Fed up and down in the dumps :(

[robbo87]

Hey peeps, Don't really know where to start but this is the place to vent so couldnt think of anywhere else to go! i dont know whats happened but over the last few weeks i seem to all of a sudden become so depressed. I don't know if its things maybe finally catching up with me.

Up until the last few week, since i came home ive generally been pretty happy and just got on with things and nothings really got me down. But at the moment i just constantly feel like absolute crap getting upset over stupid things that i shouldnt even be thinking about and constantly being on the verge of just breaking down. My doctor reffered me to a councillor a few weeks ago but ive yet to hear back from them for an appointment. I've not yet gone back to work which i dont think is helping matters. Im just stuck in the house all day staring at the computer all day. I go out for a bit of a walk to get out the house or pop to the gym every few days for a quick swim but thats about as exciting as it gets. I cant really speak to my friends about it because, well i just wouldnt know what to say to start with tbh.

 

[Grant]

Hi robbo87, :hang:I've suffered with depression twice in the last 6 yrs because of Crohns. You are far from alone on here. Talking to the right people helps enormously(GP, specialist nurse family & friends.) A Councillor will definitely help so I hope you get an appointment soon.
Someway somehow you will find a way out, us Crohnies are tough because we have to be with all thats thrown @ us.
Rgds
Grant

 

[beth]

You're not alone... Get out as much as you can, get some exercise every day. Eat regularly, get up at a regular time too. My trickcyclist said to me only this evening that Crohn's is enough reason in itself for anyone to be depressed. Let alone all the other stuff that you've dealt with lately.

 

[soloman69]

Martin,

I feel for you - as I am in the same boat right now. I have been not working either (and I love my job not to mention it's pay) - hiding in my house as it's usually embarrassing if I run into someone anyways (small town). I try to get out too but am so nervous and scared of what might happen - that I usually don't go anywhere.

I think you and I both need something else to focus on - being in the house with access to the internet and movies gives us way too much time to think, and this stupid condition is already mind consuming on it's own.

I'm going to try to tackle a new project, tiling my floor and behind my fireplace. It's not something I have ever done before and it's still in the safety of my home.

Is there something like that you could do?? Something that you know nothing about that might help take your mind of things and give you something to be happy about at it's completion??

Cliche "Try to stay positive" it's extremely difficult, but necessary. My biggest fear is that I will become so unreasonable that my group of supporters around me will grow smaller... and whether they know it or not, they are what keep me here.

Take care of yourself, and so will I.

Tracy

 

[robbo87]

Thanks Guys.

Yeh tracy I have been trying to think of some little projects I can do to pass time but money has been a real big issue. Although today I received a letter saying that i have been getting the wrong amount of income support so that has helped ease my financial worrys a lot and can hopefully give me a chance to afford to do certain things. I used to love playing football and keeping fit in the gym but after 4 months in hospital and getting used to an ileostomy thats not something i can do just yet. I kinda feel a bit like a rabbit trapped in a cage tbh! There are positive things happening around me that should start soon, so i hope to get involved with it in some way. An upcoming court case about the people who attacked me is also going to be starting in the next few weeks so i have to make sure i dont let that drag me down either.

Thanks for the advice

 

[happy]

robbo87,
Can you follow-up on the appointment with the counsellor? Is there any kind of support for victims of crime? (I'm not calling you a victim--that's just what it is called in Canada.) You might want to read about post-traumatic stress syndrome while you are waiting for treatment. You have been through an awful lot this year and this could be what is happening.

 

[lesley1009]

Keep your chin up Martin - I'm going through periods of depression now and my situation isn't anywhere near as bad as yours. I'm so glad I have found this forum so I can vent freely without peeing off my nearest and dearest!

I thought I had got away with having this illness and still carrying on my day to day life so having a major flare up after 9 years relatively trouble free is a big reminder that it's here and I have to deal with it - although I'm not dealing with it so well some days. I don't know yet what lies ahead for me but the only way I can get through is taking one day at a time. If it's rubbish I hope that the next day will be better and if it's good then I'm glad for that but don't put any pressure on myself that the following days will be the same. I'm lucky in that I work from home so can still earn, but my motivation level is zero at the moment so that might have some knock on effect in the months to come - but I'll worry about that when or if it happens!

If you think positive then positive things will happen - I know it's hard sometimes but try to stay focused and hopefully that will help you through.

Take care

 

[Spooky1]

Hi, Martin,

i too suffer from depression and have made things a whole lot worse, which of course, makes my crohns a lot worse. I am waiting to see whether or not i get taken to court or let off by DWP. norty me can't stand staying in any longer and hospital is an hour and half away, try not needing the loo. I also have a gastrostomy which i'm pegged up to for 20 hours a day. any movement with this, and with crohns in the gastrostomy tract, is very difficult. i also suffer extreme fatigue and nausea with the slightest bit of exersion making me puke.

bad news is, with menopausal moods and the seasonal affective disorder i'm just about at my wits end. i'm in that bottomless black pit, and now i'm starting to drink alcohol again which i'd given up on some years back. its certainly not every day but every few days. this doesn't seem to affect the crohns these days so i'm lucky there, but it doesn't help the depression either. the tamazapam doesn't work well either, just a few hours sleep at night. i have got social services in to try and help me but there is only a little they can do. its really a question of wait and see. personally i don't think i can face a court case, but you should, although i feel for you entirely. it can't be nice having to face such nasty bullies again. no one needs a beating up let alone an ill person. i hope it goes well for you, Martin. i also hope that you find yourself in a happier frame of mind soon, and yes, you must chase up that appointment. I did get an appointment with a CPN who told me after a session that 'Im doing fine'. and that was it. No i'm definitely not fine! but it seems to be me all alone at home everyday knowing just how 'unfine' i am. but i do wish you the best possible outcome.

@Beth, you got an understanding trickcyclist there. yes crohns is depressing!! all the best


Diane

 

[robbo87]

Well I've asked my surgery about why i havent heard anything back, and apparently theres just a really long waiting list. so i just guess im gonna have to wait

 

[rob101]

spooky and rob have you thought of going to a Yoga class it can really help with depression ,there are lots of styles to try just need to find one that suits you .

 

[happy]

robbo87,
You still have to wait?? That sucks. In the meantime keep coming to the Forum to vent and to tell us how you are. How soon is the court case supposed to get going? Do you have someone to help you through that because you could be in for a tough time having to concentrate on that difficult period of time again.

I remembered something that really helped me when I was recovering from a traumatic incident. It is called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). It sounds kind of weird, but it actually helps to process the traumatic memories so that they don't keep bugging you. You usually need to meet the therapist at least once before the EMDR session. The EMDR session takes 1.5-2 hours. I only had one session of the EMDR, but it was extremely helpful. The only problem is that it is expensive. Perhaps you could be referred to someone who does it when you see the counsellor.

Here's a link to some info about it: http://helpguide.org/mental/pdf/emdr.pdf
and here's a YouTube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N21PfAU6cks&feature=related