Hey guys:Story of my life

[Jeff D.]

Hey guys I have been going through therapy the past few weeks and I was diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder. I'm still not much better with thoughts of suicide and harming myself and I'm still majorly down in the dumps. Last week my pschologist referred me to a psychiatrist and he says he has reason to believe that I am Bipolar. It's come a bit of a shock to me although I have thought for a while and I have talked with some of ya'll my thoughts on the issue but now that it is in serious consideration I'm very freaked out. Starting tonight I'm going to be taking Lamictal which over the next six weeks should start to help me. If any of ya'll are on it let me know. I'm having some trouble coping with this but I'm fine. I haven't checked in with ya'll in a while and I wanted to let ya'll know what's going on.

Talk to ya'll later

Jeff

 

[Procyon]

Hang in there, man. The whole psychological aspect of this crap really is half the battle. I hope the the Lamictal does something good for ya.

 

[Jeff D.]

Thanks guys. I can't wait for another six more weeks so I can have some relief.

 

[fenway1971]

Hey Jeff -
Hang in there, man. This disease is tough. I don't know what to say to help other than I hope the meds work for you. But, just know you've got folks who care about you here.

 

[JillianB82]

Jeff,

Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time right now! I have a very close friend who is Bipolar & for a long time she was in a dark place. The Dr was finally able to get the right med combo for her & she said she has never felt so great. Just try to keep looking up & know that you are surrounded by those who care for you!

 

[Jeff D.]

Thanks guys for the support. I can't wait to get this crap under control.

 

[Jeff D.]

If anyone has bipolar disorder can tell me more about it and living with it in a pm I would be very greatful. I have been looking up the info on the internet and I honestly don't think I am bipolar based on the criteria set there. I think I have depression but I don't even have all the symptoms of that. I'm very confused right now and wondering if I should just quit taking my medicine. I'm calling my psychologist tomorrow and I am not going to take my med until I hear from him.

 

[BWS1982]

I hope I have/can assist you with any opinions or insight to my own "experiences" with such "issues". Hope the PM's can help, it sometimes seems even more mysterious than Crohns when it comes to defining the qualities of anything psychological. The doctors cannot put a pill cam in your ear or scope your nasal passage to look inside your mind, though, in reality, visible evidence of psychological disorders exists with the right tools, it's just not the same.

I just always try to remember it's a matter of relativity. If something's not in your control, realize it, and if something is and you're doing all you can, anxiety won't aid you any further. Easier said than done, and on paper it sounds like I'm asking you to flip a switch. The heat of the moments are different, but everyone who prevails seems to utilize some support system, of which you have several I'm sure.

Right now as you read this and I type this, we are moving at about 1000 miles an hour along with the Earth as it rotates. It doesn't seem like it because of perspective. Perspective is what helps me the most, mind over matter sounds cliche but when you take a step back and look at things rationally and it helps, cliche is tolerable.

 

[Jeff D.]

Thanks Benson for answering my questions, it helped a lot. Thanks again

 

[D Bergy]

Hey Jeff.

Sorry things are so rough right now.

Do not suddenly go off of your Lamictal. Like many drugs prescribed by Psychiatrists, you need to slowly wean yourself off of this drug. If you do not, you risk seizures and a host of other nasty problems. Even slowly weaning your self off can be hell.

Your diagnosis could be wrong, and it may be right, but I would ask why he thinks you are Bipolar. Get a second opinion from a psychologist if you need to.

Psychiatrists are able to prescribe drugs and too often they feel a drug can help each and every problem they come across. This simply is not the case. It may help you, but it never hurts to get a second opinion from someone who does not prescribe drugs.

The Mental Health specialty has far less evidence of effectiveness for the drugs they prescribe than any other specialty period. That does not mean your doctor is wrong, but it does mean you have to look at everything with a little skepticism because much of it is unproven. A second opinion from a professional may be useful.

Dan

 

[Jeff D.]

I only took one dose of the lamictal so it's okay to stop taking it because it's the lowest dose you can take. My psychologist diagnosed me with major depression and after 20 minutes the psychiatrist says he thinks I'm bipolar. I called my cousin who is a psychiatrist in Colorado at a prison and by my symptoms she doesn't think I'm bipolar. She told me not to go back to that guy and to get a letter from my psychologist to give to my GP for some antidepressants. So tonight I'm quitting the lamictal and will go to my GP another day to get this all figures out.

Thanks guys for all the support

 

[soupdragon69]

Hey Jeff,

Seeking help in this area can be a difficult thing to do as an individual and takes courage when so many people today fear the unknown and turn away from those who are suffering to such a depth.

I want to commend you Jeff (not intending to sound patronising in any way) for taking this step, recognising you need the help and asking for it!

That, as in all things, is 50% of the battle as you know. Having suffered severe depression when I was in my early 20's I can understand the "mental fog" that is hard to see through and work out the best direction to go in.

Gather the info you need to help you make informed decisions as you are doing and continuing to do.

Take it one day at a time, or hour by hour, as you need to.

Know we are with you each step of the way.

Keep in mind no matter how deep the feelings run for you they will improve.

ALLOW yourself time to heal - thats the most important thing Jeff. It takes as long as you need to recover be it weeks, months or longer.

Thinking of you ((hugs))

 

[Jeff D.]

Thanks guys for all of the support. I'm going to try and keep ya'll updated on me and how things go. I quit the lamictal and will not go back on it unless I absolutely need to. I'm going to try and get on antidepressants next week and see how that works for me. I'm just sick of feeling like crap and I think I deserve to feel good after 10 years of being depressed, that's half of my life.

 

[drew_wymore]

My mom has major bi-polar disorder and it took damn near 10 years to get her a proper diagnosis but this was back in the late 80's early 90's before there wasn't such a stigma attached to it. She herself is on Lamictal. I didn't see if you posted a reason why you stopped it though. Feel free to PM me if you have questions. I've been through the whole ride with her and been to seminars and classes and all kinds of stuff on it to try and help her.

Lithium might be an alternative if you're open to it as Lamictal is just Lithium ++ ..

Again good luck and stay strong and let me know if you have any questions.

 

[Jeff D.]

My cousin who is a psychiatrist told me that it wouldn't hurt me to stop or to keep taking it and everyone was worried about me taking it so I stopped. My cousin wants me to get on an antidepressant because she feels very much that I have depression and she said that a doc can't diagnose me in 15 minutes, I talked to her for about a half hour about my symptoms and to her she didn't see enough evidence for bipolar disorder. She said that the only reason the doc thought I could be bipolar was because when I was on celexa I went into a manic period but that was caused by medication. I didn't really like my doc because he was Indian and I coldn't understand him very well so he would ask my a question sometimes and I would be like yeah sure or something of that nature. I didn't always know what he was asking me and when I tried to tell him what's going on he just kind of shrugged me off and asked me another question when I was never finished with what I was saying. All in all I don't trust the guy so I'm doing what my cousin told me to do.

Thanks for the help and support everyone

 

[D Bergy]

I have read hundreds of your posts, and I have seen no indication that you are bipolar. I am familiar with the disease, as I know a couple of people who are.

I did not mention this earlier because I certainly am not in a position to make that call, but I agree with your Cousin's diagnosis.

Dan

 

[BWS1982]

My mom has told me herself over the years (Masters in Pharmaceuticology, co-directs a state run mental facility) that Lamictal is more for anxiety in most occasions, and that depression is better dealt with via something like Zoloft or Prozac, but not always. I've been on both those last two.

I myself deal with a few psychological issues (not meaning to unload) and the thing I always have been told growing up (by doctors, teachers and friends mostly) is some of the most brilliant and influential people of all time had similar issues as you and I do Jeff. Einstein was Bipolar, Picasso was more or less depressed, many great artists, inventors and musicians were depressed or bipolar. Sometimes it's a curse, but if you try to focus on those times that it can be seen as a gift, it comes back to perspective. Your issues can be such a burden, but if you use them to maybe fuel creativity or passion, then it can make those "hopeless times" easier to cope with until you can actually "fix" them. What I'm trying to say is when you feel alone and down, write/play some music or the likes, if you aren't getting help through meds or a doctor at the moment, maybe the writing will be cathartic enough to vent the sadness. Fill the void with a sense of accomplishment, it just might work (just don't wallow in the sadness). At least it works for me. Oh, and a good gf will do wonders as well (which you have).

Finally, also watching Monk always gives me solace.

 

[Jeff D.]

I went and saw my GP yesterday and she gave me prozac. SHe wants me to find another psychiatrist because the guy I went to see is hard for non-Indian Americans to understand and he is not the best the area has. My psychologist only sent me to him because he knew I needed antidepressants and the other psychiatrists would take at least a month to go see. So we will see how prozac does and now I just have to wait. Thanks for all the support guys.

 

[PeninsulaLil]

Hang in there Jeff! I have been up and down, in and out with depression for quite a while. It is like Crohn's in that symptoms change over time, a drug that worked once quits working, you have to be patient and fool around with doses, and all the while you just want to feel better!! While both meds and talk therapy can significantly improve depression, the two together have a much higher rate of improvement than either alone, so you might want to consider that. (I wasn't sure if you were seeing the psychologist on a regular basis...)

Keep checking in here!

Lilly

 

[Jerman]

Hi Jeff, so very sorry that you are also struggling in this area. I too have been get back into some very dark days. You and I have talked about this before and you have been a great source of support. I have been tried on a few different meds and felt some brutal side effects, it is really important to question the purpose and the side effects of the meds as you did, as sometimes like anyone else, the psych will make a knee-jerk decision. I was on Buspar some time ago and the body aches that came along with that were awful (friggin lovely huh? like we don't have any trouble with that?). At that time the fatigue & body aches made climbing the stairs seem like mt everest.

You did well in questioning this doc's decision and I hope you are in better hands now, you deserve to be well, hang on tight bud. I would only caution you in the future to not abruptly stop the meds-especially if you have been on them for a while as some can have devasting side effects-my effexor is an example of that I believe stroke, seizures and a few other beauties are possible for someone coming off it too quick.

You were very smart to step away from someone so eager to through a label on your symptoms so quickly, good luck my friend pm or email me if I can be of any help at all to you.

I have been trying to stay away from the forum as I too am feeling pretty rough and have tired of my issues. I just popped on and saw your post and had to answer. take care jeff.