Crushed...

[lisadc1]

So, I was told a couple of days ago that I dwell on myself too much, that everyone has health issues & problems, by someone whom I thought was a good friend. I was told that I don't spend enough time investing in the friendship and wanted to know what is wrong...

Here is what is wrong: In a year and a half, I have been diagnosed with diabetes, crohns and issues that go along with it, with an enlarged thyroid & with a tumor on it, kidney stones, was hospitalized two times in one month one for C-Diff and then also for pancreatitis because of the Imuran. I am behind on bills, I teach full-time which includes many hours of grading, lesson planning, meetings, etc..., I take full time grad classes at night - required for recertification, I have a husband with three adult children, one of which is epileptic and is out of work so we are taking on his bills as well as ours, one that is in college and is also being tested for crohns, and one that is married with a baby on the way. My medical bills and meds are so expensive I could make a nice car note easily for the price I pay monthly, my medical bills for this year alone have hit $100,000...Oh, in all my spare time, I have house work, and fur babies, and meals to cook. I am also a teacher for our youth group/youth leader, and a deacon's wife. I am just a TAD bit exhausted...

It isn't that I don't cherish friendships, I do. But I just don't have time for any personal time or interests. I literally have no time for anything.

 

[tzvia]

You certianly have a full plate. Did you explain this to your friend the way you explained it here?

 

[scottsma]

Good gracious me,I feel truly humbled.

You are an inspiration.I wonder if your FRIEND fits so much into her (?) life.???

Friends are important,but I think you can do without those who offer so little support and understanding.You are doing a wonderful job.Best wishes.

 

[sue2003]

May God help you. friendship should work from both sides!!. They could offer some help and understanding instead of blaming you. I lost some friends since my diagnosis ( or they lost me) but I dont think they were actually friends!!!

 

[wild_one353]

everyone has problems, and you have the most. maybe a support group would be a better supplement to your friends. Also, it can stress the people around you out but talking too much about things that they cant do anything to change, it makes THEM feel hopeless sometimes. I have learned to talk more about my successes and how i have overcame my obstacles rather then how hopeless they are. Just to inform you fecal transplants are being studied to treat diabetes and both forms of IBD in clinical trials right now, there are some reports IBd have been in remission with FMT for 12 years with crohn's and 25 years with UC no drugs for maintainace, some researchers believe they might be cured. follow the link below for more info.

 

[my little penguin]

Big hugs hon
It will get better and you will find out who your true friends are .
I have had more than a few who didn't want to know Ds had any issues and wanted me to pretend everything was fine.

But after three years a normal can happen .

 

[lisadc1]

I did share my response pretty much that way tzvia...I don't regularly talk about my problems with anyone actually, as I have so much going on and would rather that not be my main focus. She and I use to go shopping go places together, even took our families on vacation together. But, I literally don't have time OR money to spend, as much as I would love to. I talk more on here than to anyone, even to my husband because I feel like I can say things and not be "judged" so much. I can get what is on my mind out without burdening family/friends, if that makes sense...

On another note, my daughter's first round of tests did show IBD yesterday. She doesn't know yet. Waiting to talk with the dr. on Tuesday. The tests showed it was undetermined whether it is Colitis or Crohns, so I am sure scopes are the next steps to determine what is going on. We spend so little time together with her being away at college, thought we would spend quality time decorating for Christmas with her this weekend, before the "great" news. Already focused on diet changes - she started a food journal already, and the meds he prescribed has settled her intestines a bit on some days. She still looks sick, even her professors have made comments to her concerning how she looks and has encouraged her to go to the dr. So thankful she has a great support system there!

Thanks for support everyone.

 

[tzvia]

I know you'll give your daughter awesome care. Take care of yourself too. A better friend would understand and ask what kind if help you needed.

 

[lisadc1]

Thanks, so much. And yes, she will get all the support, encouragement she needs. She has always been so active, athletically as well as academically, as well as in the church & community. Besides working two jobs during the summer, she would also serve as a volunteer at our local hospital in outpatient surgery. She is going into the medical field. But I can see such a change in her the last few months, physically, mentally, everything. Strange how this illness affects the body...Again, thank you for your kind words of encouragement!