Has crohn's disease made you into a good liar?

[kiny]

Crohn's disease turned me into an excellent liar.

The first few times when people asked me why I wasn't eating with them or why I ran to the bathroom so much I explained it:

"Well I have this disease called crohn's disease, it involves the intestine and I try to watch what I eat."

Usually the reply is something like:

"Is it infectious?"

"Oh I know someone who had it, he died though"

"Well you look fine to me"

At first I wanted to spread the word and I still do, I try to tell people about it, but I know some people don't care, they're not intersted, it's one ear in one ear out, and frankly I just lie to them, I say I have a tummy ache or something or that I already ate because I can't be bothered to explain it every 5 minutes.

Do you lie or has crohn's disease made you into a better liar?

 

[Polaris]

Definitely. I get the same responses, and the more you try and explain the disease, the more confused they get. Especially when you look "fine". they can't comprehend that anything can still be wrong. So now I keep it simple.

Does anyone also try to "prove" they're sick? For example, if I'm out with family or friends, I'll eat very little, or will order something extremely healthy in their eyes so that I won't have to explain that yes, I do have crohn's, but on the rare occasion I can eat a burrito or pasta, or whatever it is, etc. I get a lot of, "Should you be eating that?" It drives me crazy.

 

[Beebop]

My father once said to my sister "If you get crohn's disease you can eat what you want!" At the time I was on prednisone and was for the first time in 18 months able to eat without pain and blood. Its not that he didn't love me or care it's just he doesn't get it! I have got really good at hiding being sick... I worry that people will get sick of hearing about the bad days so unless it's really bad I don't mention it. My boyfriend struggles and I hid lots of it from him at first. Lots of things were just embarassing and I didnt want him knowing earlier in the relationship... He too struggles with the whole "but you dont look sick". People understand specific diets a lot more than just saying I have crohn's disease. At the moment I am gluten free and people are so much more accepting of this and a lot of them dont even ask for an explanation why.

 

[KWalker]

Yeah, I think for me its about lying/hiding the disease. A lot of people say we should be open and share our experiences with crohns to spread the word about it...but I'll let other people do that lol.

I have family members that don't even know I have crohns. After I moved away for school,(where I am) only fiancee, and two of her closest friends know about it because they are the type of people that I could tell knowing I could trust them, and after they share stories about themselves.

For people that don't know about it, (before I started my diet) I would eat some pretty unhealthy things and people were always like "omg you're so lucky! If I were to eat that I'd turn into a beached whale". I'm thinking in my head, wanna trade? I get A LOT of people telling me I'm "lucky" that I can eat as much as I want and not gain weight but its one of the worst things for me, knowing I'll probably never be much more than a skinny guy.

 

[rollinstone]

Dunno if it's a made me a better liar, I don't even tell people I have it, I use my vaporizer and when people ask me I am, if iv self medicated for the morning I usually respond with "good". It does get frustrating though, deciding whether or not to explain to someone.

 

[UnXmas]

I never talk about diarrhoea except with my doctors and family. I feel like other people would be a bit disgusted. When I was at uni, one of my lecturers (who knew I would sometimes leave the room for a "medical problem") asked if I leave to go and have a rest. I let her think this was the reason rather than say actually I'm leaving because I urgently need the loo.

I do tell people that it's because of digestive problems that I don't eat sometimes and never eat much when eating socially because otherwise they assume I'm anorexic. Although I still let them think it's the more acceptable symptoms of tummy pain or fullness (which I get too) and leave out that eating will trigger diarrhoea which is why I'm going to wait 'til I'mat home to eat.

I'm not sure if Crohn's has made me a good lier, but it has led to me telling some lies.

 

[Susan2]

It wasn't so much being a good liar, but when my Crohn's was very bad and I weighed 40kg (88lbs/a bit over 6 stone and I am 5'6") and people use to say "Aren't you lucky to be able to eat all that and not put on weight!", I just used to agree with them.

 

[StaceyQ]

i do get fed up of people sayin gbut u look fine, i feel like saying well look inside and then tell me i look fine.

Just because i lead a normal life in there eyes dosnt mean i do. I struggle every day to do what i do i,.e work full time, take my kids out places.

They dont see what happens in home and yes most of the time i do lie about why i dont eat certain things or why i cant do that because i am so exhausted from working all week. My closest friends know and understand as they have seen me at my worse when i have been in hospital but i have lost alot of friends through it. mainy because they are too selfish and dont understand.

With the eating and not putting on weight i have alsoways been the same so used to it now x

 

[Devynnsmom]

My 11 year old daughter has UC. I usually try to explain her disease to people. But people usually confuse it with IBS. "Oh yeah, I know so and so has irritable bowel.. they just watch what they eat" I have also heard, "Oh.. I knew someone who had that and died" Which can be VERY traumatizing for a child. I think she hides it, because she knows most people just don't get it. My daughter has always been tiny, and we get a lot of "Does she ever eat?" OMG this child can eat more than my 18 year old son! AND she eats healthy. She's not real big on junk food and crap. She eats very good, and often.

 

[2thFairy]

Yeah, the IBS response is the reason I don't talk about it. Either people think you have IBS or they think THEIR IBS is the same as Crohn's/UC. Arrgh!

I wouldn't say that I necessary lie about it; I just don't offer information about my health.

 

[UnXmas]

Yeah, the IBS response is the reason I don't talk about it. Either people think you have IBS or they think THEIR IBS is the same as Crohn's/UC. Arrgh!

I wouldn't say that I necessary lie about it; I just don't offer information about my health.

There are probably quite a few people with IBD who have been told they have IBS by their doctors. So they might have just as many problems as people who have been diagnosed with IBD.

But I have also met people who claim they are living with some serious chronic illness and who say they know what it's like to be ill... and then I discover they are working full time in an active job, playing sports, raising kids, etc. etc. and I wonder what their definition of serious illness is. That usually leads me not to lie necessarily but to giving up trying to convey what my illness is like.

 

[Beach]

Yeah, it can be an odd situation talking with others that I just met about the IBD. I undoubtably have the appearance of a deer in the headlights when those times come up. I typically avoid talking about the physical part of the condition. It seems when I do, all to often I start receiving what I jokingly call, great grandma health care remedies. They are given with best intentions I'm sure, just some of them can come off as odd to me. Recall one remedy given not long ago was that I should do some stomach crunch exercises. She went on to demonstrate for me how the exercise was done, jumping onto the floor and doing a few crunches - to be done to help strengthen my weak stomach. Yeah, ok, thanks. Think that one would keep me lock up in the bathroom for the day, cursing your name the whole time, but appreciate the demonstration!

The psychological part of being fatigued, tired, moody at times I might bring up with a mention of having a gut condition that can really wear me out.

 

[Miss Underestimated]

@Devynnsmom What a dollbaby you have! She's beautiful.

I guess I'm blessed to be so old I no longer care what people think. I tell everyone I have Crohn's disease and give a general description like "it's a digestive disease." I don't go into details unless they ask detailed questions.

Don't worry, in time, you'll all get over worrying about other peoples' opinions, and you'll find out who your real friends are. Usually someone else with a digestive disease will be more understanding. I have one friend who is gluten intolerant - right after she was diagnosed, she became much more supportive and understanding, and I was supportive and understanding of her problems. Like, I eat her bread when we go out, and she eats my veggies.

 

[Devynnsmom]

Thank you Miss Underestimated I think she's a keeper

 

[tots]

Well, since this flare started , I find myself being more upfront with it . I have found some pretty amazing people with Crohns.

Lauren

 

[SamJorgoyne]

I had a close friend that told me that it was all in my head, just after I was diagnosed. Now we dont hang out that much. Or people that say, "why are you eating that! its gonna kill you. Eat a salad!...."

 

[xSophiexx]

Good thread kiny
the only thing i 'lie' about this is the big D. if i go toilet for a while at work and someone says oh are u okay i generally go for 'yeh just feeling sick'.
Complete lie really i was running around trying to find an empty toilet LOL

 

[Cat-a-Tonic]

I find that for the most part I don't need to lie. Most of my friends & co-workers know that I have an illness and that certain foods are problematic, etc, and they try to be really accommodating. So I don't have to make up excuses for the most part. I do however say I'm "fine" when people ask me how I'm doing - even if "horrendous" is the real answer. When I flare, the weight falls off of me and my face goes very pale, so I feel like those close to me should be able to tell when I'm having a really bad time. And even my co-workers have commented - several people noted in the past how pale I was and how poorly I must be feeling, and another co-worker noted more recently that the color has come back to my face and I've regained my weight and I look so much better than I did. That was nice to hear! So yeah, I don't have to lie much to the people who know me. Just the occasional small fib is more like it. That's okay because I sometimes fib to myself too: "I can eat this salad, it probably won't cause trouble."

 

[palwe]

Definitely. I get the same responses, and the more you try and explain the disease, the more confused they get. Especially when you look "fine". they can't comprehend that anything can still be wrong. So now I keep it simple.

Does anyone also try to "prove" they're sick? For example, if I'm out with family or friends, I'll eat very little, or will order something extremely healthy in their eyes so that I won't have to explain that yes, I do have crohn's, but on the rare occasion I can eat a burrito or pasta, or whatever it is, etc. I get a lot of, "Should you be eating that?" It drives me crazy.

this.

i cant be bothered explaining so i lie. unless its work and now i play on it. because thats the only perk i have and i feel great using it. i will abuse it as much as i can and want to.

but to answer your question, it hasnt made me a good liar directly. indirectly ive become negative and cynical. im very smart, and this disease has just made me very unforgiving, calculative etc. i try and get the best out of life by any means.

 

[Laura Dawn]

It depends on who it is I suppose. If I'm eating dinner at someone's house or in a group and I'm unable to eat, I just tell them. I feel like they don't understand it though, so it makes it worse. Still sorting it out.

 

[CrohnsChicago]

Well just had a situation. I think I am starting a flare and didn't feel well so I called off work yesterday and simply said I didn't feel well (not "I can't move from by the toilet or I have unbelievable gut cramps right now").

When I went back to work today the two people I rarely talked to asked how I was doing and what was wrong with me. I simply said "Its a personal condition that aggravates me now and then, but I'm ok right now thanks". They weren't satisfied (even looked a bit confused) by my answer, but it was sufficient enough for them to walk away and not ask anymore questions. (the one person in my office who DOES know about my crohn's was kind and came over quietly and asked me how i was feeling).

I'm not good at lying about my crohn's....I have no game face so if I don't feel well, it shows. But I do my best to try and brush off peoples questions without coming off as a b-word lol.

 

[Absentminded]

If anything I'm the complete opposite, I am more than happy to tell people that I have Crohn's and to explain what it is.
I'm totally upfront with my work, I have to be because of all the time off I've had (due to surgery, my infliximab infusions and hospital appointments) also because they've made adjustments for me in my job.
Because I'm so open about my illness, I find that a lot of people talk to me about their problems, and I'm more than happy to try and help them. I've become the kind of "go to" person at my work.
I'm not ashamed in any way of having crohn's, in some ways I'm proud as it has made me the strong person that I am now.

P.s. I was misdiagnosed with IBS for five years before being told that I have crohn's and during that time was guilty of telling a friend at Uni who had UC that I kinda knew how they felt because of my IBS.....(I can imagine what they thought about me saying that!) But because of that, I never feel like my symptoms are being underestimated if someone says they understand because of their IBS.

 

[robbo87]

It has turned me into a liar in some respects, more so in social situations where when I'm not feeling upto it. Rather than telling them I'm not feeling well and having to explain myself I'll just make some other reason up.

I don't lie about my illness really, If someone seems genuinely bothered or interested then I've no qualms about explaining it. Although as far as my ostomy is concerned I'm a bit more careful who I tell about that.


It would be nice if there was more awareness about IBD. It would save so many sufferer's having to try and explain what is such a taboo subject.

 

[pottydweller]

If people are rude enough to ask questions about my health I very politely go into graphic detail and watch them back away real quick incase they catch it. I've even said I was abducted by aliens and they left a tracking device that keeps going a bit dodgy. Then they back up because i 'm mental. That's the way I get some enjoyment out of this rather trying experience. It has taken a bit of a journey to find humour in what is going on though'