Giving up hope

[Em x]

Hi everyone,

I need to have a little vent and figured that you guys will probably know how im feeling....

Ive recently had results from MRI scan which came back as all clear. i know this is a good thing but i was kind of hoping they discovered i did have crohns so i would have some understanding of why my body is behaving like this... i now am awaiting a pill cam test but havent had an appointment through yet. i just feel like i have had so many tests done and have got nowhere.
ive been off work since april (had the worst flare up ever which lasted 4weeks) i was due to go back in two weeks time but have been flaring again since friday. i just dont know what to do, im now on another liquid diet and taking pentassa but still rushing to the loo frequently to pass really watery stools. im worring the flare up wont finish in the time im due to return to work. :-(

Sorry to moan but i feel so low and upset. im only 23 and missing out so much. since april ive spent most of the time stuck in the bathroom and have to keep declining offers to go out with friends. My partner is in the army and has been away for a few months so i just feel completely alone. Id do anything to just stop the D so i can have some fun and hang out with friends like 'normal' people do! :yfrown:

 

[ThatsWhatSheSaid]

What were they looking at in the MRI? All of your intestines? Just parts? Have you been checked for C. Diff or given antibiotics? You've probably had those suggestions before. Just thought it wouldn't hurt to throw it out there.

It can be so frustrating being young and swimming around in the misery of IBD. I was diagnosed at 18 (25 now) and I empathize. I can't imagine having your partner gone. Sometimes I think mine is the only things keeping me sane (that and my two dogs). I also feel extremely isolated. Even friends who I confide in and say that they understand, I know they just don't get it even though they want to. I am always saying no to meeting up and going out because I am so run down (partially my fault, I work a full time job and a part time job to pay medical bills...and babysit on the side).

I actually recently started to get tired of hearing myself say that I am not feeling well or I am in pain. Like, I almost want to make up different reasons why I can't go somewhere because it just sounds like a broken record even to me. Sometimes I just pretend that I am fine because I don't have any new updates (ie, how are you feeling? The same.)Truthfully, it makes me feel terrible and like a big bother to my friends and fiance. I know that attitude won't get me anywhere that I would like to go though. But it is even worse if you don't have an outlet for those feelings. So....Vent away lady!!

Oh, and maybe get a dog? Dogs are wonderful. They make me feel famous they are always so happy to see me.

 

[skippy111]

HI Em,

Did they do a colonoscopy?

I sorry to hear you are going through this, especially at your age... it is better to detect whatever it is early rather than later on.

Being queen is wonderful, but when your throne is made of porcelin and has water that you flush is not the ideal type of royalty, lol
(sorry, just trying to make you smile)

You have a great support group here 24/7

ask, enjoy, learn..

 

[Em x]

Haha thanks skippy111 that did make me smile! yeah ive had 2 colonoscopy's. the last colonoscopy i had they diagnosed ulcerative colitis but my GI is still looking for crohns.
the support on this site is great, its nice to know im not alone! x

 

[ThatsWhatSheSaid]

Well, it was partially in jest as dogs require a lot of energy so if you're extremely ill, it probably wouldn't be a great idea unless someone else can care for the dog when you're sick. However, a lot of studies show increased quality of life, better health and longer life with a pet companion especially for people with chronic diseases. Probably because they can't talk and don't judge you, they only know how to love unconditionally. So it is probably what they provide for you mentally and emotionally that helps. Plus, they force you to exercise, even a little, every day which is good for everyone's health.

But anyway, don't you feel like you're letting people down when you don't have something better to report? That you're feeling better or something? Everyone is always like, Oh, I'm sorry. And then there is nothing to say because it has all been said before.

 

[Manzyb]

Hi Em,

I'm so sorry that you are giong through this right now. I can completely sympathize with you in a number of ways! I was diagnosed at 15, and being so young it took a couple of years to finally get diagnosed. I was at such a low point when I finally got diagnosed, that having the diagnosis finally relieved so much of that burden. It sucks being so young and missing out on everything that you want to be doing.

Also, my husband is in the Marine corps and when he was deployed, I ended up having the worst flare ever. I ended up losing 40lbs and was hospitalized. It was really rough. I was away from home in the middle of the desert in California, husband deployed, and felt so alone. I really do feel for you, its hard enough going through deployments and things like that when you're healthy, and then to add on being sick on top of that. UGH!

I really hope that you get some answers when you have your pill cam done.

Have you tried anything for the diarrhea like psyllium husks or anything like that? They can really help slowing down the diarrhea and bulking it up.

I really hope that you get to feeling better soon and can get back to work!! Hang in there!

 

[Em x]

Hi Manzyb,
sorry for delayed repsonse! I have just bought some psyllium husk so hopefully that may help. Thanks for the support. Hope you're well. I'm still awaiting an appointment for the pill cam but hopefully it wont be too long! My partner came home yesterday and is off work for a couple of weeks. yay! Fingers crossed my tummy settles down so we can spend some time together!
xx

 

[Raleigh]

I agree with the dog idea. I have a French Bulldog who never fails to make me happy when I'm stressed and feel terrible. We also have 2 Great Danes, but that's another story all together.

 

[Manzyb]

I'm glad he's home!! Sending warm wishes to you that you can enjoy him being home! That was the best feeling when the hubby finally came home from being deployed.