Ostomy and depression

[partlycloudy]

I don't have an ostomy now but had one about 9 years ago after an emergency colon resection. I had it for 3 months. Not Crohn's related.

I'm curious. I spent that 3 months pretty depressed due to this....trauma is the only way I can say it felt. In fact, reading in this forum has brought back a lot of those feelings of sadness. Having Crohn's though I'm prepared for the possibility that one day I may be facing this situation. Hopefully not but it's possible.

Have you all had to deal with depression while you adjusted? If so how long did it last? I do realize my depression had a lot to do with being unprepared for anything like that at the time but also wonder if it's pretty normal since it's a pretty big event.

I do have my share of funny stoma stories.

 

[CDDad]

I guess it's different for everyone. I'm not sure I had depression, but it definitely required 3 to 4 months of adjustment and then acceptance. Just recovering from major surgery is so hard, and then to add in the ostomy, it's enough to get anyone depressed.

Just this morning I was grumbling under my breath about this $&^%$ ostomy bag. It's just ALWAYS there. I was just wrapping a towel around myself after a shower and of course the bag is in the way. But for me, it will always be in the way, so I just got on with shaving and forgot about it.

Mine is permanent so I think people like me need to reach acceptance and get on with life. There really is no other choice. But, for people wth temporary ostomies, they know it is going away in a few months, so they really never need to reach acceptance - which maybe leads to more depression and difficulties while they have it.

I put a lot of time and effort into learning everything I could about an ostomy and pouching systems and related equipment. Why would a person invest that time if it's termporary? I don't think I would. Without the knowledge, a temp might have more equipment issues, etc.

 

[Guest]

i agree that it's different for everyone, and our feelings can differ at times too..

mine was emergency surgery, so i had no time to adjust beforehand, and had no choice but to accept it afterwards. it has annoyed and frustrated me over the years, but i can't honestly say it's depressed me..... but i have known and counselled many stoma patients for whom depression has certainly been a part of their new or prospective life with their stoma.... with the right advice though, particularly from people who've gone through the same, i believe most of the reasons behind this depression can be talked through and settled with most people, in time..

 

[Nyx]

Like dingbat, my surgery was an emergency, so I didn't have the opportunity to get depressed about it. And also like Joe, my ostomy is permanent, so I accepted it right away and got on with my life. It's remarkable how quickly you get used to having the darn thing really. I don't even notice it now (until I put my sexy lingerie on and the bag hangs down...but then I just laugh and tell my b/f it's part of the outfit). The way I see it, you can either laugh about it or cry about it. I choose to laugh. I feel so much better that any cons are far outweighed by the pros.

But that's just my experience. If you're really concerned about it, that's what therapists are for. They can help you work through any issues you may have.

Good luck to you!

 

[partlycloudy]

Thank you for the responses everyone.

JennJenn, my story is almost identical to your's. You currently don't have one, right? I wonder if the difference is we both knew our's was temporary? Well, I too had terrors that mine wasn't temporary, but I also still had that temporary mindset so wasn't really "forced" into accepting it.

I don't know. Looking back I should have gone on medication during that time. I think it would have been far less traumatizing.

 

[Jennjenn]

I do not have one. Only did for the 5 weeks a few years back. I do not agree with the medication part though. I am glad that I did not get forced into taking anything. I probably would not have even if it were in front of me. I told the therapist who came in after the surgery to leave also because of the theory that she was using. It had nothing to do with my past. The depression was due to that present situation. I believe if the problem is still there that is affecting your mindset and happiness, either eliminating the problem or going through certain theories used for therapy sessions would help. I fortunately was able to go with the first option.

 

[Outpatient]

I think mood plays a lot with Crohns. I myself am on two antidepressants. I feel that it is a good idea to have a councilor to talk to and manage meds (if you take them) I wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted.

 

[Terriernut]

I was told mine was going to be temp, today I was told it was permanent most likely. I haven't told my partner Grahame of 9 years yet, but I am 'on the floor' as we say in the UK. I just cant believe it. My partner was barely accepting of the temp one. I was accepting of it, but I cant get my head around it being permanent. I feel my body has just betrayed me! I am back to GP for antidepressants. Not only do I have to deal with menopause (which is depressing enough) but then this and all the complications from surgery which I have had. And although I'm a very positive person normally, this has 'knocked me for six' today!
Misty

 

[ameslouise]

Misty - sorry to hear about your surprising news. It's unfortunate that your partner is not more understanding. I hope he takes the news okay. It's understable that it will take a while for you to adjust to the news. Hang in there.

When I had my temp back in 2002, my colon had perforated and I had to have it removed. No choice. So when I woke up from emergency surgery, I was just so happy to be feeling better, I didnt' even care about the bag!

Now I am on the verge of getting a permanent one and I am ecstatic. I can't wait to live a normal life again. I realize I am not the norm and that my attitude can be clawingly upbeat at times. But I look at it like the weather - nothing I can do to change it, so I might as well put on my raincoat and enjoy the storm.

- Amy

 

[CDDad]

Hey Misty - I had to google that expression "knocked me for six" - I like it, we should use it here in the US too.
Anyway, sorry about your bad news. I suppose you could always get a second opinion.
Mine was perm from the start - I can imagine that this sudden change of plan would be upsetting!

And Amy - you are so amazingly upbeat!

 

[Terriernut]

Amy and Joe, I'm a 'Yank' but have been in the UK for so long I use their expressions. I can also say 'I'm on the floor' with the news. But I will prevail. I go from 'well then, why didnt you take the whole bloody thing out in the first place' to...well, if they ever find a way to fix it.... But ya know, I've heard this just around the corner theres a cure for years, and I dont believe it anymore. So now I'm just mad they didnt take the whole colon and have done with it! Now I will STILL face more trouble with Crohns (which was suspected but never fully diagnosed until Monday) and have a bag on top of it. WHY on earth didnt they just 'shit or get off the pot' with the colon? I know ya'll will have a laugh about that phrase!! (from my mother...god rest her)
Misty

 

[ameslouise]

I can understand your frustration Misty!

Can I still use "shit or get off the pot" after I get my ostomy? (One of MY mom's favorite expressions, too!) Or do I need to change to, "Shit or get off the bag?" :rof:

Hang in there, girl!

- Amy

 

[Terriernut]

I can understand your frustration Misty!

Can I still use "shit or get off the pot" after I get my ostomy? (One of MY mom's favorite expressions, too!) Or do I need to change to, "Shit or get off the bag?" :rof:

Hang in there, girl!

- Amy

Ya gotta love our Mom's!!! I think Amy that we can still use 'shit or get off the pot', technically...ahem. And let us (bless ya Amy LOPO laugh our pouch off..because ya have to laugh, it's the only way forward, although I warn ya, it can cause a hernia!!!)
Misty

 

[Silvermoon]

...Have you all had to deal with depression while you adjusted? If so how long did it last? I do realize my depression had a lot to do with being unprepared for anything like that at the time but also wonder if it's pretty normal since it's a pretty big event....

Depression and chronic illness pretty much go hand in hand.... Some people maybe have a day or two where they feel sorry for themselves because their life isn't "normal" and something in their daily routine interfered with something they really wanted to do that day.... In some diseases, like IBD, the depression can be a little stronger as some of the "natural" antidepressants we get from food are not absorbed into the body properly or at all, and that can affect the chemical balance that keeps us "happy"....

I was fully prepared for my ostomy - begged doctors for years for one as it sounded like it ould be so much better running to the bathroom every hour - especially as I am an "outdoor" girl - ATVing, snowmobiling, camping, trapping, etc - plus it would be nice to not have to stop work, or worry about having to run out of the room while helping a client....

But alas, it is not working as well as I hoped it would - having issues with stoma and getting barriers to seal/stick, etc - and unfortunately have found it more trouble than helpful. So unfortunately I am feelin pretty sorry for myself right now and am having a hard time finding anything to be happy or thankful about . (And for those who have read some of my earlier posts, you know I am normally a pretty happy upbeat person and how forward I was looking to this operation..... )

I couldn't imagine how I would feel if it was an unexpected procedure.... I think your mood and attitude about it totally influences how you handle it - if you normally get upset at things that interupt your normal life, you probably aren't going to be a happy camper. I think councelling is an awesome idea to help sort through the feelings. And if medication is needed after that, I don't think there is anything wrong with that either. Think of it like this: we take meds temporarily to help fix our physical bodies when there is something wrong them; anti-depressants may be needed to "temporarily fix" the chemical imbalance that may be going on in your body - which really is a "physical" ailment anyway......