Morning or Day
- Thread starter Daunting
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Help Support Crohn's Disease Forum:
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2011
- Messages
- 124
ugh
I have always had morning that are tuff. I tend to me more nauseate in the am and also tired. I am on sleeping meds as well as meds for anxiety and depression. I am usually lethargic in the am and by 4 pm start feeling better by 9 I am ready to go and have energy which is horrible because my kids and husband need me during the day. It leaves me feeling like I am letting my family down. I had went into remission for 3 months over the summer but 2 weeks ago I started sliding down hill again. For the first time since my son was born (he is now 4) I was able to help me husband who is also sick around the house, I was able to do activities with the family and play with my kids. I had even felt well enough that I would keep my son with me on Tues and Fridays from school. I had enrolled him in piano and wanted to work with him on educating him and just spending time together. Because most of his life I have been sick we havent been able to build the bond I had hoped for. He is very close to my husband and so being able to have tues and fridays with him were so exciting to me to feel weel enough for the first time to do that. However it only lasted a week before symptoms of crohns started showing itself. Since then I have had 2 ER visits and 1 hospital stay. I am back to feeling tired, lethargic an most of all a loss of hope and I feel a burden on my family. It upsets me because I am capable just not able. I see all my friends involved in activities with their children and I can't do that. Because of the flare up he know stays with his grma during the day because I am sleeping much or just ill. I had to cancel piano and swim lessons which makes me feel I am cheating my children from learning and experiencing so much because I am ill. Its not fair to my husband or children and it leaves me hating myself. I feel they deserve better. This summer I was able to overcome my fear and prove to myself I am a capable and wonderful mother I had one week with my son, just he and i and it was amzing for both of us. He wants to be with me and I have to say no. I am starting to have anxiety and feeling depressed again. All I have ever wanted to br is a mother who is loving and nurturing and give my children oppurtunities in life. My childhood was horrible in and out of homes due to abuse by step father and my mom choose to stay with him so I went to live with my granparents. So my life was going to be dedicated to raising my children in a healthy loving home as well as foster. Now I can't foster anymore, cant watch my own children and am on disability so I can't work. I am only 38 but feel I live in the body of a 60 yeart old with the numerous doc apt and limitations that have been set on me. It hurts my heart so much..Why, right now I should be with my son but he is at his grmas. I sit here knowing what I am capable of but unable and I want to scream, give up, run,just leave my family so they could have a mom that would be there for them, to give them and my husband what they deserve a mom and wife who is involved and capable. Instead of a mom that lies in bed or is sick much otf the time. I had 3 great months and now a flare up. It came on so sudden and I have no idea why? I have changed my entire lifestyle to do everything in my power to stay healthy. 2 weeks ago I was fine then down hill I feel. Never imagined this I have only had crohns since March and I didnt know it could kreep up so suddenly. Its humiliating to have my son and daughter see their mom in bed while their friends mothres take them to soccer, music lessons, dance etc. I had that set up but since I am ill I have had to vancel that, which isnt fair to them. I hurty so bad inside and feel I will never get better. It was almost worse to have that hope and feeling healthy again only to have it short lived. I guess I just needed to vent. I am so ashamed and hate that I am loosing time everyday with my children and soon my son will be in kindergarten and I will have lost his baby years. I just want to give up sometimes. I am so lonely and hopless right now. Thanks for listening. :depressed:
I have always had morning that are tuff. I tend to me more nauseate in the am and also tired. I am on sleeping meds as well as meds for anxiety and depression. I am usually lethargic in the am and by 4 pm start feeling better by 9 I am ready to go and have energy which is horrible because my kids and husband need me during the day. It leaves me feeling like I am letting my family down. I had went into remission for 3 months over the summer but 2 weeks ago I started sliding down hill again. For the first time since my son was born (he is now 4) I was able to help me husband who is also sick around the house, I was able to do activities with the family and play with my kids. I had even felt well enough that I would keep my son with me on Tues and Fridays from school. I had enrolled him in piano and wanted to work with him on educating him and just spending time together. Because most of his life I have been sick we havent been able to build the bond I had hoped for. He is very close to my husband and so being able to have tues and fridays with him were so exciting to me to feel weel enough for the first time to do that. However it only lasted a week before symptoms of crohns started showing itself. Since then I have had 2 ER visits and 1 hospital stay. I am back to feeling tired, lethargic an most of all a loss of hope and I feel a burden on my family. It upsets me because I am capable just not able. I see all my friends involved in activities with their children and I can't do that. Because of the flare up he know stays with his grma during the day because I am sleeping much or just ill. I had to cancel piano and swim lessons which makes me feel I am cheating my children from learning and experiencing so much because I am ill. Its not fair to my husband or children and it leaves me hating myself. I feel they deserve better. This summer I was able to overcome my fear and prove to myself I am a capable and wonderful mother I had one week with my son, just he and i and it was amzing for both of us. He wants to be with me and I have to say no. I am starting to have anxiety and feeling depressed again. All I have ever wanted to br is a mother who is loving and nurturing and give my children oppurtunities in life. My childhood was horrible in and out of homes due to abuse by step father and my mom choose to stay with him so I went to live with my granparents. So my life was going to be dedicated to raising my children in a healthy loving home as well as foster. Now I can't foster anymore, cant watch my own children and am on disability so I can't work. I am only 38 but feel I live in the body of a 60 yeart old with the numerous doc apt and limitations that have been set on me. It hurts my heart so much..Why, right now I should be with my son but he is at his grmas. I sit here knowing what I am capable of but unable and I want to scream, give up, run,just leave my family so they could have a mom that would be there for them, to give them and my husband what they deserve a mom and wife who is involved and capable. Instead of a mom that lies in bed or is sick much otf the time. I had 3 great months and now a flare up. It came on so sudden and I have no idea why? I have changed my entire lifestyle to do everything in my power to stay healthy. 2 weeks ago I was fine then down hill I feel. Never imagined this I have only had crohns since March and I didnt know it could kreep up so suddenly. Its humiliating to have my son and daughter see their mom in bed while their friends mothres take them to soccer, music lessons, dance etc. I had that set up but since I am ill I have had to vancel that, which isnt fair to them. I hurty so bad inside and feel I will never get better. It was almost worse to have that hope and feeling healthy again only to have it short lived. I guess I just needed to vent. I am so ashamed and hate that I am loosing time everyday with my children and soon my son will be in kindergarten and I will have lost his baby years. I just want to give up sometimes. I am so lonely and hopless right now. Thanks for listening. :depressed:
- Joined
- May 16, 2011
- Messages
- 49
SocialMe, I know how you feel darling.
I have a really tough time in the mornings. Lately, I get up at 6am to take my oldest to kindergarten and it's SOOOO hard. I have a hard time getting outta the bathroom, getting dressed, getting her dressed, getting her breakfast, getting in the car and too the school. It's horrible sometimes, like today, she was sick and I thanked god so I didn't have to take her. But ya, mornings blow. By night I am usually better, not today, but usually.
Before I was diagnosed, I had a hard time at night and going to sleep. Weird how that switched.
I have a really tough time in the mornings. Lately, I get up at 6am to take my oldest to kindergarten and it's SOOOO hard. I have a hard time getting outta the bathroom, getting dressed, getting her dressed, getting her breakfast, getting in the car and too the school. It's horrible sometimes, like today, she was sick and I thanked god so I didn't have to take her. But ya, mornings blow. By night I am usually better, not today, but usually.
Before I was diagnosed, I had a hard time at night and going to sleep. Weird how that switched.
Right when I wake up I am awful. I go to the bathroom at least 4 times a morning within a 20 minute time span. Then I mellow out a little during the day but then at night my symptoms come back so I use a heating pack and tramadol (which luckily doesn't keep me up) for sleep.
