I am having an awful time right now with getting my son to go to school. Some days he will go and then the nurse will call About 1-2 hours into the day. It also seems that on weekends he does not have symptoms. I would never call him a liar but am getting concerned about school. He has missed probably close to 30 days this year. I have scheduled meeting with the school to see what we can do to be sure he is keeping up while going through this. He started remicade last week but still is having symptoms.
Getting him to go to school
- Thread starter Mato3
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Welcome Mato! Sorry, I missed your intro thread. I think there is something to be said for home bathrooms and comfort. Especially for kids. Anxiety could have a role in Kyle's(isn't it) symptoms being worse away from home. Has he mentioned any teasing? Could he speak with school admin and perhaps use a more private restroom?
Also, how much bowel was removed? Does he suffer from short bowel syndrome? Dusty's daughter has had great success with natural psyllium husk.
Also, how much bowel was removed? Does he suffer from short bowel syndrome? Dusty's daughter has had great success with natural psyllium husk.
How involved are his teachers in his care & needs? I found that a few in-depth emails to Rosalyn's teachers did wonders for their understanding and empathy for her needs.
Dex has a very good point about the bathrooms.. if he is given a hard time by one particular teacher (interesting that he gets to the same point in the day?? maybe it's a teacher he doesn't want to deal with?) who doesn't let him go as needed, or who makes a big deal in front of the class, he may just get embarrassed & want to go home.
After emailing my daughter's teachers & explaining the situation and dynamics, they have been so great. If she's gone for ten minutes in the bathroom, or they walk in and see her practicing backbends while she waits for "the moment" they are very understanding. And, she doesn't have to ask and go through the ordeal of getting a pass written out like other kids do, either.
Some counseling might be in order as well, if that isn't the issue. This is a big pill to swallow for a kid. He may have lost friends, or just be dealing with a lot in his head that he doesn't know how to express.
Dex has a very good point about the bathrooms.. if he is given a hard time by one particular teacher (interesting that he gets to the same point in the day?? maybe it's a teacher he doesn't want to deal with?) who doesn't let him go as needed, or who makes a big deal in front of the class, he may just get embarrassed & want to go home.
After emailing my daughter's teachers & explaining the situation and dynamics, they have been so great. If she's gone for ten minutes in the bathroom, or they walk in and see her practicing backbends while she waits for "the moment" they are very understanding. And, she doesn't have to ask and go through the ordeal of getting a pass written out like other kids do, either.
Some counseling might be in order as well, if that isn't the issue. This is a big pill to swallow for a kid. He may have lost friends, or just be dealing with a lot in his head that he doesn't know how to express.
Hi ... with low B12 levels and active disease, who could blame him for not feeling well enough to go to school. I hope the remicade helps!
Your school should be able to provide home instruction (5 main subjects) until your son feels better ... or they should be able to let your son go to just a few classes a day and get tutors for the main subjects he would be missing.
I understand your son seems much better on weekends, but that is normal. He is relaxed then, there is no time schedule to meet, etc. I am posting a link that contains a letter written to help people understand what it is like living with chronic pain. (it gets adapted for many chronic coniditions). I first read this years ago ... and the phrase about seeming 'happy' does not mean 'healthy' sticks with me. My son is always happy to see his cousins and extended family, and I always get the response ... 'Danny is doing better now?' and I always say, 'No, but he is happy to see you'.
http://www.thedailyheadache.com/200...-a-letter-to-people-without-chronic-pain.html
Your school should be able to provide home instruction (5 main subjects) until your son feels better ... or they should be able to let your son go to just a few classes a day and get tutors for the main subjects he would be missing.
I understand your son seems much better on weekends, but that is normal. He is relaxed then, there is no time schedule to meet, etc. I am posting a link that contains a letter written to help people understand what it is like living with chronic pain. (it gets adapted for many chronic coniditions). I first read this years ago ... and the phrase about seeming 'happy' does not mean 'healthy' sticks with me. My son is always happy to see his cousins and extended family, and I always get the response ... 'Danny is doing better now?' and I always say, 'No, but he is happy to see you'.
http://www.thedailyheadache.com/200...-a-letter-to-people-without-chronic-pain.html
DustyKat
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- May 8, 2010
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- 25,247
You have made the right move in scheduling a meeting. Try and ensure the Principal, school counsellor and his teachers are there, so maybe a lunchtime meeting?
I always had a very good rapport with the school and never had any issues with them. I kept them informed of what was happening and so on, very early on they gave her a key to a private bathroom. I thought they understood, I mean really understood but they didn't until it was her last year at school, which is a critical time for them exams wise. I had a meeting with everyone involved in her schooling, took along my report with copies for everyone and conducted the meeting myself. I gave explicit information about what Sarah had been and was currently going through how it affects her and what I expected from them and allowed plenty of time for questions. Perhaps I was naive but I was surprised at how little concept they truly had even though I thought I had kept in the loop over the years. Don't get me wrong, they were always on her side but they just didn't have that deeper appreciation of what she went through every blessed day. The meeting was the best thing I ever did!
Dusty. xxx
I always had a very good rapport with the school and never had any issues with them. I kept them informed of what was happening and so on, very early on they gave her a key to a private bathroom. I thought they understood, I mean really understood but they didn't until it was her last year at school, which is a critical time for them exams wise. I had a meeting with everyone involved in her schooling, took along my report with copies for everyone and conducted the meeting myself. I gave explicit information about what Sarah had been and was currently going through how it affects her and what I expected from them and allowed plenty of time for questions. Perhaps I was naive but I was surprised at how little concept they truly had even though I thought I had kept in the loop over the years. Don't get me wrong, they were always on her side but they just didn't have that deeper appreciation of what she went through every blessed day. The meeting was the best thing I ever did!
Dusty. xxx
Hey Mato!
I have really strong feelings about your question - so here we go: Home School him.
Don't stop reading!!
)
Your school is bound to have a program that is paid for BY the taxes YOU pay that cover this program. IT will not cost you a dime!
For info purposes: My son (who just turned 15) was diagnosed in April 2010 with Crohn's. The months prior to diagnoses he had missed a ton of school. He went into the hospital in April and didn't come out until the end of May. During that time he didn't receive any schooling. When he finally got home he was put on the Home and Hospital Program through the School district (hence after missing ALL of that school he was able to finish 7th grade at home in 6 weeks). He started 8th grade with the anticipation of staying the year, then he started missing a day here, two days there, and his grades started suffering. I spoke with his pediatrician and he approved him to come home again, he finished the year with all A's. This year for his freshman year he never stepped foot in the classroom and is currently taking all enrichment classes and has a 4.0gpa.
The biggest thing is no more stress for him. No more stress I believe has been instrumental in his health - his last blood work showed NO inflammation in his body (first time since he was diagnosed).
I think it's a great way to go. Your son has been dealing with a TON of new stuff. It's mentally and physically exhausting. If his energy is down, how will he learn in the classroom? You can go in and out of a Home and Hospital program without penalty.
Just keep him involved in other activities. IF he like sports, make sure he's playing somewhere (most programs CAN NOT keep him off HS teams just because he's on HHP), he can also with the approval of the school administration particpate in clubs.
My son is really involved with our church activities. He attends a morning bible study program with other kids from our church, plays ice hockey, attends dances, umpires youth baseball games through a local non-profit leauge (and gets paid - grins!).
My 2 cents) Okay, maybe it's a quarter )
Great information at: http://www.ccfa.org/kidsteens/?LMI=9 they have a 504 template you can use if your guidance counselor gives you a hard time. Chances are they won't. IF they do, let me know - I've heard a lot and have some good comebacks)
Good luck! Hope he feels better soon!
Shell
I have really strong feelings about your question - so here we go: Home School him.
Don't stop reading!!
)Your school is bound to have a program that is paid for BY the taxes YOU pay that cover this program. IT will not cost you a dime!
For info purposes: My son (who just turned 15) was diagnosed in April 2010 with Crohn's. The months prior to diagnoses he had missed a ton of school. He went into the hospital in April and didn't come out until the end of May. During that time he didn't receive any schooling. When he finally got home he was put on the Home and Hospital Program through the School district (hence after missing ALL of that school he was able to finish 7th grade at home in 6 weeks). He started 8th grade with the anticipation of staying the year, then he started missing a day here, two days there, and his grades started suffering. I spoke with his pediatrician and he approved him to come home again, he finished the year with all A's. This year for his freshman year he never stepped foot in the classroom and is currently taking all enrichment classes and has a 4.0gpa.
The biggest thing is no more stress for him. No more stress I believe has been instrumental in his health - his last blood work showed NO inflammation in his body (first time since he was diagnosed).
I think it's a great way to go. Your son has been dealing with a TON of new stuff. It's mentally and physically exhausting. If his energy is down, how will he learn in the classroom? You can go in and out of a Home and Hospital program without penalty.
Just keep him involved in other activities. IF he like sports, make sure he's playing somewhere (most programs CAN NOT keep him off HS teams just because he's on HHP), he can also with the approval of the school administration particpate in clubs.
My son is really involved with our church activities. He attends a morning bible study program with other kids from our church, plays ice hockey, attends dances, umpires youth baseball games through a local non-profit leauge (and gets paid - grins!).
My 2 cents
) Okay, maybe it's a quarter ) Great information at: http://www.ccfa.org/kidsteens/?LMI=9 they have a 504 template you can use if your guidance counselor gives you a hard time. Chances are they won't. IF they do, let me know - I've heard a lot and have some good comebacks
)Good luck! Hope he feels better soon!
Shell
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2012
- Messages
- 968
Violet has had to go on homebound instruction since Oct, with the stipulation that she is to be allowed to attend any day she feels up to it, be it one day per week or five, or a partial day.
It's a huge relief not to worry about getting so far behind they will never catch up.
All it took in our district was a letter from her physician and some forms he had to fill out. They've given me no hassle about it.
Do investigate this option. It really is a big stressor removed when school is not an issue.
It's a huge relief not to worry about getting so far behind they will never catch up.
All it took in our district was a letter from her physician and some forms he had to fill out. They've given me no hassle about it.
Do investigate this option. It really is a big stressor removed when school is not an issue.
When my son was diagnosed with Crohns last September, he was in Grade 11 and both he and I were stressed about how to keep up at school when he just wasn't able to attend. At first I kinda pushed him to go and get in as much time as he could but that wasn't working - he looked horrible on school days in particular... likely stressed. I figured that he would just lose his whole semester. But then I went in and talked to the guidance and student success teachers and they were amazingly accomodating. We figured out a plan so that he could stay at home all the time if he wanted and complete work at home. They organized an English course for him to do on his own schedule and teachers volunteered to tutor him, if needed, for math. When I told him that he no longer had to worry about attending school; what a difference in his whole demenor! I think it eliminated one stressor (which probably made his symptoms worse) and let him focus on getting better... he was much happier, more relaxed, open to treatment ideas and we all breathed a sigh of relief. And, once he was feeling better, he was the one pushing to go back to school.
He is a much better judge of his body than I am and when the decision for when to return to school was placed in his hands (and totally linked to how he was feeling rather than worrying about how much he was missing), he was very responsible about it.
He is a much better judge of his body than I am and when the decision for when to return to school was placed in his hands (and totally linked to how he was feeling rather than worrying about how much he was missing), he was very responsible about it.
I would second, or third, a meeting with all the teachers, nurse and couselor. Once they understand what is going on, they should be much more understanding with the situation. After the meeting I would suggest that you bring in your son and have the teachers speak with him. Let them tell him how they would like to handle any 'situations' that come up. Some will let him just slip out of class, others might want some type of signal. But that way he knows what to do and won't be afraid to leave. (Garrison had a real hard time 'breaking the rules' until the teachers spoke directly to him.)
Take care,
Vicky
Take care,
Vicky
