Moving to new country and Crohn's Disease

[ukstephieandcolette]

Greetings,

I'll try and make this as brief as possible. My partner of 10 years suffers from crohns and we were planning on moving from L.A. back to the U.K. where I originate from. The main reason was to go take care of my mother who just turned 64, and look after her in the twilight of her years as she looked after me for so many. So I am asking if anyone can recommend a great GI doctor and hospital in East Yorkshire, England. To add to this we just found out my mum has breast cancer and has kept it very quiet for a long time and all indications show not very good news. This of course has thrown us for a loop as I am incredibly close to my mother.

In essence I am asking for 2 things please, GI info so I can set things up when I get back, and also anyone who has or is going through loved ones with cancer, any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. I (we) are going through so many emotions right now, I haven't stopped blubbering for 3 weeks, meanwhile my partner is feeling the effects of the stress with her crohns, so of course I personally feel even more guilty for adding to her discomfort.

Thanks,

Stephie - the caregiver
Colette the crohny - 24 years and counting......:yrolleyes:

 

[Entchen]

Hi, Stephie and Collete
My heart goes out to you both. I'm afraid I can't recommend a GI in the UK, but I can send *virtual hugs* and some support.
Take good care.

 

[Jeff D.]

I'm sorry Colette and Stephanie. My grandmother died of lymphoma several years back and it broke my heart when she died because she was like my second mother. I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

I can't help you with your first question though.

I'm praying for you

Jeff

 

[PeninsulaLil]

Someone here will have referrals for you, I'm sure. So sorry about your mom's diagnosis. My mother had lymphoma which was put into remission. It did not recur for fifteen years. I was blessed to be able to take care of her the last year of her life. She was 82 when she died in my home, with my brothers beside her. My sister-in-law's mother received a diagnosis of inoperable cancer and 6 months to live. Five years later she is swimming at 5:30am every day and acting in community theatre. So the best I can say is enjoy the well times fully; don't let future fears shadow today's happy moments. My best wishes for a good transition and keep us posted on how things go.

Lilly

 

[Astra]

Hi Stephie & Colette

sorry can't help you, there are some Yorkshire peeps on here tho!
not had any experience of cancer, but thinking of you and hope the move goes ok, we're here if you need to vent
xxx

 

[crohnicaly stinky]

Stephie & Colette

Wow you have a lot to deal with there and my heart goes out to you both. I think just being there with her will be huge. She may need chemo and that really takes away your energy, so meals, cleaning, driving her back and forth to treatments. You can do a lot to help her. The other thing is to be with her on her appointments. I know in my case, my wife couldn't always absorb the details that the doctor was saying, it was almost like she was too overwhelmed. So we'd rehash what the doctor said later and that helped her make sense of it all and feel comfortable with what was going on.

There is a website called lotsofhelpinghands.com That is used to get volunteers, friends involved. It has a neat calender and you just put up tasks and people can just sign up for it. The task might be to bring a meal, drive her to church, take her to an appointment, etc.

Good luck!

 

[ukstephieandcolette]

Dear All,

Thank you so much for your kind words, thoughts and advice. My mum is currently in hospital while they regulate her pain meds, and she has had her CT scan and Bone scan, results should be forthcoming latest Monday, so here's hoping for the best.

It's funny how things work out, my family has always been lucky with their health. The last ten years spent with Colette and her doctors, and meds, and hospital trips have helped me to understand a lot and she is being an absolute trooper with this latest news from home. Anyhow, I look forward to hearing from fellow "yorkshire puds" on GI info and will keep updating as we go along.

Thanks again,

Stephie - The caregiver
Colette - The crohny-24 years and counting

 

[Crohn's 35]

Let us know how you are doing? Both you and Colette! Hope you both have a better journey down the road.

 

[Keona]

Ya, take care both of you Sorry to hear about your mom and I hope her pain is managed soon. What a nice daughter and partner to move to help! I hope someone has a GI referral for colette soon as well.
Welcome to the forum!

 

[ukstephieandcolette]

Help Please - UPDATE

Hello All,

Well the news finally came yesterday about my mother. Unfortunately the cancer has spread. She now has it in her spine, chest, and lymphnodes, as well as originally in the breast, so qiute a bag full of tricks going on here!. We are hoping she can go home from the hospital early next week, but dr's won't commit to chemo yet, she will be re-evaluated again soon to determine if it is even worth it. I know that mind sound rather cold but I don't know how else to put it. They won't give a time frame outright, which I understand, however all indications point to not much time left.

As for Colette, she has almost run herself into the ground emotionally and so her crohns is getting very active again, we try to keep optimistic and calm, we know there can always be that one chance that things will take a good turn, but deep down it's difficult to believe that.

So now flights are being booked and we shall soon be off to England to go take care of mum and my younger brother, this is definately one of those times in life where you step up, failure is not an option.

Anyhow, that's the latest. Thanks for all the good thoughts and prayers from everyone, please keep them coming, as this usually calm, collected person is coming a little unglued right now.

Stephie

 

[Keona]

Stephie,

So sorry to hear about your mom. Difficult news for sure. I don't think you sound cold - it seems like you are thinking realistically and preparing yourself just in case. I think anyone in your position would do the same.
I hope you get a chance to do some self care so you dont get sick as well. Same with Colette. Neither of you are going to be any good to anyone if youre not healthy. Do they have VON's in England so you have some respite? I hope so, as you are under a great deal of stress.

I will be sending positive thoughts your way
Wendy

 

[Entchen]

Thinking of you all, Stephie. Many hugs.