My Story by Sprout

[sprout]

Hello. I feel pretty stupid right now for doing this, but it has been recommended to me for yrs. now and ... I guess I figured I'd actually try it. I mean I've been dealing with my Crohn's Disease all my life, just nobody believed me until I was around 16 yrs old that there was something wrong with me. I've been diagnosed since Feb. 4, 1998, right before my 18th b-day, and I have never done anything like this before. Didn't see the point in it really. "I have Crohn's, ok well I have to deal with it, right? ok Just leave me the hell alone then." Well those were always my thoughts anyway. What changed my mind, you may wonder. Well to tell you the truth I don't know, but I do know therpy (oh by the way, my spelling stinks) is not working. What over 13yrs now of it, and it still doesn't work. I suppose I feel a need to be able to whine and cry a bit without ... I have no idea. I'm just here, and just got out of the hospital again. My husband is worthless in the situation because he doesn't know what to do when I get sick like this, and he gets very frustrated in dealing with me. Hell he doesn't even believe in some of my illnesses, oh yeah, BTW I have plenty of those too, not just Crohn's. I just want to be able to talk to someone without feeling like I having a pitty party for myself, like everyone else makes me feel.
I know a great "How do you do?" start, but I really don't know where to start. I'm just here.:ybatty:

 

[mikeyarmo]

Welcome Sprout,

I am sorry to hear the trouble you have experienced with your disease. It seems like you have suffered for quite a long time. I am sorry you have trouble finding the support you desire in your life.

Hopefully this forum can help with that. As I am sure you can tell, we all suffer (or are close to those who suffer) from IBD and can relate to the experiences you have gone through.

I look forward to seeing you around the forum!

 

[AndiGirl]

Welcome to the forum Sprout! I think my brother was a lot like you when he was first diagnosed. We are two years apart (he's older), but I was diagnosed a little before he was. He is very supportive of me when I need to talk, but he doesn't seem to open up to me. We are here to support one another, so please don't feel like you are feeling sorry for yourself. Crohn's is a tough disease to deal with. I'm still trying to tell my brother that, but he seems to prefer to suffer in silence and to see his GI doctor when things get too bad.

 

[crazycanuck]

Well your off to a fine start if you have Mr. Mikeyarmo posting in Your Story thread.... never posted in mine. Jeesh. I'm just kidding but incase you weren't aware he was involved with starting these forums.

Anyway you've found the right place for what your describing. Nobody here thinks, "Oh god what a whiner and just deal with it already." Everybody here cares and I'm positive you'll find a ton of people going through exactly what you are on here. This is a place to vent, a place to celebrate, and a place of refuge from all of those who just don't understand. Rant away and "whine" all you like. You won't find me complain, just ask my family how I am when I get a "Man Cold".

 

[sprout]

Thank you all for your kind words. It has been quite a struggle for me, and sometimes I think I am still in denial. Other times I face it like a champ in someways, but over all I'm still scarred. Wow! can't even write this without crying, that's a new one. Usually if anyone ask me about my illness I just tell them a few things and act as though it's nothing, but in reality it took control of my life for a long time. I've had a few surgeries, and almost lost it when in the hospital this last week when the 1st diagnosis was "you have a blockage." It scarred the ever loving mess out of me. I knew I was not strong enough to go through it again, but thankfully it turned out to be just a stricture from scar tissue, or at least that's what they believe with SBFT and the multiple other test they ran. Anyway, thank you again. I pray through the help of kind people as yourselves that I will find the strength to be able to handle this, and come to a better understanding. Please take care,
Sprout:ybatty:

 

[Snookums]

Its an awful feeling when you get asked the how are you feeling question and your not sure how you should answer it. Im too honest sometimes and then I come away thinking that sounded all doom and gloom, but you know what sometimes it is. We only share what we feel comfortable sharing with that particular person who is asking, thats my view on it all anyway. At least with the honesty thing people will understand why you may be a little down, short tempered or tired. You can let it all out here, you dont have to do this alone, something I have come to realise in my short time as part of the forum. All the best reading up and keeping everyone updated about how you are.

 

[LucyL]

Hi Sprout and welcome.

I know what you mean about telling people how you feel. I have started always saying, "I'm on the mend." I say this everytime, whether I'm in extreme pain or actually having a better day... A lot of days I just want to crawl into bed and never come out. I feel like this disease is taking control of my every thought and that scares me, big time.

I guess my advise to you is allow yourself to feel your sad/frustrated thoughts, escape into that world of "why me" and "I'm so tired of all this" for an afternoon, or heck, a whole day, then get up, go back to your strong self and continue on, like you said, and deal with it as best you can.

Also, I have a very analytical husband (never shows emotion, very reserved) but I've learned to see the way he shows his concern for my health (for him it's in his cooking, his doing chorse before I ask, and spending more time with our son). He can't comfort me in the way I think I need, but he does care in his own way. See if you can find something in your husband's actions that might be a reflection of his love and support.

Unfortunately this is the deal we've been given, doesn't mean there's not a lot of great stuff out there for us to experience (I can still enjoy Modern Family despite my disease, and that comforts me in a way...).

Lucy