Feeling down and thinking to much

Crohn's Disease Forum

Help Support Crohn's Disease Forum:

Joined
May 17, 2016
Messages
51
I have gotten to the point that i truly just want surgery. I'm tired of the cramps, tired of bleeding evry day, tired of every time my g/f comes to town her thinking that she needs to take care of me, tired of popping pills that just don't work, tired of popping pills that just cover up issues for the day, and just tired and worn out.

I start the Humira on Monday. Up in till last week i was all for it and could not wait to start taking it. I just feel deep down inside that this is going to be a very short term solution. I have the feeling that i will end up getting MRSA, VRSA, CDIFF, or something else from work.

I know i have had a bad week lowering the dose of my prednisone and then having to go right back to upping the dose. I just sweat the 8 to 12 hours i'm at work. It's also harder to deal with people when you just feel like trash your self.

I have had to many days where i just want to go to the ER. I don't want pain meds because they mess with my ADHD (no medicated) way to much and ends up driving me off the deep end. I don't want to take another pill to cover something up.

For the last 5 weeks i have been working with a nutritionist trying to get me on a better diet for weight loss and the Crohn's. Now i'm dealing with more cramps on top of the lower GI cramps.

I know i would end up with a ileostomy and all of my colon would have to be removed. For some reason this is not as scary as the amount of medication i'm feeding in to my body.

I saw my shrink last week and she thinks i need to try the Humira. I go back this week to talk more and were going to try a low dose of ADHD medication. She wanted to do some reading about the meds i'm taking before she put me on anything.
 
I have gotten to the point that i truly just want surgery. I'm tired of the cramps, tired of bleeding evry day, tired of every time my g/f comes to town her thinking that she needs to take care of me, tired of popping pills that just don't work, tired of popping pills that just cover up issues for the day, and just tired and worn out.

I start the Humira on Monday. Up in till last week i was all for it and could not wait to start taking it. I just feel deep down inside that this is going to be a very short term solution. I have the feeling that i will end up getting MRSA, VRSA, CDIFF, or something else from work.

I know i have had a bad week lowering the dose of my prednisone and then having to go right back to upping the dose. I just sweat the 8 to 12 hours i'm at work. It's also harder to deal with people when you just feel like trash your self.

I have had to many days where i just want to go to the ER. I don't want pain meds because they mess with my ADHD (no medicated) way to much and ends up driving me off the deep end. I don't want to take another pill to cover something up.

For the last 5 weeks i have been working with a nutritionist trying to get me on a better diet for weight loss and the Crohn's. Now i'm dealing with more cramps on top of the lower GI cramps.

I know i would end up with a ileostomy and all of my colon would have to be removed. For some reason this is not as scary as the amount of medication i'm feeding in to my body.

I saw my shrink last week and she thinks i need to try the Humira. I go back this week to talk more and were going to try a low dose of ADHD medication. She wanted to do some reading about the meds i'm taking before she put me on anything.

Surgery can help at times. Ive had 3 maybe 4th soon. Im on Remicadee and doing ok but scar tissue and adhesions etc.. Try an keep ya head up. I thank God everyday i wake up. It could be worse. Im fighting joint pain now
 
Back
Top