How to feel...interested?

Crohn's Disease Forum

Help Support Crohn's Disease Forum:

S

Sparky

Joined
Sep 16, 2008
Messages
127
I know this has been done before - I've skimmed back. I guess I'd just like some thoughts from people in a similar situation.

CD for nearly 6 years - pretty much constant, some short periods of remission.

I just don't see myself in any sexual context, I guess. My husband does - he fancies me as much today as he did nearly 20 years ago when we got together. I love that he sees me that way - it does wonders for my confidence.

The thing is, I just don't want sex the way I used to - I'm either too tired, or it hurts - whatever, it's not what he wants it to be, and not what I want either.

Any ideas? We're experts at the non-penetrative thing, I want him to be happy and satisfied.

I'd just like to be a bit more into it myself, iykwim? Any libido lifting tips?
 
I hope this isn't TMI. My sex life has never been bad really, I just wasn't in the mood too often. I always said to my husband "Remind me that I like sex?" Cuz it was great once we started - I was always too tired or whatever.

Ever since I started flirting with Drew - my sex life has been amazing. I want it WAY more than I ever did. Now I flirt with my husband too. Little touches here and there, a look that he's not expecting, making the old new again. I also find myself trying to look nicer for my husband.
A friend of mine was having marriage trouble and I told her to try flirting with her husband and just be really over the top sweet. It's amazing what a little extra sweetness can do.
Maybe try pretending you are on a first date, and see if that creates a spark to put you in the mood?
I don't know if you've tried lubricants with your pain - but that's a thought too.
I've one more idea but I am WAY to shy to write it, haha. I'll PM you I guess.
 
My Butt Hurts said:
I hope this isn't TMI. My sex life has never been bad really, I just wasn't in the mood too often. I always said to my husband "Remind me that I like sex?" Cuz it was great once we started - I was always too tired or whatever.

Ever since I started flirting with Drew - my sex life has been amazing. I want it WAY more than I ever did. Now I flirt with my husband too. Little touches here and there, a look that he's not expecting, making the old new again. I also find myself trying to look nicer for my husband.
A friend of mine was having marriage trouble and I told her to try flirting with her husband and just be really over the top sweet. It's amazing what a little extra sweetness can do.
Maybe try pretending you are on a first date, and see if that creates a spark to put you in the mood?
I don't know if you've tried lubricants with your pain - but that's a thought too.
I've one more idea but I am WAY to shy to write it, haha. I'll PM you I guess.
Click to expand...
You, shy? Hmmm.
 
farm said:
You, shy? Hmmm.
Click to expand...
I AM!!!
I didn't write the thing I was GONNA write - I sent it in a PM.
Haha - and then told Drew about it even though my husband told me not to tell anyone, bwahahahaaaaaa.
Well - at least I didn't facebook it, right?
 
My Butt Hurts said:
I hope this isn't TMI. My sex life has never been bad really, I just wasn't in the mood too often. I always said to my husband "Remind me that I like sex?" Cuz it was great once we started - I was always too tired or whatever.

Ever since I started flirting with Drew - my sex life has been amazing. I want it WAY more than I ever did. Now I flirt with my husband too. Little touches here and there, a look that he's not expecting, making the old new again. I also find myself trying to look nicer for my husband.
A friend of mine was having marriage trouble and I told her to try flirting with her husband and just be really over the top sweet. It's amazing what a little extra sweetness can do.
Maybe try pretending you are on a first date, and see if that creates a spark to put you in the mood?
I don't know if you've tried lubricants with your pain - but that's a thought too.
I've one more idea but I am WAY to shy to write it, haha. I'll PM you I guess.
Click to expand...

Or if all else fails crack open a beer to get in the mood ;)

All jokes aside, I agree with MBH. My stomach aches easily, so any sort of pressure on my belly can possibly trigger pain (though not all the time). Even penetration can cause my insides to bump around and make me sore. Astroglide has helped a LOT! The less friction, the better and it makes a tremendous difference.

And yes, FLIRT! Agree 10000xs on this. Firstly, you have to feel attractive. Go get your nails done. Maybe a pedi? God knows I can look like crap, but if my toes look nice that's good 'nuff for me, lol. Go to a salon and get your hair and makeup done if possible! Something so minor can make you feel so confidant. Want to be even more bold? Cook dinner in lingerie ;)

With that said, it's his reaction that's going to make things steamy. The key is to get out of the "repetitive" sex. Say no more to chore sex!

Oh, and before I forget -- and I cannot emphasize this enough. If you haven't already, invest in a "toy". Now, let me say that there's a LOT of men out there intimidated by toys (my husband was one of them for years), but start off with something small like "the bullet". It's not for penetration (well, some are, but they're mostly for clitorial stimulation) and it's something he can use on you.

Welp, there goes any modesty I had...LOL
 
Just drink a gallon of Austin Powers MOJO juice!

mojo.jpg
 
penatrive sex shoulndt be painful. if it is and casues bleeding you should get it checked out.
 
merrywidow said:
penatrive sex shoulndt be painful. if it is and casues bleeding you should get it checked out.
Click to expand...
I think she had written in another thread that she has fistulas or ulcerations right in that area. No helping the pain I think.
 
merrywidow said:
penatrive sex shoulndt be painful. if it is and casues bleeding you should get it checked out.
Click to expand...

It should be if the other party is... um... larger than life? Bringing the thunder from down under? :eek:

OOOH BABY!!!! lol
 
Santos61198 said:
It should be if the other party is... um... larger than life?
Click to expand...
HA! I have recently been told that the average is 5 - 7 inches.
(Not sure about width though.)
Hmmm - I wonder how many people will be measuring their loved ones tonight??
Hint - I just did.

And how did this thread turn into THIS?? We REALLY need some self control!!
 
merrywidow said:
ris, you can get a baby out of that hole. no bloke is that big!!!
Click to expand...
And for some reason I just don't remember pushing a baby out as being quite as enjoyable as sex. Call me silly.
 
My Butt Hurts said:
And for some reason I just don't remember pushing a baby out as being quite as enjoyable as sex. Call me silly.
Click to expand...

One reason I'll never be a mom... I just want to practice! ;)

Edit: A LOT
 
My Butt Hurts said:
Obviously said from experience.
Hey Farm - if you want to post pics on the 'battle scar' thread... just sayin'...
Click to expand...
Perhaps I will!!!
 
My Butt Hurts said:
And for some reason I just don't remember pushing a baby out as being quite as enjoyable as sex. Call me silly.
Click to expand...

I read some article just a few weeks ago about women having orgasms when in labor. Uh, WHAT?
 
vshirey317 said:
Generate his porn name, stat!
Click to expand...

I did, and it was SO lame (Bob the Bandit??).

So, I am officially naming him Pubert Von Hugendong.

Kudos to you Family Guy fans out there who get the reference (I think Benson will).
 
Santos61198 said:
Well maybe not to YOU, since you were the one who GAVE it to me! But not everyone else knew! :D
Click to expand...

Hey dudette, we're in the LOUNGE! Where the disco ball turns, strobe lights come on, the fuzzy dice hang and doubleheadedpurplerhinesoned dildo's are a fad. There are no secrets! :ycool:
 
You can. PM Mikeyarmo.

Ladies - back to the topic? Hopefully Sparky is laughing at the derailment of her thread - but you never know.
 
Santos61198 said:
Oh how I wish I could put Sizzle Tits under my name instead of Senior Member...
Click to expand...

On another Forum.com I posted on, they would give you "taglines" from things you've said in threads. Talk about awesome. My very first one had read, "I have nothing but love for shemales. Without them, well, there'd be no shemale porn".
 
My Butt Hurts said:
You can. PM Mikeyarmo.

Ladies - back to the topic? Hopefully Sparky is laughing at the derailment of her thread - but you never know.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I had sort of thought about that just a second ago. Oops!
 
vshirey317 said:
On another Forum.com I posted on, they would give you "taglines" from things you've said in threads. Talk about awesome. My very first one had read, "I have nothing but love for shemales. Without them, well, there'd be no shemale porn".
Click to expand...

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha sweet
 
My Butt Hurts said:
You can. PM Mikeyarmo.

Ladies - back to the topic? Hopefully Sparky is laughing at the derailment of her thread - but you never know.
Click to expand...

Somehow I doubt Mike will put Sizzle Tits under my name... I wish!
 
vshirey317 said:
Yeah, I had sort of thought about that just a second ago. Oops!
Click to expand...

Oh jeeeez..... sorry, Sparky!!! Totally didn't mean to hijack your thread...

I agree about getting your hair or nails done. Every time I feel crappy about myself and want to spice things up, I know I have to make myself feel better first. I usually go get a new haircut, get my hair highlighted or colored, get a mani/pedi... whatever will make me feel good in my own skin.

If you like/can eat bananas, I've HEARD that they have an effect on your mood (don't know for sure though).

<3 Sizzle Tits
 
I found this rly hard a couple of months ago.
Does anyone else get the awful feeling tht u r guna 'have an acident' during the whole penatrive business?
Luckily my boyfriend was amazing throughout the whole thing.
But yer my advice would basicly be the same as the others.
Hope everything gets better for u
xxx
 
OMG, you guys have made me howl laughing :D Don't worry for a second about derailing threads, I love it when things get silly - I have a sort of butterfly brain and make all kind of weird jumps when I'm talking to people, and this thread is just like that :D

Thanks for the tips - I think the soreness is just because it's all so tender - between constant D and bloating, it's all a bit uncomfortable even when we're not doing the business, so maybe I just need to experiment a bit more with positions so that Im not worried about it being uncomfortable. Also flirting might work - we've sort of got out of that habit but we're going away on Saturday for a week, so maybe a combination of change of scene, lots of time in a bikini and no work to get in the way might help me look at myself a bit differently. Hadn't thought about a toy either - think something totally different might help sort of break the pattern, and let me get into it a bit more.

MBH - your suggestion via PM isn't one I'd ever considered but having thought about it, I can see why that might work. It also gave me another idea so thanks - both for taking the time to PM and giving me a smile a mile wide when I read it :D

As for orgasms during labour - I've read that too and I just do NOT understand it. If that had been the case I might have had hordes of children! I do know someone who swears that's how she got through labour - her husband...attended to her right the way through, and she reckons she sailed through with a blissful smile. OMG, I'm not shy but the thought of that whilst the midwife popped in regularly just made me shudder.

I'm going to go and ponder a porn star name, as sizzle tits is taken...
 
Sparky said:
I'm going to go and ponder a porn star name, as sizzle tits is taken...
Click to expand...

Don't worry, Sparky. If you have any trouble thinking of a name, I'm sure us dirty girls can think of plenty for you... :ylol2:

Sorry that I stole Sizzle Tits on ya!
 
vshirey317 said:
I find it a tad odd that uh, the biggest pervs on this board are a bunch of women. I guess when men do it, it's just sexual harassment? :lol:
Click to expand...

Yeah... poor guys always get the shaft... when it's the girls who WANT it! (Tee hee)
 
Well, I often get in trouble for my perversion, and once in a while it's taken the wrong way (like you said, it can be harassment too), sometimes it comes across as inappropriate. Trust me, I'm a freak. :allright:

I can't relate to the sex drive issue too well, even at my worst, even then, at least once a day I was in the mood, I've always been like that. I discussed with my second most recent doctor certain testosterone-related effects regarding IBD because I'm familiar with the hormone so I brought it up, and with common sense, I think test levels are the reasoning for any drive. Women have test levels too, and it's related to inhibition and sex drive, so besides just physical deterrents from discomfort/pain, test levels can drop with Crohns/IBD from low calorie levels, being sick, being bed-ridden, low energy/activity, etc...practically the whole lifestyle of a flare lends itself to dropping test levels.
 
Ha! I had to go back and look again!!
Comments?
*snork!*
And the lining is made of the finest vulvateen material.
Pursed lips, indeed.
Pardon me, is that genuine ******** skin?
Why? ****’s wrong with it?
I don’t know. Looks too boxy to me.
….also available as a muff.
That is just lip service!
I’m in no thrush to buy one, but everyone else is itching to get their hands on it.
*scratches*
Dinner, a movie, gently holding the strap and telling it how you feel about it!
for the first time in my life, I want a purse.
Imagine that, a purse that’s been snatched before you even buy it…
I hope its stain resistant…..
I feel a sudden urge to eat a purse!
but do they make an 18 year-old virgin (umm, version) of this puss, err, purse? I’ll take 6.
Maybe it’s just me, but I think there’s something fishy about this fail …
It appears the little man has abandoned ship.

Sorry so many - I just couldn't decide on a fave.
 
Oh I think my favorite was after all the clever enuendo one person posts, "That purse looks like a vagina!"

HAHA!
 
Santos61198 said:
I did, and it was SO lame (Bob the Bandit??).

So, I am officially naming him Pubert Von Hugendong.

Kudos to you Family Guy fans out there who get the reference (I think Benson will).
Click to expand...

Giggedy Giggedy!!!
 
Meh, the wife's got a bullet. We bought it a while ago for some additional fun. We sometimes use it, but she's more into my fingers, tongue and dangly parts. And I can hum and vibrate till my batteries run down too. ;)
 
My Butt Hurts said:
Maybe if you get a new purse, that could lift you spirits about yourself??
It can ONLY be this one though
http://failblog.org/2009/08/06/purse-design-fail/

Hahah - I wanted to put that on Kello's polka-dot grocery store thread, but it wasn't in the lounge. I figure this was the next best place.
Click to expand...

LOL!!
perfect for carrying tampons!!!


lololol at the comment that dan pointed out :D haha some people are so slow
 
DanSJVDavis said:
Meh, the wife's got a bullet. We bought it a while ago for some additional fun. We sometimes use it, but she's more into my fingers, tongue and dangly parts. And I can hum and vibrate till my batteries run down too. ;)
Click to expand...

Dangly parts....do you have big ears? :ylol2:
 

Similar threads

thike1966
Hotel Crohn's Forever, The Return Of The Fistula
Replies
0
Views
581
thike1966
thike1966
K
So confused after apparent relapse
Replies
6
Views
2K
Opieshuffle13
O
A
Superstition and Anxiety
Replies
12
Views
2K
Aituk7
A
L
Starting Skyrizi next week.. need some support and some questions
Replies
27
Views
5K
momsa
M
A
My History
Replies
3
Views
2K
ARSalerno3
A

Latest posts

Back
Top