My journey from hell

[Dayz]

I am writing this for some therapy of my own because I find that it helps me to talk about it and get feedback from others. My story begins a month ago at the end of April when I began to get diarrhea about three times a week and only at night. I am a huge hypochondriac :eek2: and looked up what it could be. My dad has IBS and it seems everyone in his family has some sort of stomach issue. I did not take this well and thought my life will be over. My dad has told us some intense stories about his IBS and how he would have bloody diarrhea and cramping. I was terrified. After about two weeks of experiencing diarrhea at night I go the most fierce intense pain in my stomach. I had the most horrible cramping and I became really scared. The following day I ate nothing and still had horrible cramping throughout the day. Before all of this started I was taking Align to help with gas and such and I ended up with this monster! What I would give to just have to worry about gas pains. This whole time I am looking at and researching every symptom and thought I was going to be stuck with severe IBS. I was completely distraught. I cried and I cried and told anyone who would listen that I was in pain. I can be a little melodramatic but I didn't need to exaggerate this pain. I went to the emergency room and so has begun a viscous cycle. A couple of days later the pain subsided and I felt the constant need to go. I looked it up and read it was a sign of UC- I completely freaked out. I went to the University health center and the doctor let me vent for almost an hour. He told me that it was unlikely I had chrons or UC and that I needed to relax. He says the process of the disease is much different than mine and not to worry. I think hes full of it because everyone is different. The sensation would not go away and I completely lost it. I prayed to god to please stop all of this. I told myself that if I saw blood in my stool I would faint from the shock....and what do you know the next day there was a string of blood in my stool. Needless to say I hyperventilated called my parents and downed some xanax because I could not bear the thought of having an illness. This is the worst possible case scenario for a hypochondriac and I was living it. I immediatley went to my family doctor and he did a rectal exam- he said he did see some blood but didn't find anything else. I cried that whole day and as much as I try to console myself I feel helpless. I read stories online of people who were experiencing the same symptoms and they would write things like "I have bloody diahhrhea and cramping should I be concerned?" I was like HELL yes you should be concerned. I really admire the people on here who take things for what they are and are so calm and collected. I feel like I have completely lost it. I went to the GI doctor and he ordered a colonscopy. I demanded to see him right away even though the nurse dismissed my cramps and blood stating they must be from my Nuva Ring:ymad: I am super aware of my body and I know something is wrong- this is beyond hypochondriac status. Everyone is telling me its in my head and that it will just pass. For the past two days I have been experiencing a wonderful and oh so fun symptom- I have incredible joint pain. Its in my wrist, knees, and elbows. This is so overwhelming for me that I wont even look in the toilet to check to see if I have blood. This is so hard for me and I know i have to be strong but I am terrified! This is not in my head and I am really starting to think that I will complelty fall apart if I get a new symptom. My colonsocopy is scheduled on Wednesday everyone and their moms know that I am getting it. Yesterday I finally faced the fact that this is not going away and that something is definitely wrong. I felt relieved just accepting that fact but I am still scared. Everyone is tired of me crying and complaining and I am sure that this is just the beginning. I need a kick in the butt because I am letting this take over my life. I really admire all of you because truly you are all brave individuals. Thank you for reading my story and I will take any feedback even tough love !- :shifty-t::voodoo:
I will keep you all updated

 

[Terriernut]

Good news!!! Crohns isnt fatal!!! Neither is IBS!!! :hallo3:

Freaking out about this isnt going to do you a bit of good, although when symtoms first start, it's not unusual. Breath in.....breath out....in....out....

Slow the pounding heart, stop the churning thoughts. Although your symtoms are nothing to sneeze at, the fact that they are going to do tests to find out what is going on is a good start. You dont know if you have a chronic problem yet....so .....just chill if you can. Stress wont help any of your symtoms, it will only make it worse.

And STOP googling, let the Dr's dianose you! There is more false info on the internet than true in many cases.

Theres your tough love! And now...my mushy side, I genuinly hope that this is just a bug, and that you are on your way to recovery ASAP. I wish you well!!!
:rosette2:
Misty

 

[Tanachild]

Oh me, oh my.

Relax. If you do have CD or UC, they are treatable with medicine and you can live a pretty normal life. Blood in your stool is not usual for a person who is not sick, I'll just say that. Doctors said that it was just my stomach lining and that's why it hurt so bad. My mom had to demand that I be admitted to a hospital.

Good luck with the Colonoscopy! If they do find something wrong, which would be good because then you really aren't imagining it, you can be like, "Ha! I told you so!" Don't loose any sleep over it and save that sleep you do get for the prep for the Colonoscopy. You'll need it.

Good Luck!

 

[carrollco]

It's hard to relax when you're feeling stressed out. Xanax isn't always the best option as you can learn to rely on the drug instead of yourself. That said, stress can make Crohn's and/or CD worse. My doc called me on the Sunday after my colonoscopy to tell me I had Crohns. (I should have figured it was bad news.) I freaked out and thought I was going to die.

Obviously I'm not dead or I wouldn't be writing this. *grin*

While Crohns isn't fun it doesn't destroy your life as long as you get on the proper medication. Then you add in a dose of faith, a smidgeon of hope, and a dash of laughter.

That should see you though. And remember you are not alone.

Louann

 

[Astra]

Hiya Dayz
and welcome

Here's my tough love
Get a paper bag, breathe into it, and get a grip!
Ok?
Now, listen, you're gonna be ok, you're getting a scope and you're not gonna die!
If you get a dx of an IBD you're gonna be ok, I promise.
On the right meds this can be managed and you will have a normal life, well, depending on your mind set.
Please don't stress anymore, read some stuff on here, loads of success stories, not just horror stories. Stop reading the Net, some useless info out there, if you need help, follow our guide and support, you're no longer alone with this.
I have to say, is your Dad sure he's got IBS? You don't bleed with IBS?
I don't believe this pain is all in your head, why would it be!
Let us know how you get on and chill baby!
Lotsa luv
Joan xxx

 

[ameslouise]

Hi Dayz and welcome!

Ditto above. Take it one day at a time.

I would think the worst thing for a hypochondriac would be to feel sick and NOT get a dx. Once you get a dx, you will know what you are dealing with and how to treat it.

This may seem like the end of the world, but it's not. Hang in there.

- Amy

 

[Dayz]

Thank you all so much. When I read the net about CD all that comes out are words like debilitating and stating that people can no longer go out with friends and basically life is over. Reading the stories on this forum has given me a different insight. They make it out to be like AIDS or a terminal illness. I am still really scared at the thought of incontinence and having to explain to others whats going on. This is all new to me and even though I am used to visiting doctors I cant imagine going for this. On my first visit to the gastro I read through magazines for people with CD and it would give hints on how to overcome terrifying side effects and how to carry an extra pair of underwear and such in case of an accident. I remember thinking how horrible that all is and now it happening to me. This is where all my fear is stemming from. You guys really make me relax because it seems like yes it is manageable and yes I can live.
The internet really does make it seem like a death sentence.
To Astra101: My father has had many colonoscopys and has been checked up and down and they find nothing. He has his IBS pretty much under control. My dad also provided some great insight when he told me that I am very lucky because I am able to get medical attention and have the ability to buy whatever food I need. I was also told that by my counselor who is from India.

This is a really great place Iam soo glad I found it.

 

[Astra]

Hiya Dayz
I've replied to your Pm

That's the spirit! It isn't a death sentence, I still go out and have fun and get drunk and dance like a loony! And I'm an old dinosaur! And I'm not incontinent, well not yet anyhoo!
I think they write stuff like that cos they have to, and it's usually by fat cats in the managerial side of the hospitals who haven't got a bloody clue what's going on!
Keep reading our success stories, very inspirational, very supportive.
And don't read any more rags in the waiting room!
good luck
xxx

 

[Dayz]

I have been trying to look for some good success stories- Is there a specific thread?

Thank you Astra you dont know how much your words mean to me. My doctor told me that I don't have Chrons and that I will be fine. M Gastro told me the same thing. It is very frustrating because although I dont have diahhrrea or cramping (or atleast not at the moment) I have had blood and horrible joint pain...One day at a time and I will get through this.

 

[Lisa]

welcome Dayz....there are MANY success stories out there - probably I'd be one..... My story is on here somewhere - but short staory - I'm a wife, mother, work full time and have a pretty full life with my horses, home and daughter!

 

[carrollco]

Dayz: I'm a published writer and I make no bones about my condition on my blog. My friends, family, and co-workers all know I have the disease as does my publisher and all my fellow authors. Yes, at first I was ashamed, I mean who wants to talk about all this stuff. One day I woke up and thought hey, if this is my life, I'm not going down without a fight *and Astra's tough love* was what made me see things differently.

I went back to my doc, got on the proper meds, and I'm doing fantastic. I'm not perfect and probably never will be, but hey, that's OK. I'm me and if people don't want to read my books because I'm sick or I have to leave a client in the middle of a conversation, so be it.

Life is what you make it, curve balls and all.

 

[Dayz]

Thank you all for your response. I feel better eventhough I am in some fierce pain right now from my joints. Everyone is telling me I am going through a crisis and that I need to relax...It feels good to have people who understand and who know that I am not crazy. I feel horrible that for the past month I have been missing out on a lot due to all of these scary symptoms but I feel like I have to face the world. I could write a book with all I have gone through so far:lol: but I think thats all females. I did do one thing that was a step forward..I actually checked my stools :eek2: which I havent done for the last week for fear of seeing blood. No blood yay! This is so gross but I feel like no one else understands....

 

[mom2twogr8tkids]

Everyone is giving you great advice...you should listen. And stop using google!! lol I know it's hard bc you wanna know so badly what's wrong with you but sometimes it does you more harm than good. Don't freak out if you leave the day of your colonoscopy and don't know a thing. I know it will be nerve racking but sometimes you just gotta wait. However when I was diagnosed my Dr did a biopsy to send off but he told my mom that I was one of the worse cases he had ever seen and just knew I had crohn's. As for you, we're gonna hope it's not. But if it is, like everyone else has told you....it can be treated. Good luck to you and I'll keep you in my prayers!!

 

[Dayz]

No Chrons detected

I am just waking up from all the heavy duty sedation and my sister told me everything that happened (I remember some things but not all)
The doctor said everything is perfectly fine and that I can 100% rule out UC and Chrons. He said he saw no inflammation what so ever and took biopsys just to make sure. He also said I have hemorrhoid which is what has been cauing me pain and bleeding. He stated that the joint pain is unrelated as I don't have any stomach issues at the time. He wants to do an endoscopy because I have chest pains and he wants to check my upper GI. Is this also used for chrons or is just the colonscopy alone used? amazingly so my joint pain has almost vanished when right before the surgery I was getting aches and incredilble shooting pains in my leg- I am really starting to question my sanity at times which is the scariest part of all. So what do I do know besides wait for the biopsy? Do I ask for further testing? I am not 100% sure I have chrons and really dont want to waste anymore money if I don't have to. What should I do (besides see a counselor who I am seeing tomorrow). I have really let this consume me and I want to just stop with the testing and live with my results but of course I am a complete hypochondriac and I cant.

 

[Dayz]

Nevermind joint pain is back : ( I feel like I have arthritis! This is very frusterating

 

[ameslouise]

Hi Dayz - Well I'd say that's a good thing that the doc didn't find anything in there! But I think it's wise to continue testing so you can keep ruling things out. The endoscopy will show the upper part of your GI, but if you really want to see all the way thru, you have to have either a pill cam or a small bowel follow thru.

Good luck - don't give up -sometimes it takes a while to get a clear picture of what's going on and a firm DX.

- Amy

 

[Dayz]

Would they likely give me these tests even though everything turned out fine? once i test for these and if these come back should I do more testing or does that rule it out? I feel bad because these tests are so expensive and dont know if I should wait or just do it.

 

[ameslouise]

If you are still having GI symptoms, like D and pain, then persist for the tests. That's my opinion anyway...

 

[Dayz]

Thank you, I will definitley do that IBS runs in my family and everyone has different symtoms but mine is unique in that I have joint pain. Thats what worries me but I am going to keep in touch with my doc and ask for the pill cam if my joint pain persists. Thank you all for your amazing support somehow I will find out whats going in and get it treated. God bless all of you- true angels : )