I don't love myself anymore

[Asher]

I don't know who i am anymore. I don't know who I've become.
I'm losing my hair, i have acne from medications, I am gaining weight like crazy.
I've changed into this being who I can't bare to look at in the mirror. When will this all stop?

 

[Nym]

I'm pretty sure most on this forum have felt the way you're feeling right now. I know I have. Several times. I changed everything to get myself back. I hope you find what's right for you. Until then stay really well-nourished and hydrated. ♥ Don't lose sight of the real you under it all.

 

[darster]

During one particularly bad flare I went on prednisone and gained a ton of weight. My hair was falling out in handfuls. Started growing hair like wolfman on my face, and as a woman, not cool. I couldn't bear to look in the mirror. My mother, bless her heart, said I looked like a linebacker. And the weight stayed for years. I took to calling it "my reserves", you know, in case I ended up in the hospital with a bad flare. It was an unhappy time, to put it mildly. Today, I have used up all the reserve fat and have absolutely no appetite. The peach fuzz on my face remains thick and luxurious. Ultimately it is how you feel inside that matters. Coming to terms with this disease is hard. I hope you feel better!

 

[mamagus]

Get a hat.
I love the reserves idea.
I really don't have any good advice - I'm miserable right now, I'm trying hard to be positive - get some living done - be grateful, today I'm not wearing a bag, today I am getting stuff done. I'm terrified of the pain, I'm in a panic all the time - when is the next nightmare going to kick in - but I'm trying really, really hard to fight the panic and the negatives and do some living in between all the ********. because if I spend all the time hating - hating myself, hating others... I'll miss so much.

best best best of luck to you!