I'm a burden to everyone

[Nobody]

I lost my older child to his father and feel like a huge burden to my partner and my other 2 boys and step son. I do not work so I have no income and we are so far behind bills; rent and truck payments. My partner is the bread winner and I feel so useless. My whole family thinks I brought all this on myself so I do not have their support. I'm not a good enough mother and partner. I just want out so everyone will be happy, no more problems from me. I want to give up my other son's to their dad or family and leave my boyfriend so he has more money and nothing to complain about... PLEASE... Everything is wrong with me... I know I'm depressed but my partner doesn't want me on meds. I'm tired of life

 

[Judith]

Welcome to CrohnsForum Nobody,
I am SO SORRY you are having such depression. Unfortunately Depression and Fatigue can occur during Flares in [wiki]Crohn's Disease[/wiki]. The Inflammation that occurs during your Flare causes the release of certain factors in your body that can make you feel this way. Many people also have body aches, fever, difficulty thinking / forgetfullness, sleeping too much or difficulty sleeping. I fully understand how you are feeling as I have inflammatory conditions as well.

How you are feeling now is not how you will feel forever. You will come out of this depressive state.

You are frustrated right now with your partner's and sons reaction to your condition. I obviously do not know them personally but sometimes loved ones cannot "fix" your illness and they react in an antagonistic manner instead because they are worried and do not know what to do. The fact that your partner does not want you to react to medication in the same way you did previously shows he does care about you. When you are feeling so awful it it sometimes difficult to see the positive side of things.

I dont know what medication you reacted to last time but unfortunately this is a side effect of certain people on certain medications. If your physician knows this he can switch classes of medications and you may have a better result.

There are also some Vitamin and Mineral deficiencies common in Crohn's that can make your depressive feelings much worse. Two major ones are [wiki]Vitamin B12[/wiki] and [wiki]Vitamin D[/wiki]. If you click the highlighted words you can go to our wiki pages on the topics. If your Vitamin D levels are low you may get a boost from simply going out in the sunshine for a few minutes or so.

Omega 3 Fatty Acids can also help combat the over inflammation of a flare (make sure your supplement doesnt contain Omega 6 because that will make your symptoms worse).

The feelings you are having are unfortunately common in Inflammatory type diseases. Your feelings of distance between you and your familly members are shared by many people on CrohnsForum. Check out the threads:
You are not a burden!!!
Anxiety/depression
How often do you cry?
I wish I was at this alone.

We are here for you for information or just to vent at CrohnsForum. I hope you are feeling better soon. Please keep us updated. Welcome!

 

[Brokenbelly]

I am very sorry to hear you feel that way. I understand how you feel. I feel like a burden too and that my family doesn't understand. Reading posts on this site has helped me a lot with feeling alone. Please know that when we feels things are at their worst, it can get better. Hang in there.:ghug:

 

[Jennifer]

Hi Nobody (I know you wanted a name change), just checking in. How are you doing?

 

[723crossroads]

Hi Someone,
You are someone very dear to your partner and your children whether you know it or not. Life has a funny way of working out and people sometimes don't realize exactly what you are going thru, but they mean well. Plz feel free to PM me and I will be glad to talk to you and try to help. I have been in that state of depression before, but now My life is much better. I hope you are too! Blessings! Teresa:rosette1:

 

[LisaL]

I wanted to let you know that you are very welcome and wanted here. Please take the advice you've been given here and get some help. No one should feel so sad for so long.
Lisa

 

[emma turner]

My heart goes out to you.
There is not much people can say when your feeling like this but do know that there are people out there who care and understand. Like others have said, this feeling won't last forever.
Our Lord Jesus Christ loves each and every one of us. He died for us. He is our saviour and He knows how your feeling. I pray that his peace will fill your life during your hard times.

God Bless you friend!