New here - worried about feeling better

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Joined
May 20, 2012
Messages
75
Location
Abingdon,
A quick background on me...

I had what I thought to be a stomach flu back in Feb of this year and went to my local clinic. They sent me to the ER because of bleeding. I was told that I was anemic and they thought it was just some sort of infection but I was admitted to the hospital for a few days. Met with a GI on the last day who wanted a follow up.

My symptoms continued and I followed up with my GI who diagnosed me with moderate to severe Crohn's in March. I was put on Lialda and Omeprazole but did not improve. I had weighed over 140lbs prior to this disease and now I only weigh about 105. My feet and ankles also swell up with fluid in the evenings which my GI attributed to a protein deficiency or just plain malnutrition due to all my my trips to the bathroom.

He prescribed me Lomotil to take 3 times a day and told me to double my Liada dose but still I had some days where I was going to the bathroom between 8-15 times (sometimes they were just what I call "extensions" of the previous trip...) but surprisingly the number started to drastically reduce just days before my 3rd Remicade infusion.

I had my 3rd infusion on May 15th and I'm not going to the bathroom as often. I also had control issues which are a lot better now.

The thing that worries me is... I'm not running to the bathroom anymore. Sometimes I feel gas moving around inside me for hours but nothing happens. I also notice I can get pretty bloated looking and that makes me worried even though I have no pain.

Why does feeling better worry me? I'm afraid it's just false hope... I'm turning 24 on June 27th and I just want to feel normal for my birthday.

Anyway, I don't know what I'm looking for by posting here but I just wanted to share with people who understand what I'm going through and can maybe offer some opinion. Thanks.
 
Heya man!

Just getting in touch to say I feel ya. I'm in the undiagnosed boat at the moment, but I understand how you feel. I have days where I'm feeling ok (that is, only pain and not feeling nausious and having no appetite), and I'm like "Am I getting better? I'll never figure out why I'm feeling so bad if I do!"

Of course I haven't been so lucky as to get to that better feeling yet!

All I can say is that for me, normal is not a target anymore. I would like to feel it, but I simply can't stomach (excuse the comment) the thought of going to sleep hoping to feel good, when I know that chances are I won't wake up without pain, let alone having a whole day without it.

Normal isn't my target. My target is happy. I can be disappointed if I target normal. I can be in pain, I can get the runs or be blocked up. But I can always plaster a smile on and not let it get me down. Don't worry about how you feel. Even the best of us have good days or bad days, healthy or not.

My point being, as condescending and optimistic and unrealistic as it sounds is that if you focus on material results (even health-wise) you will be disappointed. Or maybe not, who freaking knows, I certainly hope you aren't! Just keep doing what you're doing. You're starting to get better. Enjoy it. Soon enough you won't. Even if that soon enough is ninety years in the future when you're enjoying your retirement.

It's not false hope because you are feeling good TODAY. You can't enjoy tomorrow. Trust me on that one. That screwed me over last term in school (Ah I'll leave that project till I'm feeling a bit better). If you enjoy today, however, it will give you strength for your bad tomorrow, even if that bad tomorrow is in twenty years time.

Sorry for the book. I hope you can relate, and if not remember I'm just some crazy fellow on the internet who is wishing you the best.

Nathan
 
I had to laugh at your "extensions" comment in relation to bathroom visits - I know exactly what you mean!!
I hope you feel all better for your birthday.
 
I had to laugh at your "extensions" comment in relation to bathroom visits - I know exactly what you mean!!
I hope you feel all better for your birthday.

Oi, extensions, gave me a grin too. I'm glad I don't have diarreah too often. Every time I do, I feel like I should just move into the bathroom cause I never feel done.
 
Thank you guys for the comments.

It really helps me to read them.

I try to take everything one day at a time, because like you said... you can't enjoy tomorrow until it's today. Reminds me of a quote I read somewhere about the future not existing because by the time you're there, it's already the present. That kinda sounds weird, I might have the quote wrong but it's something like that haha.
 
I refer to them as "mini-series" poops - eg. Part one of a three part series" - announced with great flourish as if it were an unmissable entertainment event!!

Gotta keep myself amused.
 
raven: Yeah man you got the concept. That's the idea.

Samboi: Yeah always funny when you go the the bathroom like 4 times in a conversation.
 

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