New job soon - SCARED! Advice/help please?

[forum contributor]

Hi, fellow C's and UC's. I'm hoping you can help me.

Here's my background - I was diagnosed w/UC in August 2008, 2 months after coming back from a cruise w/my husband in June (on which I was incredibly sick, and it ruined our vacation). Because of this alone, I've lost 30 pounds.

I'm going to be starting a new job soon in a corporate environment and am very excited. At my present job, my boss knows about the UC, as I have needed time off for sick days, doctor appointments, tests, and hospital stays. I want to start my new job fresh and desperately don't want anyone to know - not even my new boss.

However, I have severe sudden urgency, and I'm terrified at the thought of "not making it" to the bathroom, having gas at the office, the horrible pain in my stomach prohibiting me from doing my job to the best of my ability, and being so sick in the morning (like I am EVERY morning) and being late for work because of it.

I haven't had a break from the diarrhea, pain, etc. since June when it all began.

PLEASE - if ANYONE has any advice, help, or suggestions on what I can do, or what you have done/are doing in order to be successfull (or at least alive) at work, please tell me. I've been at the same job for the last 12 years and I'm terrified. :frown:

THANK YOU!!!!!

 

[Cookie]

Hi Marrisa,

I don't think it's reasonable to expect that you can keep this from you boss. I think in the long run it will just cause you extra stress and make your condition worse. I think you will see that most people are very sympathetic to your condition, as long as you don't over use it as an excuse.

I have the same problem in the mornings and there are days when I am late and there is no way around it. I told my boss from the get go that I have problems in the mornings and that I will try my best to get in as early as possible, but I may need a little leeway. On days when I am late, I stay late. if I am not going to make it in by 9AM (usually shoot for 8AM), I call him and let him know. I always try to schedule my doc appointments at the beginning or end of the day so I can come in ealy or stay late, and if I have a procedure, I take a half day or whole day of my vacation.

I work in a corporate type job, so I don't have to work a set amount of hours. So I think as long as my boss sees that I am making an attempts to be fair, he does the same.

As far as my co-workers...they are on a need to know basis and most of them simply don't need to know! Starting a new job is stressful enough...please don't let this cause you any extra stress. It will all be ok!

 

[jamie2462]

Hi,

I'm sorry but I cannot stress strongly enough how much i think you should at least tell (preferably your employer) know that you have a "situation". I understand your wanting to keep it on the DL but emergency situations do happen and how are you going to explain running out of a HUGE BOARD MEETING?? I know I have to excuse myself occasionally from our meetings and if my boss didn't know, she's the type of lady that would say something to find out what's up.

As far as coworkers...no it's none of their business...and thankfully you don't answer to your peers..that's why there are bosses.

As far as being prepared I keep liners and pads at my desk in my locked cabinet, as well as boost for days when I am dragging and can't get moving, extra cash in an envelope (locked up) also incase I ever need to take a cab on home and am in just too much pain, as well as my doctors #s (all of them) are programmed into my phone and in an address book in my desk. (With a listing of the drugs I'm on)

I was at a point once where I was so sick I fell down at work...and if they hadn't of known I had crohn's disease and what I was taking they may have given me something that wouldn't interact well with my other drugs...

Through all of that I am not trying to say it will be too hard to do...what I am trying to say is that it is much better to be prepared. Have the things that work for you on hand to make your life easier. (comfort foods that don't hurt your gut, things I listed earlier.)

Good luck in your new endeavor!! I hope that this job works out very well for you...but remember..better safe then sorry..kind of like the condom you never use....at least you have it and are prepared for what follows.

 

[teeny5]

I was very upfront with my boss about my disease. I explained to him the basic information, what it does to your body, what the symptoms are, medications, etc. Just so he knows what is happening and could happen. I wasn't overly "woe is me" about it, just frank and informative. I wanted them to be aware of the disease. If I had a spurt of really bad days I would go into his office and let him know. I didn't want to advertise it to everyone, but felt that he should know so he didn't think I was slacking off or something. I also sat down with my HR manager to let her know the basics. I wanted her to know that it could possibly cause me to go on a leave or cause some unexpected sick days. They were all understanding and I think shocked at what I had to go through. In the end I think it made me look stronger for going through all of it and still trucking along at work.

Beyond those people I choose who I want to tell what about the disease. My closest friends at work know the most. Most others just know that I have an auto-immune condition that attacks the intestines and causes stomach upset. It was hard to hide it from everyone when I got down to 86 lbs. and then went out on a leave. But people who just started working there really have no idea, most I do explain a little if they ask.

My point being, I think it is important to tell your boss so they know what is going on and don't assume something else. Assumptions always get people into trouble. Beyond your boss it is up to you who you want to tell. I don't like to advertise my Crohn's either, but I am always open to talk if someone asks about it.

Jamie has a good point too to keep things around you at work to make you feel better. I too have all my Dr. numbers in my phone. I also keep Ensure handy just in case I am unable to eat. I keep all kinds of meds in my purse just in case.

Let us know how everything goes.

 

[forum contributor]

Thanks, everyone. I'm just really scared. I truly appreciate your input!

 

[cheeky]

i agree that you should talk to your boss. i happen to have very supportive coworkers, the thing is, i experienced symptoms in front of them... so it's kind of hard to hide. (i don't have the diarrhea but when i've had severe cramps and nausea, they can see i'm in pain and ask me what's wrong... and the day i was diagnosed we were at a retirement party when the pain became unbearable...so they were with me and knew more about my symptoms than my own family)...

so fortunately, i've had no problems, everyone's understanding and they encourage me to take care of myself when i do feel terrible.

i know it's scary, but i think it is more stressful/scary trying to hide it. good luck!