My Story

[missy12886]

Hello all,

I just joined the forum today. I'm so glad there is such support out there for Crohn's, because i really feel like i don't get any.

I was just recently diagnosed with crohn's back in october 2011. I was pregnant with my 3rd baby and i was in such excruciating pain that i thought i was in labor. Then all of a sudden i developed a fever and had to be hospitalized. That all happened in august of 2011. After a rigourous amount of CT scans, MRIs, Colonoscopy, and a ton of blood work, they finally diagnosed me as having crohn's in October. I was totally devastated. I had never heard of this disease before and was terrified because my doctor told me i had to be on medication for the rest of my life. I'm 25, i didn't ever think i'd have to take a medication so i wouldn't be in constant pain.

My doctor had me go on predisone, which i absolutely hated. So it didn't work at all with my pain. I was given percocet which didn't even touch the pain. So my doctor eventually put me on humira with mesalime (sp?) which seems to be working ok. I take my humira shot every 15 days and the other twice a day.

I had my son in September, by c section and just the build up from just having a baby and just being diagnosed, i just feel super depressed. My husband is upset with me because we don't have sex as often as we used to. I just have no interest, and i can't even talk myself into wanting to. I thought i had a sexual dysfunction, but i'm beginning to think it's because of the crohn's. Does anyone else have any similar cases? i'm at such a loss because i realy don't know what to do, or say to make my husband understand what i'm going through. Does anyone have any advice? I've tried explaining it to him, but it's like he forgets that the next time he wants to have sex and i have to constantly explain it to him.

Thanks for reading my story!

Melissa

 

[Gabismommy]

I have the same problem. It's hard to be in the mood when you are so worried and often in pain. I have terrible self esteem and I have to feel sexy to want to but it seems that I just don't feel that way anymore. My poor boyfriend is losing his mind over it. I feel bad but I don't even want to think about sex. I often get scared he will leave if I don't try harder. He gets depressed because I turn him down. It's all very frustrating. You are not alone. I hope things get better.

 

[Hexie]

Hi Missy

Am sorry to hear that you've had all this turmoil going on. I can't have children due to my Crohns and other medical problems but I don't have much of a sex drive - I can take it or leave it. My partner is 12 years younger than me and he's good as gold - if I don't want to then that's fine, we have lots of hugs instead.
You need to sit your husband down and explain that you've had a baby, and you've got Crohns - this means that sex is off the table at the moment. It's not that you don't love him but you don't feel well enough to be having sex. If he doesn't want to listen show him this forum - he'll realise he's not the only frustrated hubby/partner!

 

[SarahAnne]

Melissa

Sorry to hear about the problems you're having, especially with a new baby! (Congrats, BTW!)

The Crohn's diagnosis is just as new to your husband as it is to you. He probably has no idea how much you hurt, how tired you are, etc. If he's willing, have him go with you to your next appointment and have the GI explain a little bit of the disease to him. Hopefully, if he has a better understanding of what you are going through, it will help him to be patient while your body heals. Also let him know you aren't necessarily "rejecting" him or his advances, you may want to be intimate emotionally but physically your body just can't handle it right now.

Good luck with everything!

 

[magnolia]

Congratulations!!!

On the baby... So sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Hoping it clears up quickly!

 

[Angrybird]

Hi Missy, you are not alone :hug: Personally I find it very hard at times to feel attractive when I have just come out the bathroom after a massive bout of diarrhoea - not the biggest turn on for either of us really! Also when you are in pain and tired you just don't want to. My husband was initially worried that this was a rejection of him but once I explained things to him he realised I still find him attractive, it's just I don't always feel well enough. There are even times where he is more reluctant because he is worried about hurting me (bless his heart), my op definetly got to him on this one. Snuggles, snuggles and more snuggles are always a help for us. I do agree that perhaps your hubby needs to be more aware about your disease as a whole, either by attending appts if he doesn't already and having a good look at the forum. You also have a young baby to look after which will be taking up what little energy you have left. I hope things improve for you and know we are here if you need us,