I'm sure the doctors (not to mention everyone else) do downplay how ill we are - that's one of the unfortunate things about having an invisible illness, is that we don't look sick (or we don't look as sick as we feel, like sometimes I'm pretty pale but that's just the tip of the iceberg in terms of how crummy I'm actually feeling).
My issue lately is that I keep passing blood in my stool which has thrown my bloodwork out of whack and I need to have iron infusions and the fatigue has been just horrendous lately. It is terrifying to see large amounts of blood in the toilet when I know I already need every drop of blood that I have, it's crushing to lose more on top of what I've already lost. I don't feel like I'm dying per se, but I'm just sort of existing right now, surviving I guess would be the word for it. Somewhere in between fully living and actively dying, just sort of holding on.