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Perfer

Perfer

Joined
Sep 9, 2011
Messages
46
im so sick of feeling worthless, and having people in my neighbourhood talk behind my back about that guy who doesnt work and is home all the time

im sick of trying to find a girl and telling her on the 3rd or 4th date about my condition, and my stoma, and watching them all go

im sick of not being able to work, not having the energy to be social, not having the energy for my hobbies, im so sick of going to bed alone feeling like no-one will ever care about me

its to the point where I want to pay a hooker just to feel some intimacy, but then id have people judging me and telling me im a bad person for that too

sometimes I really feel like giving up on all this shit they call life, maybe not being is better then this
 
I'm sorry you are feeling down. Don't worry what other people say. And girls who can't love you despite your condition are not worth it. Don't give up hope, the hundreds of people here on this forum understand what you are going through, and are all on your side.
 
Hi Perfer
Sorry to hear you are feeling low in spirits.
It seems to go with the territory of Crohn's but it will get better.
There are many things to be grateful for,family, somewhere to live-- nice scenery
I have seen such beautiful pictures of Norway and it is so historic.
Are you able to explore countries and games especially brain games on your computer?
It makes such an outlet when confined to indoors.Just imagine all those lovely places to visit--
Also have you tried meditation, it can be such a release.
Now you have joined us you have many friends to turn to and I hope you will keep in touch with us on the forum.
There are many people here that care about you.
Feel better soon
Hugs and best wishes
Trysha
 
thank you for the support, it happened again with a girl today that I really liked so it brought me down pretty hard. I will bounce back eventually but some days its very hard.

I think I need to wait longer before I open up about it, but I hate keeping secrets.

im glad we have this part of the forum to share our frustrations and depressions.

yes Norway is very beautiful, it helps to go out in nature :)

that first post is my darkest most depressed thoughts, sometimes they rear their ugly head, its like dexters dark passenger if you have watched the show..

but mostly im doing ok, ive learnt to live with this disease after having it for 12 years now
 
The dating thing does suck. So does the lying. And it's hard to hide as the first question is always "aren't you going to have a coffee?" or "lets meet up for drinks after work" and it's immediately a choice between telling a lie that has to be explained later or just explaining the situation right away.

Maybe we need to organize IBD singles events :p there's surely not a bar in the world with enough bathrooms for that.

Hang in there. It always gets better (and then worse again, but always better).


P.S. What are your hobbies? I recently picked up a guitar since I've been home a lot and despite having no musical talent it's been great fun learning.
 
I met my fiance on an online gaming forum. He lived on the other side of the country and moved here to be with me. Been together for over three years now and knew each other online for 5-6 years before. Having a web cam definitely helps. There are other people on the forum who met their significant other online as well. I wouldn't rule it out. Doesn't have to be a dating site but with the internet you meet lots of people in your area who you'd never normally run into.

And never mind the people who talk. They don't know what's going on and don't need to. You know who you are and what you're worth and don't need a bunch of nobodies trying to say different.
 
I do have hobbies, I like mountain biking alot! we have nice forests here that are really cool to cycle in, but its abit taxing physically so I cant do it too often. Besides that I do abit of gaming. Playing the guitar does sound like alot of fun! maybe ill check into how much a used one would be :)

I am actually registered on an online dating site, ive met a few girls from there but its either the same old story or no chemistry etc, I do have faith that I will find a girl that is right for me if I dont give up. so thats my biggest thing now, never give up.

I have to say it really helped to just get all those depressing thoughts out and know that someone read them and understands what its like! thank you guys/girls so much :)
 
Awwww sorry you are feeling at a very low point:-( it will get better it just takes time. If someone doesn't want to be with you coz of your condition they simply aren't worth it. To be honest that's what I'm worried about as well. Take care xx
 
It is hard when you feel like you are alone, we've all been there I'm sure. I know I have anyway. Was treated for depression for many years brought on by my disease. I was diagnosed in my early 20s and well that's the time when we all like to be out and about, trying to find ourselves and socialize and I couldn't do those things most of the time. It really hit me hard and I ended up dropping out of college and staying to myself really. I was in a relationship and it had failed because I just couldn't get out of my funk. All that alone time did give me the chance to have a look at my life and one day decided to not let my disease run me anymore. I trained myself to think positive rather then negative and that helped me more than anything. I realized that I will have good days and bad days, that I just have to take things one day at a time. I got back up on my feet and started being myself again, and well I got back into college, socialized and met the love of my life. I'm finally back on track. Things will fall into place for you, it just takes time and patience. As for finding a lady friend, she will come along, maybe when you least expect it. Some people just aren't strong enough to deal with the fact you have a health issue, but there will be someone who will want to be beside you in good and bad, who will look past the disease and realize that you are a good person. Good luck to you :)
 
Perfer said:
im so sick of feeling worthless, and having people in my neighbourhood talk behind my back about that guy who doesnt work and is home all the time

im sick of trying to find a girl and telling her on the 3rd or 4th date about my condition, and my stoma, and watching them all go

im sick of not being able to work, not having the energy to be social, not having the energy for my hobbies, im so sick of going to bed alone feeling like no-one will ever care about me

its to the point where I want to pay a hooker just to feel some intimacy, but then id have people judging me and telling me im a bad person for that too

sometimes I really feel like giving up on all this shit they call life, maybe not being is better then this
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1) Who cares what your neighbors think? My neighbors hate me. They're these crazy ultra-conservative nutbars who think I poisoned their cat and think I'm a communist. Their cat was 18. It just died because it was old.

2) Maybe try waiting longer? Personally, I would have a really hard time getting my head around the fact that my partner has a stoma. I know it's not a nice thing to say, but I don't think I'm emotionally attached enough by the fourth date to be able to make that kind of commitment.

Which of course, it would be. I think a normal person commits to a sick person faster than they do another normal person, because they feel bad for us.

3) Are you in remission?

4) There's a girl somewhere who's actually offering herself for snuggles. You pay her, and she snuggles you. Legit.

More practically, try what I said in #2. I get being lonely, I really do. But it's not like some miracle is going to happen and you're going to have someone to hold all of the sudden.

Or, you could find a snuggle buddy. I'm serious (craigslist? lol). Or organize a cuddle party with strangers. Heck, you could even try it here, depending on how many people live near you. CUDDLING IS FUN.

5) Here's a better suggestion: make an alternative effort to get yourself out of a rut. Forget about socializing, going out to drink with friends, etc. Go outside in the sun. Sit in it. It will make you feel better. Take up painting, even if you're a terrible artist. Attack that page. Go camping. Not in your backyard, either. Bring your stoma stuff, and go camp in the woods.

I spent a good portion of my life depressed. It wasn't until I stopped waiting something good to happen, and started doing things that made no sense but made me feel better, that I really was able to get on with my life.


Hope you feel better soon,

Robert.
 
2) yeah I should wait longer before progressing the "relationships", like on date 3-4 sometimes the girl will want to spend the night, and thats when id tell her about all of it.

Sometimes she would spend the night still but then things go wrong, I felt like if a girl wants to spend the night, as a guy its expected of me to go for it, but im weird like that if I dont trust or know the girl well enough it just feels wrong for me, like I cant relax and enjoy being physical with someone I dont feel I know really well.

I should probably wait until I know the girl better then id have a better feeling of if she is the person who can handle it and if she is someone id like to be with.

ithink what you say about being attatched enough to make that commitment is very true, I have never thought of it that way. With my ex we were friends for years first so she knew everything when we went into the relationship.

3) I am kindof in remission, I am not able to work and I have days where im completely exhausted, most days I can be with friends for a few hours or go shopping for a few hours then feel exhausted but other days I have to spend on the couch from morning to night, im on imuran and have been for about 8 years, I dont have big flareups with diareea and inflammation anymore but I still get exhausted so easily, I try to work out on my good days to improve my health

4) I dont think id go throu with that, not until I give up and I dont want to give up, it was just how I felt at that moment. very low and lonely, I dont think id enjoy cuddling with a girl that only wanted to because I payed her, but maybe if she was really cute :p


I met a girl on the online dating site and going for our first date on wednesday now, ill just focus on having fun and trying to get to know her and not get attatched too quick, I try to think of it as any date is a chance to meet someone interesting and new and if nothing comes from it its still a good thing to get out there and try atleast.

thanks for the suggestions everyone :)
 
Perfer said:
2) yeah I should wait longer before progressing the "relationships", like on date 3-4 sometimes the girl will want to spend the night, and thats when id tell her about all of it.
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Looks like you're dating the wrong kind of woman. In my non-experience, a girl who wants sex on the fourth date is an enamoured fool. If they want it on the first, they just want sex. But on the fourth? That screams bad.

Look for someone who'll wait. Who you can actually grow a relationship with, before you've got to get naked.
 
If a girl doesn't like you... fuck em. Who cares. Lots of bitches in this world. Just gotta keep at it till theres the one that wont run away.
 
EthanPSU said:
If a girl doesn't like you... fuck em. Who cares. Lots of bitches in this world. Just gotta [strike] keep at it till theres the one that wont run away. [/strike] find a dude, they're much cooler.

www.feminism.org
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FTFY

PS get the website while it's hot. Also, I'm not responsible for any terribly innapropriate, or illegal things that come up. And your IP won't actually be reported to the FBI.

PPS: awww, no strike-through :(
 
EthanPSU said:
Haha I saw what ya did anyways.
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Wasn't me actually.

Idiots had a jscript if statement for username = admin and password = admin, then grant access to cpanel.

Right in the HTML.

Someone found out, posted it to multiple imageboards.

Hence why there's currently dragon ball z porn everywhere. :D
 
Hi Perfer,

So sorry you're going through such a rough spell. Some women are definely shallow, I'm sorry to say. Others may just be scared of what they don't understand. I was really touched by your post and wanted to share my experience with you.

When I was 18 I met a guy I really liked, we were friends and would go dancing. He wanted more but when he told me he had a brain tumor that would cause his health to deteriorate it completely scared me. I was already taking care of my aunt with colon cancer at home in hospice and just could not imagine losing another person I cared about to a terrible disease.

When he wanted a definite answer to where we were headed I didn't lie to him; I was honest with him about my fears and he said he understood. I felt sick with guilt over being "that" person; I felt it made me a total b*tch.

Well one year later what goes around came around and I became so ill with Crohn's I was bedridden for 8 months, and then I got to experience guy's rejecting me over illness. After I got Crohn's I did tell the guy I turned down how deeple sorry I was over my behavior. We're still friends; I see him infrequently, btw.

I was rejected so much so often I wouldn't tell anyone I had Crohn's even my friends. I even hid it from my future husband; that really backfired because I had a terrible flare when I was out with him which landed me in the hospital.

I know this doesn't make me sound good, but I learned a lesson from the whole experience and I'm grateful to have learned it young. What I'm trying to say is that even though it sucks now you may be teaching these women lessons they didn't even know they needed to learn.

I know that doesn't make up for the pain and loneliness now but even if they never reach out to you I can guarantee something will happen in their lives and they'll remember you. And in the meantime it will weed out the shallow b*tches and lead you to someone who will love you for who you are, Crohn's and all.

Sorry the post grew longer than I expected! :)
 
Thank you for that wonderful post Mountaingem! I totally understand why you would have a hard time with that at age 18 and already taking care of your aunt!

I dont think it makes you a bad person at all. Even getting intouch with that guy and apologising, that takes a big person to do! I bet he really appreciated that.

That sounds very rough that you ended up hiding it from everyone, you must have been in so much emotional pain :s im sorry you had to go through that.

I have been told by some of the women I dated how brave I am for telling them about it, and in a way it does weed out the shallow girls.

But I do understand that it is something that is not easy to accept for everyone. I know when I do find a girl who accepts me for me she will be worth the wait! just a matter of being patient and not giving up lol

I really appreciate you taking the time to share your experiences, it sounds silly but it really helps to read stories like yours and see that I am not alone and to change my perspective on the whole thing. :)
 
Mountaingem said:
Hi Perfer,

So sorry you're going through such a rough spell. Some women are definely shallow, I'm sorry to say. Others may just be scared of what they don't understand. I was really touched by your post and wanted to share my experience with you.

When I was 18 I met a guy I really liked, we were friends and would go dancing. He wanted more but when he told me he had a brain tumor that would cause his health to deteriorate it completely scared me. I was already taking care of my aunt with colon cancer at home in hospice and just could not imagine losing another person I cared about to a terrible disease.

When he wanted a definite answer to where we were headed I didn't lie to him; I was honest with him about my fears and he said he understood. I felt sick with guilt over being "that" person; I felt it made me a total b*tch.

Well one year later what goes around came around and I became so ill with Crohn's I was bedridden for 8 months, and then I got to experience guy's rejecting me over illness. After I got Crohn's I did tell the guy I turned down how deeple sorry I was over my behavior. We're still friends; I see him infrequently, btw.

I was rejected so much so often I wouldn't tell anyone I had Crohn's even my friends. I even hid it from my future husband; that really backfired because I had a terrible flare when I was out with him which landed me in the hospital.

I know this doesn't make me sound good, but I learned a lesson from the whole experience and I'm grateful to have learned it young. What I'm trying to say is that even though it sucks now you may be teaching these women lessons they didn't even know they needed to learn.

I know that doesn't make up for the pain and loneliness now but even if they never reach out to you I can guarantee something will happen in their lives and they'll remember you. And in the meantime it will weed out the shallow b*tches and lead you to someone who will love you for who you are, Crohn's and all.

Sorry the post grew longer than I expected! :)
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I'd like to nominate this post as best post of the year.
 
Perfer

They'll be someone out there who when you tell them will hug you and want to help, because they understand that this is part of the package that they get. As others have said you just haven't met them yet. But keep looking buddy ... and have some fun.

Take care of yourself.

Ian
 
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"Bitches they come, they go,
Saturday through Sunday monday,
Monday through Sunday yo,
Maybe i'll love you one day,
Maybe we'll someday grow,
Till then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin runway hoe..."

Sorry for the language ha. But also I feel that music really helps when dealing with hearbreak and what not. I am a huge music buff and breaking up with my ex made me a bigger one. There are songs out there for every situation you can think of.
 
I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I think with a chronic disease like ours, we have to be prepared for more ups and downs than the "average" person. At the ripe old age of 4? you would think I would be prepared for it. I am not. And I have sunk to emotional lows I did not know existed with this current flare.

After reading your story and in reminding you brighter days will come. The right person will come along, it reminds me too!

So I will thank you for posting your story and I hope things turn around for you! Quickly!


Lauren
:ghug:
 
So, Perfer any good dates lately? I saw that you had one a couple weeks back. How did it go?

I've been sharing my first few dates with a new guy with you guys, so I was just curious how your dating life is going? ;)

Sarah
 
Hi Sarah! I havent been on any other dates then that girl a few weeks ago. the date went alright, we sat at an outdoors resturant and had some nice food and chatted, she was very hard to get to know, she seemed shy.She also seemed like the "party girl" type, with a name tattooed on her wrist that she said she wanted removed lol.

I had an ok time, I said it would be nice to meet her again and she just said "we'll see", so I figured that was her way of rejecting me in a nice way.

Then 2 weeks later she texts me when drunk and wants me to come to a party. I said sorry but no. I dont think she was the type of girl who could handle my condition, she seemed quite immature for 27 years old.


in other news I just returned from spain yesterday, it was so awesome! I only had problems 1 day out of 8 and the other 7 was spent at the beach and swimming in the sea, there were so many pretty spanish girls at the beach! :O

I really needed to get away and have some fun :)

@Lauren
sorry to hear you are feeling so low, brighter days can seem so far away sometimes, I hope you get your flare under control soon and can get back on track! I have no idea how you can have crohns and deal with 3 kids, 4 dogs and a husband! you must be a really strong person!

thank you for the well wishes! I feel alot better lately, hopefully my health and mood will stay, I am going in for some "work assesment" thing later this month to see if I can work without getting sick, so fingers crossed ill be able to have a part time job in the near future.
 
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Just wanted to chip in and say yeah dating with Crohn's is no fun, especially when you have to explain all the gory details. The guys I've told have actually been pretty amazing about it, buy I'm still single so still can't have been that amazing! I tried online dating and it was actually pretty good I'd definitely do it again, but sadly wherever you meet them if it's not the right guy it's still not the right guy.

I guess he's out there somewhere!

Having Crohn's in your 20's brings unique problems in terms of dating, work, self-esteem etc. it's terrible for everyone but I feel affected in a very specific way emotionally being 24 and ill, and I think if I was older/younger I would feel differently. Not necessarily better, but I just think being sick and in your 20's is pretty hard.
 
I'll add that I've just been diagnosed as having mild depression. It really helps having a professional say, 'well no wonder you feel down, look how tough things are for you!' I have a habit of blaming myself for everything, putting way too much pressure on myself, and having very high expectations about life in general. I'm not on any medication but my doctor has recommended an online CBT course which is apparently very helpful, and he's asked me to fill out a questionnaire about how I've been feeling. I know this illness is the main catalyst for feeling down - I always considered myself a strong, positive person, but illness makes it so much harder to cope with the other things that happen (e.g. relationship problems, or work worries, or anything really).
 
yep, pretty girls can cure anything! haha

I start my work assesment tomorrow, really hope it works out. Not being able to work is so annoying!!

no news on the dating front havent had the motivation lately
 
Keep going perfer, things will get better. As for as dating goes, be patient. The right girl won't care about the stoma on your stomach or the fact that your are ill at times, she will want to be there for you and help you get through the tough times. After getting my ostomy i thought my life was over as far as girls are concerned. I've now been with my gf about 6 months and she is great, she isn't put off by all my problems and shes seen me go through god knows how long in hospital. she forgets I even have a bag sometimes.

Glad to see from your later posts in this thread that things are looking a bit more positive, and good luck with your work assesment. I agree with not being able to work being frustrating, It's been over 12 months since I last worked now and its getting very tedious!
 
Sorry to ask a personal question but how did you tell her about it and how far in the relationship. That's my worst fear relationship with it sorry you don't need to answer them if you don't want too x
 
I can only speak from the woman's perspective obviously but I think it should be fairly early in the relationship.

In my experience certain men seemed like they thought of me in one way, as healthy or I don't really know what, because it was very early into getting to knew them so I'm guessing it was based on my appearance that they formed a certain perception. But when I told them about having Crohn's it totally changed their perception of me, to the point that it was like I had misled them. I didn't go TMI or anything, just casually mentioned it, didn't make a big deal out of it. I let them ask questions if they want but didn't offer info if they didn't pursue it.

Maybe one of the guys could explain the thought process, I'm not sure. I hid it from my future husband until a sudden flare ripped me out of the Crohn's closet, lol!

@Cheerbear12-My husband knew about Crohn's long before we were intimate, in my case I just couldn't keep it a secret in that stage of my illness, I had fistulas and other complications that really needed addressing before I felt comfortable being that vulnerable. That's just me, though-and there's really no such thing as a too personal question here lol!
 
Hi Perfer,
Dating is super hard with IBD. I know from past experience since I have problems with abscessing and fistula making sex difficult. How I was able to find the wonderful man I found I do not know, but I hope you have the same luck as I soon.

Have you herd of Crohnology? It is still in testing phases and you have to fill out an application to be approved but I like it. Good for tracking symptoms, questions and meeting people. Maybe a nice way to meet people in your area with IBD. Also, Sara Ringer of Inflamed and Untamed is thinking of getting a dating thing going on her facebook page. Something maybe to look into if you are not apposed to dating others with IBD.

All the best!
 
Keep your head up and your heart open! If a woman can't see past your disease and see how beautiful you are, then she is not worthy of you.
 
smallfry said:
Hi Perfer,
Dating is super hard with IBD. I know from past experience since I have problems with abscessing and fistula making sex difficult. How I was able to find the wonderful man I found I do not know, but I hope you have the same luck as I soon.

Have you herd of Crohnology? It is still in testing phases and you have to fill out an application to be approved but I like it. Good for tracking symptoms, questions and meeting people. Maybe a nice way to meet people in your area with IBD. Also, Sara Ringer of Inflamed and Untamed is thinking of getting a dating thing going on her facebook page. Something maybe to look into if you are not apposed to dating others with IBD.

All the best!
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thanks! I have not heard of crohnology. As luck would have it I was at a club 3 weeks ago and I saw this girl smiling at me and I gave her my most charming smile (I was grinning like an idiot she told me later) anyway we have become good friends, and it turns out she has IBS lol.. she was really fascinated by my stoma and that whole thing, we have both agreed that we should just be friends because we have a nice friendship going, so atleast that is positive :)

her symptoms are way worse then mine :s

I am in a good period lately though so really hope it will last. I am still looking for the one but I feel more hopeful that I can actually find her now.
 
positivity brings positive things! Glad to hear you are more hopeful and sounding positive! I'm sure she will come your way. Plus, you look pretty hot in your pic so I'm sure your charming smile goes a long way ;)
Take care and all the best!
 
Glad you met a nice girl who can understand health issues. Friends is the best way to start, for sure. My now husband and I were friends long before we ever got together.

I overlooked him as just a friend, even though we always had so much fun. One night I was out with a guy who was rambling on about how awesome he was and I found myself thinking, "I wish I was with David instead of this loser." So I went for it!

We married pretty young; once we got together marriage followed quickly because the foundation was already there for a solid relationship. We'll be married 18 years on September 17.
 
smallfry said:
positivity brings positive things! Glad to hear you are more hopeful and sounding positive! I'm sure she will come your way. Plus, you look pretty hot in your pic so I'm sure your charming smile goes a long way ;)
Take care and all the best!
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thanks for the kind words, I really do believe that about being positive.


Mountaingem said:
Glad you met a nice girl who can understand health issues. Friends is the best way to start, for sure. My now husband and I were friends long before we ever got together.

I overlooked him as just a friend, even though we always had so much fun. One night I was out with a guy who was rambling on about how awesome he was and I found myself thinking, "I wish I was with David instead of this loser." So I went for it!

We married pretty young; once we got together marriage followed quickly because the foundation was already there for a solid relationship. We'll be married 18 years on September 17.
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Yeah starting as friends is def the way I prefer. Married for 18 years? were you 15 when you married or what? you look young! :D
 
:thumleft: Haha you made my day I turn 40 September 18! It's those good Norwegian genes-my dad was born in Harstad.
 
I haven't been on a date in 11 years. Seems that ever since I developed this red patch of dry skin around my nose, which is cause by remicade, I recently found out, and that I lost my teeth to prednisone(i have dentures), I seem to just scare women. Most wont even give me the time of day.

I know I am going to end up living alone the rest of my life.
 
@djpoptart92

have you tried online dating? it can be hard to find a date at first if u dont know how it works, there are tons of men compared to women, but if you are just yourself and dont invest feelings in it until you have met the person it can be fun.

ive gone on dates with 5 girls from online dating sites the last year, 3 of them I met for 3 dates or more, and 2 for only 1 date, its been ups and downs but overall it has been good for me. And its good practice to meet new girls and talk to girls you dont really know, thats how I view it, practice.

maybe you should give it a try
 
Perfer,

It sounds like that girl was definitely not for you! But, you went out and met someone new! That's not always easy and sometimes it's nice just go get out! :) The guy I dated for a little while bolted when I mentioned Crohn's. I guess he wasn't the right one either! I"m still looking though.

A trip to Spain sounds pretty amazing! I'm glad you only had one bad day!! I could use a little vacation myself!

I hope your job assessment went well! As a teacher, I love my summer breaks, but after a few weeks I have to keep myself busy with something or I go crazy! lol.

Let me know how the job assessment and any new dates go! :) Good luck on both!
 
well thought id update this thread, my job assesment is not going very well, I only go 3 days a week but I struggle alot with fatigue, I am helping my mum move aswell and I simply dont have the energy for both (so I choose to help my mum and take time off)

I have no energy for dating so havent met anyone new, but atleast I am still friends with the girl I met with IBS. I get depressed when I feel fatigued, like yesterday I was so exhausted I didnt have the energy to do anything besides lay on my couch, hopefully my energy will come back when im done helping with moving and I can resume my job assesment.

atleast the people there are understanding and dont give me a hard time for taking time off.

Sorry to hear about your date bolting teach28, I hope you have met someone more understanding!

I plan to resume my search in the near future when my health will allow it, hopefully my hobbies too, I miss cycling alot!
 
:hug:It's so funny you updated Perfer-I was just wondering how you've been :) So sorry to hear you're not feeling good. I too struggle with exhaustion and it can be depressing to say the least. Just keep hanging in there, we're here for you!
 
thanks Mountaingem :) for some reason I didnt notice before that you said your father was born in harstad! small world! ill be sure to let you know if I find a cure for exhaustion :)
 
My husband's workmate is into body building and he says B 12 liquid for IM injections are available for purchase online-have you ever heard of this? I'm a little leery of it so I'll check it out thoroghly first.

Here in the States the doctors never want to give vitamin shots for whatever reason. I used to have an osteopathic doctor that would give me vitamin IV's and it helped soo much. Maybe that would be something you might look into-keep me posted! :)
 
that is a really good tip, thank you! :) I will def get a test to see if im B12 deficient.

I dont know how it works in the states like if you can ask your doc how dangerous it would be to buy online and do it yourself, without him reporting you for breaking the law or something. Checking it out thoroughly sounds like a good idea :p
 
Hey Perfer,

After going through a mountain of bloodtests the doctors concluded the Humira is the cause of the exhaustion and since it's not suppressing Crohn's, I'm flaring too. My Endocrinologist said even if your vitamin level tests come back normal, that is normal for a healthy person not someone fighting a major inflammatory illness so supplements may be beneficial. I'm going to give the injections a shot (pun intended) and I'll keep you posted.

Hope you are feeling better Buddy, take care :)
 
I'm so glad that I stumbled across this thread.
I went on a fantastic date with an awesome lady last Sun.
We had a second date planned for tomorrow night - which I have had to cancel as I have ended up in hospital with a flare.
I have now had the very frank discussion about CD and my Stoma with her - far sooner than anticipated.
I'm still scared it might frighten her off - but she has been great.
She is cooking me some meals and is coming in to the hospital to have the second date with me tomorrow night. I'm trying to think of a few ways I can make it a bit special for her.
Any suggestions?

And Mountain Gem - I just love your husband. He seems like such a beautiful and amazing man.
 
Samboi said:
I'm so glad that I stumbled across this thread.
I went on a fantastic date with an awesome lady last Sun.
We had a second date planned for tomorrow night - which I have had to cancel as I have ended up in hospital with a flare.
I have now had the very frank discussion about CD and my Stoma with her - far sooner than anticipated.
I'm still scared it might frighten her off - but she has been great.
She is cooking me some meals and is coming in to the hospital to have the second date with me tomorrow night. I'm trying to think of a few ways I can make it a bit special for her.
Any suggestions?

And Mountain Gem - I just love your husband. He seems like such a beautiful and amazing man.
Click to expand...

Oh, she sounds fantastic! If she's willing to have a second date in the hospital I doubt if she scares off very easily. Now, to make your hospital date special...if your hospital has a gift shop maybe have some flowers or candy there for her. Also, maybe watch one of your favorite movies together.

No matter what you do, she obviously is more interested in spending time with you than a specific activity, so try to relax and enjoy yourself. :)

Thank you for the compliments for my hubby, yes he is a great guy-he makes me laugh even when we're waiting in the ER. :lol:

I hope you feel better and are out of the hospital soon, take care and have fun ;)
 
Hi Perfer,

I'm a little late to this thread, but I can certainly relate to all of your experiences. I had my surgery at 19 and have had my permanent ileostomy now for over 20 years.

I had my fair share of social obstacles when I was young. It certainly wasn't fun turning 21 years old while just starting my freshman year in college, especially when I "didn't look sick". Nor was dating any easier. But I dealt with it by minimizing my circumstances and not getting into too much detail until the time was more appropriate. When I was dating (currently engaged) I would go with the flow and try to learn about the girl I with, just like anyone else. If the girl wasn't too interested in my life, then the date didn't last very long. If my circumstances came up, I would share some detail but not anything about the surgery initially. Typically, I didn't share anything about my pouch until the issue forced itself, and I learned how to prepare for that. Usually, a girl interested in you isn't going to find your surgery a problem. There will be some girls who consider it freakish, but I've only experienced two of them. Usually, I got a good idea beforehand if the person is mature enough and I wouldn't waste my time if not. Unfortunately, younger girls can more challenging in this regard,but it's really not that bad. I learned to live my life like a normal person and not sweat the bs. Those who contribute to the bs are ones I don't get close to. We all have to make some kind of judgements as to who we get close to, and that's true for anyone, not just those who are sick. IBD and all it's related issues make a peron better in this regard. We all know of someone who seems to consistently make all the wrong choices when it comes to their boyfriends/girlfriends and they never seem to figure it out and you wonder why that person doesn't "get it". People with IBD are usually not one of these people. :) Take care of yourself first, and the rest will take care of itself. Hope all is better soon!
 
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