My story

[lmr48]

Hey everyone...
I'm new to this so I thought I would start by telling my story. I'm a 48 yr old single mom of 3. I've had Crohns for 25 yrs. Luckily I dont have a lot of complications. After reading some of your stories I guess I'm pretty lucky. I've had 2 small bowel resections leaving me with about 40% of my small intestine and 75% of the large. Because I have less then 50% of my small intestine diarreha
is a constant reality. I also now have short bowel disease and all the nasty side affects that go along with it. My surgeon informed me after my last resection, that if I had to have another one I would end up with an ileostomy. Not something I'm looking forward to. I also had an anal abcess 8 yrs ago, they had to cut one of my sphincter layers so holding it in is very difficult .
Since my divorce i've never dated. I'm too embarrased. The thought of using someone else's bathroom is frightening. The odor is embarassing (one of the nasty affects of short bowel disease). I hate the thought of being alone but what choice do I have. I feel like I have a tether on my ankle. My kids are embarassed when they have friends over so I try not to eat much so I wont have to use the bathroom. I figure the less that goes in the less that will have to come out.
How many others are sinlge and afraid to have a relationship? For those that are
married how does your spose deal with your illness?

 

[coronetrt101]

Imr48,
Welcome to the forum and I am sorry to hear about your situation... My wife was a huge HERO when I first discovered I had Crohns and she literally nursed me back to health. She has stuck by my side the whole time and didnt flee like most would.

I wouldn't let Crohns run your life... or the terrorist win... (sorry couldnt help myself). but having no social life will take its toll also. The added stress definitely antagonizes the Crohns. IMHO....

(On edit) My Crohns is different than most as I get constipated.... and thats no fun either..

 

[My Butt Hurts]

Hi lmr, welcome to the forum. I am hoping that we can help you overcome some of your embarassment. We talk about poop and butts and stuff here like it's nothing. If you are comfortable, others will be more comfortable. I sent a picture of myself wearing a t-shirt that said "I occasionally crap my pants" to my entire workplace asking for Crohn's walk sponsors. Just today, A guy asked me if I was gonna crap my pants today, and if my light capris were a good choice. Dying of laughter! There are great guys out there - I wish you would try dating!
I have heard that you can do rectal kegals do strengthen your holding-it-in abilities. There are 2 different excercises for it, so google it for the correct technique. Welcome again!

 

[misscris]

Welcome to the forum Lmr!! I've asked questions about dating w/Crohns as well. I still haven't dated anybody since my diagnosis, so I don't know what to tell you about how to master it or not. I am the kind of person where what you see is what you get, and if you don't like it go away. And I include this disease into that statement as well. Good luck with everything and welcome. I'm sure you'll like all the people here, even some of us that are crazy. And MBH is right, everybody here talks about poop (I like the word poop) and everything else like it's nothing.


MBH: Rectal Kegals. I don't know why but those words make me giggle. hehe Also ... I love the idea of you sending out the shirt for the Crohn's walk sponsors. that's awesome. sounds like something I'd do too! hehe

 

[D Bergy]

My wife nagged me relentlessly until I finally got referred to a specialist who diagnosed me. I had no faith in the GP that I was seeing, and I was right on target. The Gastro was excellent, and diagnosed me in short order.

Other than that, she has been rather supportive. She is skeptical of some of my home made treatments, but I am kind of used to solving my own problems if I am able to, and she knows I usually can.

Dan

 

[bball diva]

Hello lmr and welcome!

I too am single with Crohn's. It is so difficult for me to date because I never know when I am going to feel well enough to go out. The last guy I was dating thought I was blowing him off when I said I didn't feel well enough to go out so he didn't ask me out again. I just get stuck with knowing when to tell a significant other about my illness. Obviously not on a first date, but when? If you do it too soon, it is extremely uncomfortable because it is a pretty personal thing to me. If you wait too long, then they feel betrayed because you didn't trust them enough to tell them!

Then there is the embarrassment of having to go to the bathroom all of the time. I never go to dinner on a date because there is so much I can't eat and I don't want to be in the bathroom all night. So, it is a little tricky with the dating thing. I still havn't figured out what to do about it. I just play it by ear and think that if the right guy comes along everything will work itself out!