In 2003 I contracted e-coli, came home and fell on the floor and felt my self-going into shock. (EMC cert so I know). I asked my ex to call a medic car but she stood and stared at me. I eventually found my self-begging for her to call when I looked in her eyes and I could see she just wanted me to go into shock and die. I fought the shock off and made her drive me to the hospital where I was in serious shape. I asked her later why she wouldn't call and her reply was, "well your ok aren’t you?” Well I have been seeing a consular ever since. All my life I worked hard with Crohn's but was taking a lot of prednisone. I made a lot just to loose it to Crohn's. My ex was going out on me at least since 2001 (confirmed as far back as 1990). Since the 2003 happening she turned very abusive, much more than before. She ignored me, spent all or money, was verbally abusive, sex? well she was cheating, demeaned me so that was also abusive and every way you can think.
I would not ever wish Crohn's on anyone but some people who think it's an excuse, your not that ill, faker, sure your bleeding internally work that 40 hour week so I can spend the money. I wish they could spend a few months in our shoes but people like that couldn't take it. We work 3 times harder than a healthy person that has to do the same work. Our guts hurt all the time. Our muscles, joints hurt and sometimes we feel very weak. Mornings are real bad sometimes and sometimes all day. It is the human pecking order that people dump on and leave spouses that are ill. I think these people are more selfish, primitive in genetics and may have the ability to care but not the ability to love. In some respects I feel sorry for them because they are more ill, or lesser in humanity than people with Crohn’s. They are usually ignorant and not very smart people. They are usually hurtful people who might teach others or your children that you are not good enough to be there mother, father or their spouse. I have meant hundreds of people like that over 50 years of Crohn's and they aren’t worth being around so don't let them mess your mind up. I have been caught in that trap many times and even now have to sometimes fight the negative people. My 28 year old son still starts to cut me down and gets very condescending and negative just like my ex wife taught him to treat me and also like she treated me. Happens to guys also! Now when my son starts with the cuts or negative I just say "no negative stuff I not going to take it". It seems to be working slowly and I have been single 5 years now. The sad thing is your spouse if you are in that situation can mess you up if you love them unconditionally. Don’t get me wrong 85% of the people out there are fine and great. There are really some nice people who don’t judge you on health but who you are. I think counseling would be great for you. Just start with a MH consular and if they think you need more they will help you. It works and with Crohn's I would really recommend it. Lets face it, Crohn's messes with your life in every way but there are people with far worse illness so we can't wallow in self pity and have to always be proactive in keeping it in the box. Good Luck and I Wish You Well! I mean really well! If I were you I would take some time off for yourself. If you use the computer get a hosting account and teach yourself how to build web sites. It’s fun and who knows you might make some money at it.
Jan
