Your history with Crohn's sounds very much like mine, Angels. I fought extremely hard against the idea of having a bag, even though I was in crippling pain, couldn't control my bowels and nothing made it any better. In the end, after almost 40 years and numerous surgeries (a couple as emergencies in the middle of the night), my gastroenterologist gave me the ultimatum - proctocolectomy or death!
I had really left it far too long, which meant that the surgeon had also to remove a great deal of affected flesh around my rectum and anus - about the size of a large man's fist - and this took months to grow back and heal completely.
My proctocolectomy was in 2000 and changed my life. I can't say that I have no problems at the moment - there is always the balance between the sensible thing that keeps the outflow under control and that second glass of wine that throws it out of whack or the unexpected leak in the middle of the night or the difficulty of finding a clean toilet in the wilds of Africa...but, on the other side of the equation, since 2000 I have been on safari in Africa, I have visited Machu Picchu in Peru, I have snorkeled with giant tortoises in the Galapagos Islands, I have bush walked, bicycled, gardened - I have even bathed naked - except for my stoma bag - in Japanese onsen.
You learn to manage the stoma bag and, believe me, no-one else need know about it if you don't want them to.
I am happy to answer any questions that you have and you might like to post in the Stoma Subforum, under Surgery, to get more responses from people who are living with stomas.