Ostomy and Clothing

[Nyx]

And I think it's easier for men to hide their ostomies...

 

[Jer's Girl]

I think you are right Cindy since their clothes tend to be looser. Still, I have found it pretty easy to hide, especially with my wraps. When I went swimming however, that was just swimsuit over bag, and as you can see, it was hidden pretty well.
My biggest problem is finding jeans that don’t smush it, but that just takes a little trial and error.

 

[seaofdreams]

I am so in awe of you ladies!
Rock those togs (Aussie slang translation: swimsuit)

 

[rottengut91]

This has by far been my favorite thread. I only had my ileo for three months (Dec-Feb'92), didn't really have the opportunity to wear a bathing suit. I didn't have the best of luck with mine either. My skin had bad reaction to adhesive, couldn't get a good seal, had lots of leaks.
You guys are very inspirational though. I am currently facing permanent ileo. I'm having alot of anxiety due to previous difficulties. I cried watching the video Kello attached. My biggest concern is intimacy issues with my husband. He's already gave his support, but how he's really going to react, I don't know. He's never seen an ostomy, it can be quite shocking for the first time. It took him a while to get used to all the poop, snot, and vomit that comes with kids, how's he going to feel about his wife wearing her poo in a bag around her waste. Maybe I'm just be paranoid. Probably. He really is wonderful, and I know he loves me very much. I'm just scared. I just always want him to find me appealing. Part of a woman's sex appeal comes from how sexy she views herself. Right now I have a draining fistula and I don't feel the least bit sexy.
I only hope that I can capture some of your self confidence. You ladies rock, and guys too.

 

[Nyx]

I was worried about intimacy as well when I first got my colostomy. Once I got a pouch cover it turned out to be alright! I always empty my bag prior to any 'fooling around', so I don't have to worry about that at all. There's also alot of lingerie out there that cover up the bag quite nicely (I usually wear babydoll style lingerie, so it's still sexy but loose at the waist). If you don't make a big deal about it, your husband won't either. I always just tell my bf that if he doesn't like it, I'll fart in his ear (long story there...lol...lets just say that that can happen on occasion..it's really kind of funny!). I actually haven't really shown my bf Oscar outside of his bag, it hasn't really been a priority. But I don't think he'd be grossed out, or think of me any less. I can't worry about that really. My bag is permanent, so I have to live with this for the rest of my life. It is what it is.

 

[rottengut91]

You're right, it is what it is. I know all this in my head, but emotionally I'm still trying to get over that hurdle. Reading everyone's posts gets me closer and closer.

 

[kello82]

This has by far been my favorite thread. I only had my ileo for three months (Dec-Feb'92), didn't really have the opportunity to wear a bathing suit. I didn't have the best of luck with mine either. My skin had bad reaction to adhesive, couldn't get a good seal, had lots of leaks.
You guys are very inspirational though. I am currently facing permanent ileo. I'm having alot of anxiety due to previous difficulties. I cried watching the video Kello attached. My biggest concern is intimacy issues with my husband. He's already gave his support, but how he's really going to react, I don't know. He's never seen an ostomy, it can be quite shocking for the first time. It took him a while to get used to all the poop, snot, and vomit that comes with kids, how's he going to feel about his wife wearing her poo in a bag around her waste. Maybe I'm just be paranoid. Probably. He really is wonderful, and I know he loves me very much. I'm just scared. I just always want him to find me appealing. Part of a woman's sex appeal comes from how sexy she views herself. Right now I have a draining fistula and I don't feel the least bit sexy.
I only hope that I can capture some of your self confidence. You ladies rock, and guys too.

aw im so sorry =/ i can hear your heartache in this post.

ditto on the fistula=not the least bit sexy. before my ileo i was crapping myself like 20 times a day lol. not sexy.....

but still, i think its normal to mourn the loss of well 'being normal' you know? especially as your little digestive system has been something you have dedicated so much time and care to....it almost feels like giving up on it thats how i feel at least.
finally i got my head wrapped around the temp ileo (i havent had any intestine removed, it was just a diversion ileo), and like you am looking at making it permanent as my colon is still not a happy camper.
and that, i still struggle with. extremely.
so what im trying to say is that dont feel bad for feeling sad. you deserve to feel sad about a potential loss of normalcy.

oh and also, something for me that helps with my confidence IS being able to wear clothes that i like and feel good in. and the magic of it is that no one ever knows!! and that is confidence building to me, that i can pull off having a bag of poo on my stomach lol, with no change to who i am and who i project.
does that make sense?
its like those chicks you see who are wearing the WEIRDEST clothes or whatever, that anyone else would look like a freak in, but in some odd way she rocks it haha!
despite all that i still have self concious issues.....swimming in public or at a party or something...thats rough. more my body as a whole...my PG scars, stretch marks from damn pred, a birthmark on my leg, being so skinny and ill looking....those things i am more uncomfortable about... but having the stoma there just adds to it a little bit of course.

ah well. my guess is that if you do have to have a perm ileo.....you will be feeling so much better physically and emotionally, and have more confidence as a result. and that in turn will make you desireable to hubby, plus the fact that youll probably be in the mood more often hahah, and that will make you attractive too.

 

[Outpatient]

You can hardly tell it is there!! that is great. Do you find your self emptying out your bag a lot to keep to profile down?

 

[LOSTnut]

Wedll, Kello, thanks to you and evrybody else who posted. I just got mine, hopefully temporary, and now also feel a lot better and don't worry too much about clothes. Still, haven't worn anything else but the ICU gown though, and wonder how it will work out with some "real" clothes.
All you gals look absolutely awe inspiring and hands down gorgeous! =)

 

[JSummer]

This post made me cry. Just seeing those pictures brought back horrible memories I've burried deep down inside me. Of infected skin, leaking bags (worst ever was having one come off overnight and my boyfirend and I woke up in a pile of poo), anxiety about going out, the list goes on....But its very inspiring to know you have adapted so well to living with a bag... I was lucky to only have mine for 6 months (luckily in the winter and I had been so sick I didn't even go back to work during that time). I used to think if it became permanent I'd never, ever be able to go to the beach again, wear my cute summer clothes again, or go camping, ect.... Its wonderful to see you can and look totally "normal." Thank you. So much. Its clear it can be done if you get past the psychological barrier.

 

[spingirl]

I am new to this forum - today. I am so happy to have seen this post. Thank you so much for sharing such intimate photos. I, too, looked online and this is, by far, the most reassuring and helpful. Thank you thank you thank you.

 

[Kris]

Great post! I'm 33 and facing a temp. ileostomy. One minute I'm crying, the next I feel like I can do it, and the next minute I'm snapping at everyone around me. Such a roller coaster of emotion. I worry about what my husband will think, what others will think if they find out. I want to feel and look beautiful still. Seeing the pictures of how great you look in NORMAL clothes gives me so much hope. I won't have to live in sweatpants the rest of my life. I hope others post more pics of how well they hide their bag under normal clothes. Kello, you are so inspirational! You are young and beautiful, and you make me feel like if you can get through this with so much confidence then so can I

 

[katiebel]

Great post Kell!! Im new here and just got mine first ileostomy a week and a half ago. Is yours permanant? Mind will be reversed in 3 months. I also wear the belt all the time because that's what the nurse said!! I keep a paper type clip on the bottom it is black on the top and the clip part you could open the black part of it?? Don't know if you know what kind I mean. I learned to keep it on ever since it came open while I was standing in the kitchen and felt something warm coming down my leg! I use the hollister brand and tried the shorter ones and seem to have a harder time empting the short one. So back to the longer ones they have more of a spout. Thank u again and good luck. Katie

 

[suschex]

I know this thread is really old but I just came across it today and wanted to say thank you to everyone who posted! Sometimes I wish they would just go ahead and take out my colon. I was only diagnosed a month ago but the 40mg of pred has done nothing to help my colon and the doctor said it is pancolonic sever crohn's with extensive damage due to the years and years of not having been diagnosed/treated. I have felt so sick for so long I just want it out and to feel healthy! I don't have the big D so I guess they think that makes it less of an issue to deal with or something but I have terrible C and a non-functioning colon that just sits and does nothing at all or sometimes will just spasm.

Anyway, thank you all for the posts and pics...makes we want to just get on with it more than I already did!