No one to talk to

[Chay]

I'll keep this short. I am a 32 year old female with Crohn's diagnosed at 19 yrs old. I've had three surgeries throughout the years and I'm currently not taking medication. I work part time and when I'm not at work I'm in bed a good amount of time. Partly b/c I'm tired and fatigued and partly b/c life feels overwhelming with the aches and pains of Crohn's.

I know I will have to choose medication soon (I've tried many including remicade and humira) but I am very skeptical.

I'm currently looking for a therapist b/c I feel like I have no one to talk to. Only one person at my job knows and keeping it in is causing me anxiety. Although I have a large family who love me tremendously I don't want to scare or burden anyone and tell them exactly how I've been feeling . They have been dealing with my Crohn's as long as I have and I know they will feel helpless if I give them the details about all of my crappy days.

I'm venting here b/c everyone here understands the isolation that this disease can causel. I had a friend tell me the other day "don't let it control your life"...um thanks for the advice but if you were in my shoes you would never say that.

I don't have a question. I just needed to vent and "talk" to someone. Thanks for listening. :ysmile:

Chay

 

[Price]

Yeah I get a bit miffed at "Don't let it control your life" too. I feel like I'd get a better feeling if they just said "Live long and prosper" instead. Neither are really advice

What meds have you got to choose between? A lot of people here know a lot of things, so they might be able to help. I've been on both remicade and humira myself but neither worked for me!

 

[afidz]

You are never alone in this community there is always someone to talk to and vent. Therapy is also a great way to get stuff out, so I hope you can find a therapist you like! There is almost always someone in the chatroom ( I practically live there) so if you want to come in there and get some stuff off your chest you are more than welcome!

 

[Smika]

I hate venting/complaining about how sick I am as well. Like you, I don't want to burden anyone. After all, people have enough of their own problems I'm sure they don't want to hear about mine. When people ask me how I'm feeling, I just reply "fine". When in reality I have been in some of the worst pain ever and been in and out of the hospital a lot with obstructions. Never thought of going to a shrink though. Thats a great idea! I may look into doing that myself. Until then, this wonderful forum will get me through the day, lol

 

[SalBarcia]

I tried talking with a therapist, but it didn't work. Unless the therapist was suffering from the same disease and I was, it wasn't something that I was going to consider. What helps me is speaking to others that are going through the exact same thing as I am this way I have people to relate to. After some time, I got tired of hearing advice from people who had no idea what I was feeling/going through.

My advice is two things.

1) Exchange numbers with somebody that also has Crohn's Disease, just like you. Have that person mentor you through your troubles.

2) Get involved with Crohn's support groups near your home. Those seemed to help me big time. I'm not from Spain, otherwise I would help you find a local chapter.


Best of Luck,


Salvatore Barcia
Crohn's Disease Patient
Staten Island, New York

 

[Hope345]

Chay,

Another welcome and to let you know there are many of us here to listen or chat.
My daughter has Crohns. I know it is not the same as having it, as she has told me many times-lol... but my heart is big and i want to help as much as possible.

take care and let us know how you are doing

Julie
baylees mom

 

[Chay]

Thank you SO much for the response guys. I feel some of the weight of it all lifting already.

Price - I don't even know what I will be choosing from. Last summer I sat down with my sister and wrote down pros and cons of the ones my doc suggested and I saw more cons than anything. I just got scared. Scared of cancer, side effects, not being able to have children someday...but I will have to work through these fears. Remicade did work for some years, Humira never did.

afidiz - I didn't know there was a chat room. Thank you for the suggestion!

Smika - "After all, people have enough of their own problems I'm sure they don't want to hear about mine. When people ask me how I'm feeling, I just reply "fine". When in reality I have been in some of the worst pain ever and been in..." Those are my thoughts exactly!

SalBarcia - I am actually a native New Yorker, born and raised. I moved to Spain in September to teach English as a second language. I figured if I'm going to have Crohn's issues I might as well have them while seeing the world. I needed a major change b/c I felt my life passing me by. I also wanted to come here to see if a different environment and different types of food would improve my health and mind. I think it has somewhat but I have different challenges here and finding an (English speaking) support group was one of them. I used to go to ccfa's support group and it really did help. I'll be back home in the summer to figure out the next steps of my life.

Julie345- Thank you, I feel your sincerity. I can't imagine what our parents go through also.

Chay

 

[Price]

Yeah there's a massive long list of cons with every medicine. Usually you won't get too many of them (if any) so it's not too bad. I mean I know some people here have problems with azathioprine but I've been fine with it in the 8 years of taking it! Just don't be afraid to cycle through them to see which one suits you best.

Also I'm in the chat room too, which I forget about every so often!

 

[Ya noy]

For what it's worth, I personally have gotten a lot more from attending support groups than therapists. I've tried different therapist and in fact, after 3 months of weekly sessions, the last therapist finally told me that he didn't feel I was getting much out it, and I basically agreed. Just having someone to listen to me vent wasn't what I was hoping to gain from therapy, and everything he recommended, I had already tried. I also could never get past the suspicion that he didn't really care, and was just trying to make me feel good because that's hat he was getting paid to do.

I have gained far more from community support groups, where everyone else is going through the same, or dealing with very similar problems and issues, who truly understand, can identify and where there is no doubt that their concern and empathy is genuine. That in itself I personally find more reassuring and comforting.

Therapists offer an outside perspective, but so do support groups, and I can read all the textbooks and studies myself. Maybe it's just me, but I tend to take advice from others who have walked in my shoes more to heart.

Everyone is different, and what works for one, doesn't necessarily work for all. Many find therapy more beneficial. Maybe I'm just not open enough to it.

I wish you all the best.