He is in a lot of pain today and his energy is low. He told me that he doesnt want to live anymore because this is not living. That he doesnt exist anyway. He said that sometimes he hates us (kid and I) because he HAS to live because of us. I try my best to be supportive and be a shoulder for him but the things he says are so hurtful. I dont know how to hel him. Hes so sad and depressed right now. He will not go see a therapist. I jist dont know how to help him anymore.
Thunderbear1, I feel your pain as you feel your husband's pain.
I have been married for almost 4 years. My then-boyfriend and now husband told me that he had Crohn's since he was 12, and I was a total ignorant about it. But at that time he was fine, he was even able to run everyday and lift weight, chin-up bars, swim, and all what just a healthy person will do. But it was in 2011, July to be precise, when his condition deteriorated so fast and in just a difference of a month he was underweight, weak, completely weak. I was very scared because never before I had seen somebody to get so sick like he was.
My husband was at some point very depressed even though he still he had the driven to live. At the beginning he was stubborn to go to see a doctor, and I don't blame him because none of us had insurance and I was working as a nanny while pursuing my career. It was in February 2012 when he landed in ER, weighing 91 lbs, with swollen feet and practically dying. The doctors told him that he would have waited for another week, he would have died, due to the intestinal blockage that could have led to an deadly internal infection.
He's been back twice in the hospital for partial blockage but little by little he is getting on track. Every time he was there for a week, and the GI he is currently seeing is very caring, up to the point that called my husband one time after 8 pm to check on him... What doctor would do that?
My husband is also doing a holistic treatment, approved by the GI (Though for respect and not promoting business, I will not release that information). But initially he had a different GI who was very hostile about the holistic approach and just wanted to chop his gut, but the second time he was admitted due to the partial blockage, he was referred to another GI, the current one. My husband is taking 20 mm of prednisone, 100mm imurane and an aggressive intake of the holistic medicine, and also juicing. He hasn't had any surgery either.
Meanwhile, I had to learn in the hard way about his condition. I prayed and asked people to pray for him, but I realized that not many people understand the condition of Cronh's, so little by little I have to be very patient with their ignorance...which I noticed that it did not help my husband.
Has your husband accepted to see a therapist so far? Please tell him that he is not alone in this situation, but there is still a reason to fight for.
There were so many times I felt very down, and it was my husband who keep saying: "I will live, I will live, this condition will not define me, but I will live". I actually give to him the credit of teaching me so much patience when I wasn't and I thought just to give up.
He hasn't had any colonoscopy recently, because both holistic and GI doctors agreed that they should wait for him the be stronger. Tomorrow he will reduce the prednisone amount to 15 mm, as directed by the GI. I think before doing a colonoscopy the GI wants that my husband is taking less amount of drugs, or better to say, the GI prefers he is off from taking prednisone.
We send to you and your husband our thoughts and prayers.
