My farts make me want to kill myself

[acemagic]

Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but OMG, they're terrible.

I just got a new job in an office with a bunch of people and I had to tell my HR rep that I would prefer a desk away from everyone else because of the potency of my farts. Most embarrassing moment EVER.

That being said, people are still going to come by my desk.

Has anyone had any luck with these:

http://laughingsquid.com/flatulence-deodorizer-pads-for-the-inside-of-your-underwear/

or these?

http://www.flat-d.com/chairpadblack.html

I feel the pads are very expensive at $1.00/day.

What about spray-deodorizers or car-style deodorizers that you hang up? Has anyone had any experience with deodorizers that don't just mask the smell, but actually absorb/remove it?

I have some apple spray in my bathroom at home that I thought would be great to spray every time I go, but in the end, it smells like I just pooped up a bunch of apples. And then pooped on those apples.

Matches are a no go because its an office.

Thanks!

-Adam

 

[ctrl z]

I don't know anything about "fart-b-gone" underwear inserts but for home use, the drops and poopourri are somewhat useful. I keep poopourri in my bathroom and it works pretty good. Much better than poo scented apples.

 

[sarahsoda29]

Ok....pardon me but I just HAD to laugh at this one. Because it's so true! I tell my boyfriend "I have a rotten gut so don't walk over there, I just farted"...lmao. It smells so much worse than before I was sick....and If I do it in my office I just pray no one walks in within the next few minutes!!!!

 

[sarahsoda29]

I do keep a Glade plug in (Apple Cinnamon) plugged in my office. I just do it because I like the smell, but also it keeps the butt smell away lol.

 

[2thFairy]

Like sarahsoda mentioned, the Glade plug-in stuff is good. The Glade oil plug-in Hawaiian Breeze scent is strong enough to hide dead-mouse-in-the-wall stink, so that might work for you if you can tolerate the intended scent of the plug-in. Dead mouse stinks almost as bad as my pre-surgery gas.

 

[acemagic]

Thanks guys!

 

[nicola502]

HAHAHAHA!
I have the exact same problem at work. The farts always get really bad after lunch and obviously there is no way for us to keep them in is there. I find if im sat at my desk then it doesnt make much noise and i can sit on the smell a bit!! Its when i get up and start walking that I have to worry...
When I get home I love that I can fart without worrying and if my man gives me funny looks I just say 'its the crohns'.. He never believes me!

 

[Sailorluna]

I have some apple spray in my bathroom at home that I thought would be great to spray every time I go, but in the end, it smells like I just pooped up a bunch of apples. And then pooped on those apples.

Matches are a no go because its an office.

Thanks!

-Adam

Adam,
I'm sorry but that was the funniest thing ever. :lol2:

Farting at work is the worst. I have a fistula so they sneak out that way sometimes and there is no muscle control there so I don't realize until it is too late.

 

[Lisa]

Oh how I can SO RELATE!!!!!.....I was somewhere not that long ago and had to let one out and it was STINKY!...Of course it was in a group of people...but, they were all guys and I just kind of sidled away while they blamed each other! lol

I have actually chased my husband out of the bedroom a time or two.....in the office, I have been able to get out to the main hall (HUGE, amll-like complex) where I don't have to worry about people being close.

Our office is being moved soon, to one with more people in it (4 of us right now)....will be interesting!...One good thing is there is a bathroom in this office area so I don't have to use the public one any more!

 

[acemagic]

Adam,
I'm sorry but that was the funniest thing ever. :lol2:

We have to laugh at ourselves once in a while!

 

[wendell]

u guys crack me up on here i have the same problem at work we have cubes we all sit in and i try real hard not to stink anyone out but when I get home look out they are flying all the time...my husband says thats not lady like and I said im home and they are coming out.:emot-dance:

 

[Susan2]

Universal reaction!

 

[Cross-stitch gal]

I just applied for a position at work in which I'd be representing the company at bridal shows and such. Should be interesting if I get the position and end up letting a few of mine out at these events...

 

[madferrit]

Hi Adam glad u can laugh about the worse smell in the world haha! It smells like something crawled up there and died- a month ago!
But to answer your question, i would give the pants a go if your really worried. They have charcoal filters just like stoma bags, which filter out bad smells, i seriously could do with some myself. Thers only so many times i can blame the dog!

 

[wild_one353]

it might be the meat you eat, cut back on meat. this is one thing i have noticed in myself. my farts have no odor for a while now. but i do alot of other things besdies lowering meat consumption, but it is related to the meat and certain bacteria that can eat the protein in meat. get some more protein from cheese or yogurt instead.

 

[moogie]

Stopping meat?? Are you nuts LOL I love meat... but my poor GF is just about to die... she endures my farts she should be given a medal.

They smell so bad that even the rabbits flee when I fart.

 

[Tuska]

Unflintching, I stare people straight in the eye and let em rip. Then I make my escape, releasing puffs of noxious vapor in my wake, to dissuade any potential pursuers.

 

[Cupcake]

I have a "clear air" scented diffuser and a small fan. It covers the sound and diffuses the smell. I do feel bad for whomever walks past the fan expecting a cool breeze in the summer.

 

[tots]

Well, when I am having trouble with a flare up they are much worse!

I work retail and sometimes I just have to say enter the stockroom at your risk! I will be happy to leave the floor and look for what you need!

I am so fed up with this flare I just have to say what the hell??

lauren

 

[parma123]

I am the spouse of a Crohn's patient. Has anyone asked their doctor for a solution to the flatulence problem. Since it is such a common problem you would think a doctor would be of some help. I once visited someone in the hospital and the odor after a bowel accident was horrendous. The nurse sprayed a deodorizer but I do not know what it was. It was extremely effective and I wish I had thought to find out what the name of it was. Perhaps someone who works in a hospital might know of an effective deodorizer for extreme odors.

 

[2thFairy]

Hollister M9 spray is VERY good. It has no scent, but wipes out odor in a few seconds. You can buy it on Amazon.com. Make sure it is the SPRAY and not the drops. The drops are for inside an ostomy bag.

 

[2thFairy]

Here is a link for the Hollister M9 spray:
http://www.amazon.com/Hollister-Odor-Eliminator-Spray-Unscented/dp/B002ZUEQTE

Another thing to try is a liquid that you put in the toilet water after you flush. It is eucalyptus drops and works pretty good too.
http://www.amazon.com/Travel-Just-D...keywords=just+a+drop+bathroom+odor+eliminator

 

[parma123]

Thank you 2th Fairy, I will try them both.

 

[Switalski]

Are you sure you don't have c-diff?