Nervous about tomorrow :/

[Irene3]

So tomorrow I find out wether I need another recsection, which my GI is already pretty convinced about.:ywow:
The things I dread about another one, ironically have nothing to do with yet another surg,pain,hospital stay. Instead, just today even I had mum say 'at least I (as in she) work'. It gets to me to think, I smelled in uni twice, both times deferred because of hospital stays. I used to work when my 8year old was little, nights, and I'd still get her to play groups parks ect, and then it got so bad, I stopped working. After surgery I thought I'd do part time cleaning, twice I had to stop that too. Now, I want to be working part time, but if it's another surgery, by the time its surgeon appointments, then hosp stay, recovery....again, I guess 'just rest' and get well, while I feel so lazy and down about laying around.
The bigger concern is my daughter. Last time I was in hospital, she came and spent most days with me, we spoke 3 times a day (first thing, when shed get home from visiting, and before bed), and she still would cry and those words 'I miss you mimmy' hurt so much. I feel so bad every time I go to hospital. When I feel well, I can be so energetic to play with her, and do things in general, but it feels so long ago, when she was one and I was like that everyday. Now I feel I only have 'periods' of not feeling like I have a chronic illness, and I don't mean several days, but rather hours.
I guess of I need recsection, then that's that, but I'm worried. I so hope if it's major stricturing, he will consider dialation. After getting a no about everything I asked last time, Im starting to doubt he will agree to it.

I just want to do my 'pretend that it's just a small bowel issue and fix it with diet'. Iv backed out of 2 surgeries that way, one ending in emergency, so I know it would be dumb. I just pray it's not so badly structured that he HAS to do a recsection!!! I'm just about to move house as soon as I find another rental, and just want a normal routine with my bub, and a few days work maybe, so we're not struggling.

Sorry for the long post, Iv just been stressing tomorrows appointment, and now it's nearly time, I just feel so negative about the idea of another surgery. I feel like you guys are the only ones who would truly understand all this. I don't like talking to people about it... I say I have crohns, may need surg, blah blah, but deep down, somedays I just want to not feel lazy when sick, and all the other emotional stuff that comes with it. My little girl especially.:yfrown:

 

[carolhew]

Irene3, it sounds like you have already have been through a lot with Crohn's. I hpe you don't need surgery, but if you do I wish for you a speedy recovery! Sending you strength and good vibes.

 

[michellek_87]

Hi Irene3,

When I had my bowel resection a year ago, it was the hardest experience I have ever had in my lfie, but also the best because I am feeling so much better now. I was so sick that I couldnt go out and I had a terrible time trying to work, but since my recovery I have been traveling and doing the things I love that I could never have done before my surgery. Infact I was so depressed, I was practically bedridden and I thought I was never going to be able to travel or have kids, because I couldnt even take care of myself. My surgery gave me my life back and your right the recovery period stinks and its hard, but it comes with rewards too. I pray that everything goes well with you tomorrow, and if the verdict is surgery it is because the physicians believe you need it and hopefully it really will help you.

Lots of love!! goodluck <3

michelle

 

[Irene3]

Thank you for your kind words. I did a lot of praying too, and thankfully, there's only 10cm of severely diseased bowel. One of my fears was I'd have another 70cm cm recsected. I felt the same after my first recsection, or rather when my illeostomy was reversed Michelle, so thank you. I knew if he said I have to, then I'd go ahead with the recsection. But THANK GOD, he's happy for me to stay on Pred, while starting a new immune suppresant, (aza was no good for me), and then Humira in a month, which hopefully works better then Infliximab did. My GI thinks it was only because so much of my small intestine was severely diseased before, but 10cm was great news.
So so so happy not to need to have it recsected. If the mess don't work, as well as some diet and lifestyle changes (ie quitting ciggies), then fair enough, but I only ever want a recsection of theirs no hope of that part of my intestines working properly. For now, I just need to slowly introduce healthy foods, and get a little more active, and hopefully the imune suppressants and humira do their bit, to make it better.
Thanks again, it's wonderful to feel others understand.

 

[Manzyb]

yay! So happy for you that you dont' have to have another surgery. I hope you can turn things around with Humira and diet changes! Being more active does help me out as well as eating healthier foods.

I know a lot of people can't eat fruits and veggies, but I always feel the best when I stick to fruits veggies and lean proteins.

 

[Irene3]

Thanks Manzy. I think fruits and veg are good for me too. I wanted to stay mainly low resadue, just until I found out, it's not too badly strictured/ulcerated, but now I feel like I can start working towards SCD mainly, which should help the Candia too. so VERY happy!!! Thanks again xoxo