Feeling angry for this disease

[Igorsmommy]

Normally I just read the posts people have up and it helps reassure me that this flare wont kill me. But I need to vent now. And I need some support from people who understand.

Im just so sick of being in pain. I just want to wake up and go to work like everyone else. Not wake up. poop. attempt to eat. poop. get to work. poop. hope to make it through my day while trying to find the middle ground between starving and eating is painful. its just ridiculous. And quite frankly im sick of listening to myself complain, and I feel bad for always complaining to my friends or to my husband, but it just hurts so much and Im so uncomfortable and sometimes I want to feel validated, but that just makes me feel like a burden again. Its a vicous cycle...

So for Christmas my husband bought us Broadway tix to The Book Of Mormom! This was a really huge surprise, seeing as we dont make a lot of money and it was really thoughtful. Well I spent the week before on the couch and in the bathroom. So finally the steriods started helping and we're able to go.
All day my ass hurt, I kept trying to get to a bathroom that wasnt either crowded or cramped. The worst was on the train. 2 hours, I couldnt take it any longer, i was gonna **** myself. So I go to the little horrible bathroom, it has no running water, no water in the toilet, and its absolutely filthy, covered in pee like someone just peed all over for the fun of it. Its cramped, theres no room, I have jeans and stockings on, i cant sit, and people start knocking on the door. All I wanted at that moment was my own bathroom, or at least a ******* wet wipe. I came back to my seat 15 minutes later, bow legged from the pain in my ass and still feeling like i was gonna **** myself.

Its ridiculous, and Im sick of it

 

[Cross-stitch gal]

I wish I had more comforting words to say. But, I can say that you're not alone on here and we can all understand where you're coming from. :ybatty: Sending many hugs your way. :hug:

 

[n00b]

I feel for you 100%. I get like that on a regular basis and it sux balls!!!
I know its sooo difficult but try to brush yourself down, get ya head up and don't let it win.

Stay strong and things will get better

 

[Axelfl3333]

Can,t offer much other than to say at times it's a ballache!

 

[Igorsmommy]

Thanks for the support guys, it feels good to see people responded to me. I need to use this resource more. Im still in pain today, but Im feeling a little more positive.

 

[Sharday89]

Igorsmommy I totally understand your pain. Ive been going through it for the last few months, pain, bleeding I almost even ddopped out of school. I was admitted to the hospital in december for my Crohn's I had lost 17lbs in two months because I was afraid to eat, anx even with not eating I still bled so I had to get three blood transfusions. I was so frustrated ive cdied so many tears znd screzmed so much that I give myself a headache. Ive come to the conclusion that this disease is apart of me so I must beat it & with that we have to literally adjust our lives. It is now apart of our lifestyle so we have to adjust, get up a little earlier to tKe a poop before work, see if your doc can prescribe a medication that you can take before you eat, I take bentyl its helped out alot. Isometimes look online to find funny quotes about Crohn's that make me look on the bright side. I even have a Crohn's t shirt that I put on when im really having a bad day, that also gives me strength! Dont get me wrong im absolutely still hAving bad days but the more ive embraced it, my day by day gradually gets a little better. Goodluck !

 

[Igorsmommy]

Thank you Sharday, I actually just went on Pinterest to look up some funny quotes after I read your post. It was helpful!

 

[Sharday89]

That's a start! I'm not sure if you have instagram but that's where I find alot of them as well! Good luck with everything!