Enough with this charade

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joe1984

Joined
Sep 12, 2010
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61
enough with this charade

To friends and family I am strong. By my self I am scared and alone. I finally just want to be mad. I keep thinking that this medicine is going to be the ONE, and it never is. The funny thing is that I am not mad at anyone, not god, not myself, not my parents or doctors. I am just mad at the situation. Can I be mad at Crohn's Disease?
Dont get me wrongI am also very greatful that I dont have any worse problems than I have and that I have people that try to be here for me
 
Me too

:mademyday:Joe,
I am mad too! Mad that I keep gaining weight every day! Mad that I had to have surgery. Mad that its hard to understand this disease alone.. yet even harder to explain it to others!.. Mad that I cant jog yet. Mad that I am so flippin tired all the time right now! Mad that I am so confused and scared sometimes too! Mad that I always have a smile on my face and always make things seem ok, when deep down they are frightfull at times.. :duh:.. Ugh.. thank u for giving me the opportunity to vent it out too!
I must say that I am so thankful for finding this site though!! :wink:It has been my saving grace :ghug:
 
That is perfectly said except for the gaining weight part. I would die to gain some lean weight back. When I was 17 years old I weighed 180 lbs with 6.5% body fat. I currently weigh about 145 with about 10% body fat. It especially hit me when you said that you have a smile on your face even when you are scared.
 
I understand completely!! Thanks so much for making my day! I'm @ 5'3 and I've gotten prob below 100lbs before, not knowing I had CD. Now all of a sudden after surgery I'm bigger than ever.. I just keep gaining and its so frustrating! I would gladly give u some of mine ;).
 
Dont worry about the weight being put on as it will even out pretty well before too long. I hate that you recently had to have surgery as I know that it really sucks.
 
I spent most of yesterday being mad at Crohn's Disease. I think sometimes we need to be, just to vent some frustration. The prednisone blues don't really do much to help our emotions either. I hope things look up for you soon :)
 
Thanks for the kind words Joe! I sure hope it evens out quick!! My bdays in a few days and my fatty pants are tight.. Lol,,and its ok about the surgery. Like u said there are so many people who have gone through worse! It just makes us stronger individuals. I really hope the best for you too!! Its so challenging sometimes when u want to do everything your peers are doing, but just can't.
 
The feeling of being left behind can be the worst part if you let it. For a long time I refused to be left out and now my body is mad about it. About your "fatty pants" wear them with pride and know that you will always look your best when you feel good about who you are. On a seperate subject I would like to nominate tomorrow as national be mad at crohns day :)
 
Just glad I could be of some help to you and your posts along with all the others have made me feel alot better. It gets really hard some times considering most of my friends are 22-27 and dont know what is going on with me. They all know I have crohns but you guys are living through it. It just really helps to hear from others who really know what it can be like
 
I have to say this disease is a rough ride. The worst part is planning things and they NEVER turn out. Oh yeah, my mom's 75th party did, first time in 3 years!:shifty-t:

When you are a crohnie Friday nights are many times spent at home, and friends don't understand or they get sick of us listening to our illness symptoms or cancel out on them. If they only knew.... I am older than you and now I say "oh well" friends who dont stick by you are aquaintences not friends. WE know how you feel and it is ok to be mad... it isnt our fault, remember that!:cool:
 
I am very lucky in that my friends are understanding and supportive. I have a family member with cancer and I am understanding and supportive of him. I just dont REALLY know what he is going through. I also find it really hard to tell people what I am going through since I hate whining and that is what I always feel what I am doing. That is why I am so greatful for everyone on this forum. I can talk about my problems to people that really understand and arent just being understanding. I think every GI should write a Rx to visit this site as it is one of the best places that I have found. Information is power and as long as you are learning you are working towards a better life
 
Joe,
I am so glad u are here, as well as all the other wonderful members! I also have had family members with cancer. All of my grandparents have passed on, as has my father. I feel comfortable sharing anything here! Everyone is so genuine and understanding! I knew my grandpa(dads side) had colon cancer for 23years before he passed in front of me. And it wasn't until recently did I know I had colon cancer on my mothers side in a few different relatives, along with pancreatic cancer, and breast cancer(I think). I cherish all of the people in my life so dearly and know what its like to lose those you love. My grandpa waited for me to get to the hosp before he passed in front of me on June 22nd 2000. That is strength and proof to me of how strong we can be. He looked me in the eyes and the rest of my family @ his bed and he passed away. A year after that my dad had a massive stroke and died in front of me after a 3day coma on June 26th 2001. Well my bro and I had to sign the papers to turn off the life support machines. But I can tell u that it was a blessing for me to be there. And life is so precious!
Sorry for the long post! Just want everyone to know that I value you guys so much! I'm more at risk for developing cancer since it has been in so many close relatives. I've been scared lately. But the biopsy came back negative for cancer recently, and this forum has helped me keep it together..thanks again everyone!! :)
 
joe1984 said:
I am very lucky in that my friends are understanding and supportive. I have a family member with cancer and I am understanding and supportive of him. I just dont REALLY know what he is going through. I also find it really hard to tell people what I am going through since I hate whining and that is what I always feel what I am doing. That is why I am so greatful for everyone on this forum. I can talk about my problems to people that really understand and arent just being understanding. I think every GI should write a Rx to visit this site as it is one of the best places that I have found. Information is power and as long as you are learning you are working towards a better life
Click to expand...


I love your last line... my daughter is eventually heading for med school and she has a Wall of inspiration from many greats, I am going to show her this line, powerful words.

We are here for you 24/7!
 
I am so sorry to hear that so many of your loved ones have gone in that way. I am also happy to hear that your biopsy came back negative. Feel free to say whatever you want no matter how long it may be someone will read it. Also you can leave me a message if there is anything else. I try to do my best to help others in any way that I can. That goes not only for you girlygirl but to anyone that may have anything to say public or private
 
I think I came up with that on my own but I am not sure. It most likely came from a teacher in highschool who most likely thought i would never remember anything that he/she ever said lol
 

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