- Joined
- Jul 14, 2013
- Messages
- 2
This might be a long rant, but I really need to just get it all out there, somewhere.
My boyfriend had his first symptoms of Crohn's disease in 1999 and was first diagnosed in 2005.
I met him in 2010 after having chatted online for over a year.
I had never even heard of Crohn's disease before that, and I remember he was quite emberassed trying to tell me during that first visit that he had to go for the 6th time. I had googled Crohn's disease and he had told me everything previously, and although I was a bit baffled that it was indeed that severe, I sat him down and told him that it didn't matter in the slighest. I was honestly not bothered about the frequent trips to the toilet, his careful selection of what to eat and what to not eat and him sometimes having to cancel plans because of discomfort and pain.
I'm Norwegian and my boyfriend is English, so after an excruciating period of maintaining a long-distance relationship, I decided to go back to school. And it made sense to me to do it in England.
We moved in together and are very happy.
His Crohn's disease has not been managable at all this past year. He had a right hemicolectomy in 2006 and is now suffering through a slight stricture and a new inflammation. He will get bad cramps, get blocked up (no bowel movements) and then proceed to have severe cramps, vomit and pretty much lay flat and try to sleep as much as possible until he stops vomitting and starts running to the toilet until he's too sore to even sit down.
After a extra couple of days of being sore and frequent toilet trips, he'll return to normal.
He was hospitalised not too long ago due to severe cramping and his general condition being very, very poor. When he gets blocked up, he'll have a 'detox day', pretty much not eating and barely drinking as well (despite doctors advice to keep drinking, it only makes him worse at this point).
The cramping gets really bad and I just never know what to do. I fetch him meds, I fluff pillows and try to make him as comfortable as he can be.
I soothe his hair, stroke his back if he's throwing up, empty sick buckets and generally just try to well... Just be there.
Right at this moment we're on holiday back in Norway to see my family and although he hasn't eaten anything that would normally set him off, the amount is probably too much. He usually eats very light small meals, and the huge family meals this past week got the best of him.
These are the moments I just feel totally helpless.
He's cramping very badly, but I'm not totally sure it's just a blockage. I've gotten used to 'diagnosing' his uhm, episodes? And when he gets a blockage his belly bloats and is rock hard on the right side. He has no bowel movements, cramps and not long after his breath smells of bile and unless the blockage clears he'll proceed to start throwing up.
But this time he's had a bowel movement not too long ago, his breath is normal and although he's warm to the touch he's not feverishly hot.
I start worrying if it's another bout of bad crohn's or could it be something else? Perforation? Stricture gotten worse?
His moans and gasps of pain are only drowned out by the rumbling of his belly and I'm just sat here.
"You'll tell me if it gets worse? You'll tell me if you need to go to hospital?"
Yeah, I'm real usefull.
There's nothing I can do to soothe the pain, I certainly can't fix him and although we both think he should have watched his meals a bit more, there's nothing I can do about it now. I don't nag him about what to eat and not, he knows his body and will manage himself. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes and it's not his fault for wanting an extra meatball when he's on holiday.
It's just unfair. He is by far the kindest person I have ever met and I can't even make him feel better.
His codine only makes the blockage worse, Buscopan does nothing for him and although mebeverine calms it down a notch, I can't do anything but fetch it for him.
He says I take care of him and I do try, but I feel so helpless.
It comes to a point where all I can do is let him rest and ride it out, but... I'm so worried for him.
What if, maybe if, could I maybe, would it help if...
My boyfriend had his first symptoms of Crohn's disease in 1999 and was first diagnosed in 2005.
I met him in 2010 after having chatted online for over a year.
I had never even heard of Crohn's disease before that, and I remember he was quite emberassed trying to tell me during that first visit that he had to go for the 6th time. I had googled Crohn's disease and he had told me everything previously, and although I was a bit baffled that it was indeed that severe, I sat him down and told him that it didn't matter in the slighest. I was honestly not bothered about the frequent trips to the toilet, his careful selection of what to eat and what to not eat and him sometimes having to cancel plans because of discomfort and pain.
I'm Norwegian and my boyfriend is English, so after an excruciating period of maintaining a long-distance relationship, I decided to go back to school. And it made sense to me to do it in England.
We moved in together and are very happy.
His Crohn's disease has not been managable at all this past year. He had a right hemicolectomy in 2006 and is now suffering through a slight stricture and a new inflammation. He will get bad cramps, get blocked up (no bowel movements) and then proceed to have severe cramps, vomit and pretty much lay flat and try to sleep as much as possible until he stops vomitting and starts running to the toilet until he's too sore to even sit down.
After a extra couple of days of being sore and frequent toilet trips, he'll return to normal.
He was hospitalised not too long ago due to severe cramping and his general condition being very, very poor. When he gets blocked up, he'll have a 'detox day', pretty much not eating and barely drinking as well (despite doctors advice to keep drinking, it only makes him worse at this point).
The cramping gets really bad and I just never know what to do. I fetch him meds, I fluff pillows and try to make him as comfortable as he can be.
I soothe his hair, stroke his back if he's throwing up, empty sick buckets and generally just try to well... Just be there.
Right at this moment we're on holiday back in Norway to see my family and although he hasn't eaten anything that would normally set him off, the amount is probably too much. He usually eats very light small meals, and the huge family meals this past week got the best of him.
These are the moments I just feel totally helpless.
He's cramping very badly, but I'm not totally sure it's just a blockage. I've gotten used to 'diagnosing' his uhm, episodes? And when he gets a blockage his belly bloats and is rock hard on the right side. He has no bowel movements, cramps and not long after his breath smells of bile and unless the blockage clears he'll proceed to start throwing up.
But this time he's had a bowel movement not too long ago, his breath is normal and although he's warm to the touch he's not feverishly hot.
I start worrying if it's another bout of bad crohn's or could it be something else? Perforation? Stricture gotten worse?
His moans and gasps of pain are only drowned out by the rumbling of his belly and I'm just sat here.
"You'll tell me if it gets worse? You'll tell me if you need to go to hospital?"
Yeah, I'm real usefull.
There's nothing I can do to soothe the pain, I certainly can't fix him and although we both think he should have watched his meals a bit more, there's nothing I can do about it now. I don't nag him about what to eat and not, he knows his body and will manage himself. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes and it's not his fault for wanting an extra meatball when he's on holiday.
It's just unfair. He is by far the kindest person I have ever met and I can't even make him feel better.
His codine only makes the blockage worse, Buscopan does nothing for him and although mebeverine calms it down a notch, I can't do anything but fetch it for him.
He says I take care of him and I do try, but I feel so helpless.
It comes to a point where all I can do is let him rest and ride it out, but... I'm so worried for him.
What if, maybe if, could I maybe, would it help if...
