mwb3779
Kitchenhawk
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2009
- Messages
- 1,471
Hi, I wanted to introduce myself again. Its been a awhile since I've read or posted on here. I've gone through a whole lot emotionally that I didn't think I would get through. I'm getting to that point now and wanted to come in and say I miss you guys. Its been a couple months. A lot of thoughts and prayers and it looks like I'll be moving home soon. I can not wait.
For those of you who don't know me or my story. Here it is. I was working in Seattle as a territory manager for a large company that gave me the Seattle/ Tacoma area. I worked there for 4 years and was loving it. Last year around June I started to to really feel horrible and I couldn't figure it out. I took a leave of absence from work and got worse. I thought it was a depression or something from all the economy issues. It got even worse, and I stopped eating cause I could not keep anything down or have it be anything other than D. It got so bad that I slept 20 or more hours a day and if I was lucky 300 cal. I lost a considerable amount of weight (100 lbs in just under 2 months). I got sicker. Doctors could not figure out where all my pain was coming from. It was bad! Very bad! So I just basically just shut down. One night while heading to the bathroom, I fell over. I just stopped functioning. I lost control of my bowels. It was humiliating, I was living with my sister and her family at the time. Talk about feeling bad. My sister and her husband cleaned up. She is a great sister and brother-in-law, I love them so very much! She was scared for me and rushed me to the hospital. This was Oct 29th. They couldn't figure out what was wrong either. I kept getting worse. They admitted me, and I was put into isolation. Fearing I was contagious. Scary. I spent almost two weeks in the hospital. I had the best pain meds and sometimes they didn't touch the pain. After a colonoscopy and biopsy it came back I had Crohn's disease. I was terrified. I thought it was over. Here I am 30 and losing everything. I had lost my car through repo (no money for the bills), lost my place to live, eventually lost my job cause I couldn't work anymore. I hated everything. My dad came out from Maryland while I was in the hospital and asked me to live with my mom and dad for a while until I got better. I moved in with them in mid Nov last year. I moved away from everything. No insurance, no health, no anything other than the love of my parents.
I fell in love in January of this year with a girl who used to work for me. KNown her for 2 years already, things seemed to be going well. I was feeling better. Its amazing what be in love can do for the system. She was healing me!! I went out to visit her and spent two weeks there. I thought everything was great. Turns out she wasn't the person I thought she was and I think my illness scared her more than anything. She helped me refill my pill box, which is still frightening. I take so many medicines and I'm only 31 now. I can compare with my Grandma's pill box! There's something wrong there. Well this is the time when I stopped coming around. I have a few friends on here that stayed in communication with me and for that I am grateful. Sue is such a wonderful person. She lives across the world from me and listened to me so many times about how a lone I felt and how much I missed my girl. Cris and all my facebook Crohnies have kept me abreast of stuff in their lives.
Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. I realize that I still have no insurance and no real way of caring for myself yet. But I am starting to also realize that I am a strong person who will come back. Someone who is gonna make a difference. I am going to be moving home to Washington state soon and will be starting over. A year ago, I was a manager in charge of a major metro area of stores. A year later, I live in my parents house with nothing. Things change so much. But they will not keep me down for much longer. A song that has been playing in my head so much in the past couple weeks is the Black Eyed Peas "I gotta a feeling". If you've never heard it please listen to it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSD4vsh1zDA
Thank you to all of you who prays for me and all those who still struggle I pray for you and your families. Remember we are all a powerful force, a cure is coming. I can feel it. I gotta feeling, tonight's gonna be a good night.
For those of you who don't know me or my story. Here it is. I was working in Seattle as a territory manager for a large company that gave me the Seattle/ Tacoma area. I worked there for 4 years and was loving it. Last year around June I started to to really feel horrible and I couldn't figure it out. I took a leave of absence from work and got worse. I thought it was a depression or something from all the economy issues. It got even worse, and I stopped eating cause I could not keep anything down or have it be anything other than D. It got so bad that I slept 20 or more hours a day and if I was lucky 300 cal. I lost a considerable amount of weight (100 lbs in just under 2 months). I got sicker. Doctors could not figure out where all my pain was coming from. It was bad! Very bad! So I just basically just shut down. One night while heading to the bathroom, I fell over. I just stopped functioning. I lost control of my bowels. It was humiliating, I was living with my sister and her family at the time. Talk about feeling bad. My sister and her husband cleaned up. She is a great sister and brother-in-law, I love them so very much! She was scared for me and rushed me to the hospital. This was Oct 29th. They couldn't figure out what was wrong either. I kept getting worse. They admitted me, and I was put into isolation. Fearing I was contagious. Scary. I spent almost two weeks in the hospital. I had the best pain meds and sometimes they didn't touch the pain. After a colonoscopy and biopsy it came back I had Crohn's disease. I was terrified. I thought it was over. Here I am 30 and losing everything. I had lost my car through repo (no money for the bills), lost my place to live, eventually lost my job cause I couldn't work anymore. I hated everything. My dad came out from Maryland while I was in the hospital and asked me to live with my mom and dad for a while until I got better. I moved in with them in mid Nov last year. I moved away from everything. No insurance, no health, no anything other than the love of my parents.
I fell in love in January of this year with a girl who used to work for me. KNown her for 2 years already, things seemed to be going well. I was feeling better. Its amazing what be in love can do for the system. She was healing me!! I went out to visit her and spent two weeks there. I thought everything was great. Turns out she wasn't the person I thought she was and I think my illness scared her more than anything. She helped me refill my pill box, which is still frightening. I take so many medicines and I'm only 31 now. I can compare with my Grandma's pill box! There's something wrong there. Well this is the time when I stopped coming around. I have a few friends on here that stayed in communication with me and for that I am grateful. Sue is such a wonderful person. She lives across the world from me and listened to me so many times about how a lone I felt and how much I missed my girl. Cris and all my facebook Crohnies have kept me abreast of stuff in their lives.
Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. I realize that I still have no insurance and no real way of caring for myself yet. But I am starting to also realize that I am a strong person who will come back. Someone who is gonna make a difference. I am going to be moving home to Washington state soon and will be starting over. A year ago, I was a manager in charge of a major metro area of stores. A year later, I live in my parents house with nothing. Things change so much. But they will not keep me down for much longer. A song that has been playing in my head so much in the past couple weeks is the Black Eyed Peas "I gotta a feeling". If you've never heard it please listen to it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSD4vsh1zDA
Thank you to all of you who prays for me and all those who still struggle I pray for you and your families. Remember we are all a powerful force, a cure is coming. I can feel it. I gotta feeling, tonight's gonna be a good night.
seeing you post in here today has made my day, Mike.
