Going away with school

[CDJ]

My son is due to go away with his school tomorrow [ unearthly time of 1.30 in the morning ] to France for one week. He has been looking forward to this for months. He is at the healthiest he has been in a long time and I have no major worries , apart from the normal ones, of him being away.

This weekend though he is getting more and more worried about going. He has almost stopped eating as he doesn't want to eat anything that may upset his stomach. If he does eat, it is very little as he doesn't want to make himself sick, even though what I am giving him he often eats with no problems.
I had promised him toad in the hole tonight, a real favourite, and he now says he doesn't want that in case that makes him ill and will only have pasta as he knows this is okay.
I am now worried that he is going to spend the next week not eating while he is away.

I have spoken to him about this and he says it is because he is going to be a long way away. His last residential school trip was only 2 hours away, and obviously much easier to get home if there was a problem. He is worried about how he will get home if he becomes ill when in France.
His school have gone out of their way to make sure plans are in place for him, he has a dedicated teacher taking care of all his medications. I have even added Imodium and anti nausea tablets just in case. But he is still worried.

How can I spend the next 11 hours reassuring him that he will be okay? I am now worried about him being worried :confused2: I have asked him if he still wants to go, and he says he does.

 

[SupportiveMom]

Big hugs! It must be scary worrying about what might happen. I can understand why he is anxious. Try your best to distract him to get some of his mind off of it. Hopefully it will work for the best. I hope he has a great time and you don't get to anxious about him away too!

 

[greypup]

Can you give him access to Skype or a cell phone so he can talk to you for reassurance?

 

[Jane and Nick]

Hi CDJ,
I know exactly how you both feel. Nick just returned from his school trip. 7 hours on a coach then a 2 hour ferry trip to a Malasian island with no clinic. I spent 5 days in a state of anxiety. I got several tearful phone calls from a very home sick little boy, but he made it through and enjoyed himself. He also ate very little, the menu was limited any way but he chose to eat mainly plain rice and water melon for most of the trip. His stomach issues were not a problem, infact they were excellent. I have threatened to feed him rice and watermelon for ever. I think that our children just learn to manage and if he feels more comfortable limiting his diet for a week he will be just fine and if that gives him a sence of control then that is good. Can you give him some snacks to take with him that he can fall back on if he needs them ?
It's so hard to see them have to alter there day to day life while others don't seem to have a care in the world. I hope he has the most wonderful time. I am sure you will find a way of getting to him if he needs you, but I am sure it won't come to that.
Good luck.

 

[CDJ]

Jane and Nick, it is good to hear of someone who has recently been through similar with school trips --- Nick's sounds far more exotic though Josh will have 6 hours on a coach and 6 hours on a ferry, so a long time to be travelling.
Josh is taking his mobile phone with him so he knows he can contact me at any time. It would also be easy enough for me to get a flight to him if necessary -- though I don't think that will happen. He also has some snacks packed into his bag so at least he knows there are things there that are "safe" to eat.

It is hard watching him worry about eating and the affect it could have. I can't imagine there are many 13 yr olds that even think about what they are eating.

 

[Precious ones]

Hi CDJ - I hope the trip goes well for him. It's such a worry as it is on their first long trips away without this disease added on. My son is 12 and is supposed to go on his trip to Italy in 3 weeks time, although not diagnosed yet (still waiting for referral to consultant), he has been feeling extremely tired, continual night sweats, eye inflammation, not grown properly for 2 years but no abdominal issues as yet, he is worried about being away too. His brother has recently been diagnosed as severe crohns and the elder one is just following the same course, which feels totally shocking to have two at exactly the same time. It will be so nice to hear that your son gets to enjoy his holiday so I can give my son some confidence too.

 

[Pink]

Hi CDJ,
I think that supporting your son to have as much normalcy as possible is the way to go. This does not mean you won't worry, but letting him know as you have been doing that he is in good hands and that you are a phone call away shows him that he can do " normal things" and be ok. He is anxious, but as he settles into his routine, he will adjust and this will build his own self confidence!! Good luck!! I hope he comes back with great stories!!

 

[Sascot]

Hope he has a great time! It's not something we've had to deal with yet.

 

[DustyKat]

Both of my kids have taken week long trips, or longer, when they were at school and were quite some distance away. The farthest being New Zealand.

My son has never had issues eating but then he had the advantage of being able to control his bowel habits better thanks to Sarah’s experience and knowledge. Having said that he did skip meals and I had to accept that was going to be a part of his going away and knowing he would be able to cope with it.

And so to Sarah. For the last three years she was at school she had not come to terms with her diagnosis or the legacy that surgery had left her with. She was still at a point where her day was planned around eating and this mean’t that some days she ate very little at all. I know she longed to go away on school excursions so the only way that we both had peace of mind was to sit down with her and go through what foods caused the least toilet trips and stick with those where possible. I knew full well that she would not eat anywhere near like she did at home but it had to be a compromise so she could feel comfortable going and I knew that she had a level of control without starving herself.

Focus on reassuring him that he is sensible and he knows what he can eat. Tell him it is no big deal if he skips a meal here and there and to fall back to his snacks if he isn’t sure. When it comes to not being well then let him know you can be on a plane and there in no time at all and once you are there all will be well. Reassure him that the teachers have his back and won’t allow things to get out of hand.

I have no doubt you are doing this already so just keep doing what you are mum. :ghug:

I so hope your lad has a brilliant time and as we know, it is often the getting there that is hardest but once there things will fall into place. Good luck!

Dusty. xxx

 

[Jmrogers4]

We haven't dealt with any big long trips for Jack but I know my husband just a few years after diagnosis we went to Europe for 6 weeks and I know he was very careful about what he ate only eating food he knew was safe for him and still is for any trips we take. I think he just falls into safety zone for trips. Back at that time (it was a long time ago) he also took a prescription for prednisone just in case, never had to use it but it made him feel better.
What a fun trip for him though.

 

[Jane and Nick]

Hi CDJ,
How's he doing ? Hope he is having a fantastic time. Is he home tomorrow ? I am sure you will be much relieved to have your boy back.

 

[CDJ]

Josh got back in the early hours of this morning, and has slept straight for 10 hours! He had a brilliant time, though totally exhausted now. I think he will spend the next couple if days catching up on much needed sleep.
Meals this week seemed to have consistered of rice, pasta and bread, lots of bread :ylol2: I think it was just his way of making sure he stayed okay.

He has loved the whole week. I am so pleased he had a good time, it is so important that he feels he can be "normal", the same as everyone else.

 

[greypup]

Excellent! He faced his fear and WON!!!! That will go a long way!!!!

 

[Susan2]

I don't have children with Crohn's but I do a lot of travelling myself and I think that your son has managed wonderfully. Pasta, rice and bread are often my staples when I am away - a few weeks without vegetables never hurt anyone! The confidence and feeling of achievement that he must have will far outweigh the effects of an unbalanced diet.

 

[Jmrogers4]

So glad he had a fantastic time and a great confidence builder. He went and did great

 

[Farmwife]

Wonderful, it's so important that he prove to himself that he can do it and I'm so glad he had a great time. You should be one proud mama.