Does anyone else feel like people get mad at you for having CD?

[chunnicutt]

Does anyone ever feel like your friends or family (at least the ones who don't really understand Chron's and how it affects you) almost get mad at you for being sick?

I am newly diagnosed (only about 3 weeks ago) and not many of my friends and family really understand what I'm going through. I have explained what CD is to them many times, and also explained to them what I feel and how much pain I am in...but, whenever it comes meal time, its like they forget that I can't eat what they can, and that I'm in pain so I'm not really in the mood for eating, and that sometimes I'm scared to eat because of the potential for it to make me feel worse. My mother acts like its a burden for her to have to provide something else for me to eat when I come and visit her...its like she thinks I'm being picky on purpose. Same thing with my best friends. We had plans to go eat at an Italian restaurant that served gluten free pasta (gluten makes me have more pain right now so I am avoiding it), and I was so excited about it. I haven't eaten pasta in weeks and finally found a place that had something I could eat....but then they suddenly wanted to change restaurants because the wait was long...and cue the trip to a Buffalo Wild Wings...home of everything breaded and fried. The only thing I could eat was a salad, which I had eaten at least 15 salads that week and was about sick to my stomach at the though of eating another one..When I expressed my dismay at the fact that all I could eat there was a salad they got all crazy with me and said that I was being really picky.

If all they could be offered at a restaurant was a salad, when they had been looking forward to eating one of their favorite foods instead, I think they would be mad too. Anyway, I just feel like the people closest to me don't understand that i'm not trying to be picky, but that I avoid foods because they make me sick.

Just had to vent, but does anyone have similar stories to mine??

 

[BBACK12]

I know exactly how you are feeling. Before I was diagnosed, I felt terrible all the time! It was hard for me to go to dinner with my boyfriend or even do simple things like go to a movie, go shopping etc. Everytime I tried to explain how I felt to everyone, they blew me off or told me it was all in my head. Once I got diagnosed in December, everyone then kind of understood that I had something wrong, but they didn't realized that I still felt bad and they didn't understand how bad I actually felt. I still don't feel all that great, and a few weeks ago, we had some friends come down from Columbus for a day and it was so hard for me to go to lunch,( they also chose Buffalo Wild Wings, so I was thinking oh great!) and then when we did I wanted to go home right after because I felt so sick. My boyfriend kind of got mad at me and I could tell he was mad at me. I don't think anyone really understands what we feel unless they have dealt with this themselves or have seen how bad it can be in others too. You're not alone! I have been in this situation for awhile!

 

[Stephy Chelle]

Oh my Lord!! I know EXACTLY how you feel! I've had this nuisance of a disease forever it feels like and HATE that I can't eat what I want. Cuz girl, I LOVE food!!! My husband loves to eat out.....I just can't do that so he's stuck eating at home or he and our daughter will go without me. That upsets them when I won't go out to dinner with them. He and my families are big on eating out and I can't eat out. I refuse anymore cuz it just hurts me. So I can relate girly. Someday by the grace of God, those we love and cherish will be awakened to our disease and finally understand. Let's just hope it soon. Hang in there lady and keep your chin up!!!

 

[Airborne1525]

I can relate. My wife doesn't seem to understand why I don't want to take a long walk through town after we eat out. My personal pet peeve is when I get a text while in the bathroom asking me if I am ok or if I will be done soon. I gave up trying to explain and just shut down. I know, not the best way to handle things for our relationship but it works for me, for now....

 

[stickman7755]

I had to leave my gf of two years and drive from Chicago to California because my family insisted that I was crazy for being upset and angry because I was in so much pain. Two weeks after major surgery my parents tried to commit me to a mental hospital because I was being so angry all the time. I was yelling when I was curled over a toilet vomiting and passing out from the pain. My mom, who was supposed to be watching over me, wouldn't answer my phone calls when I wanted to be driven to the ER because I was yelling too much and she couldn't handle it. I told her I could have died and her response was "that doesn't give you the right to yell at your mother"

 

[Heather7]

Can soooo relate. It gets to the point that I don't mention anything to anyone about what is going on...then friends and coworkers and family ask what is wrong? Well gees people...feel like.... They don't understand. My husband has been very good...I do have to say... my mother on the other hand...tells me to suck it up. Thanks mom. It sucks not being able to have certain foods...love to eat...love to cook.
Crohns since 2007

 

[Stephy Chelle]

Heather7, I feel ya girl!!! I LOVE food! And it does SUCK that we are limited in our diet. And it's hard when you have a family too huh? Mine is pretty much on the same diet as me cuz I don't want food in the house that I can't eat. It is just torture!!! Lol So far they haven't fought me on it. When they start shaking cuz they need GOOD food lol they go out to eat and have father daughter time. And I stay home and eat my bland, boring food. Haha Gotta laugh at it to get through it!!

 

[David]

Invite them all over to dinner. Set the table really beautifully, light candles, put on some relaxing music. Dress up in an apron and have everyone sit at the table. Fill one of those fancy serving dishes with crushed glass, take it to the table, unveil it, and begin serving it to people. When they do the inevitable, "WTF" explain, "What you want me to eat causes me to feel like I've eaten crushed glass. It's time for you to feel how I feel." If they're one of those, "Suck it up" people be sure to add, "Suck it up" at the end.

Ok, don't do this as it's crazy. But good god have I wanted to once or twice.

 

[maria]

haha yes When I go out to eat I say PLEASE PLEASE no fruits or veggies please.. I always get 'goodness are we picky" I say, No Please save me my night from being stuck in the bathroom hating life Thats what I tell people when they say stuff to me...

The first question I always ask when I go somewhere is......... Uhm excuse me, where's the bathroom??? <----- My friends hated that.(Just so I know where to make a "run" for it in case of emergency..lol I could tell you everything about any places bathroom.. Because that's where I spent most of my time..:biggrin:

 

[Hs86]

Same here all lot of my friends don't understand at all, because I don't look poorly then it must be in my head,
My brother was the worst he was just telling me to stop mopping about ect unroll I told him last week that I have to go for surgery n I think it kinda hit him that I am really poorly,