Funny stoma tales

[Tay]

Greetings folks
I have an ileostomy as a result of severe Crohn's.

Anyway a girlfriend of mine was dating this guy who had an ileostomy for a different condition. After a few dates he fessed up to having a stoma. However, he so over did his description of it that in the end she thought that he had the equivalent of a bin liner stuck to his side! They laugh about it now - married very happy.

ps i have never revealed to them that i have a stoma as the need never arose!

 

[Terriernut]

I have a funny from my appt at the GI's office yesterday. There was a long wait, as usual. Not as long as surgeons appts, so there was no need for the picnic I'd brought with me just in case, I'm very happy to report.

I'm sitting there, bored, forgot my book. Pulled out the Iphone and head phones and proceeded to jam to Jimi Hendrix. Next thing I know, two old dears (with hearing aids I might add) both snapped their heads around and glared at me to beat all glares!!! (this was not Jimi bothering them)

Apparently Stan let out a gawd awful shart!!! FFS. Thank you Stan...take a bow!!!!
:rof:

 

[Crohn's Mom]

Never ceases to amaze me that people are put off by a big ole fart in a GI's office..whether it be from a stoma or not.
Um excuse me....we're all there for the same thing....and please...like the old folks don't let them rip full force at home ?? LOL

 

[Terriernut]

Never ceases to amaze me that people are put off by a big ole fart in a GI's office..whether it be from a stoma or not.
Um excuse me....we're all there for the same thing....and please...like the old folks don't let them rip full force at home ?? LOL

Exactly!!!!! The receptionist was having a good ol belly laugh about it. I thought it was funny too! I mean, where else I ask can I not worry about Stan? Oh well. The old couple should get over themselves already!

 

[Jeff D.]

Kind of funny, kind of not. About 5 weeks after my surgery I had had several blockages that caused a lot of pain. Well I went for my 5 week check up by my surgeon and he said I should be fine and that the pain is "most likely in my head", now my stomach being perfectly timed made this horrible roar that sounded like my stomach was possessed and his face went white and told me to lay on the table. They then put this apparatus down my stoma and fixed the issue and the next week I was perfectly fine. This lead to a pretty awesome situation. As the nurse was snaking the apparatus down my stoma I was in immense pain. My dad was holding my hand and told me to start praying and so I did. Immediately I began to smell roses as my blockage was coming out and I was not in pain anymore. It was a pretty awesome experience.

 

[Terriernut]

Oh Jeff! Why is it so hard to get through to these medical types!

Great you smelled Roses, the rest of the room surely didnt! :yfaint:

 

[Gav]

Jeff very glad you were smelling roses when the stuff that was blocking you up came out. That must indeed have been an awesome experince as you say :thumright:

For me, however, when it's time for the stoma to release its contents I wouldn't describe the smell as rosey! :stinks: