Yes it is very easy for me to let my mind run wild because I am terrified of dying although people always say you won't know it anyways. Well that doesn't help me. I think about it all the time and it is very hard to live my life day to day going through this. My husband just does not understand and it makes it worse for me.
First I was diagnosed with Colitis back in Dec 2006 and then Dec 2008 I was diagnosed with Crohn's. Both of those times I had extreme unbearable pain which I took myself to the hospital for because I thought I had food poisoning. If only that had been the case, but I was not that lucky. I used to take Asacol and that stopped working, then a ton of Prednisone, then enticort, remicade and now Lialda and nothing else except the great vitamins I take. My last colonoscopy was 2008 and I am terrified to go get another one because the last two times I went in 2006 and 2008 they immediately put me in the hospital and just the thought of going back there scares the hell out of me. I know that's crazy, but that is just the way I am, so that's why I have not gone back to have another one. I let too much of fear control me and I know I shouldn't do that, but I do.
I don't remember where they said the Crohn's was located originally to be honest with you. I have no idea. Both times with colitis and crohn's (before) I knew what I had the pain was on my right side, but low and very intense. They had to put a wet rag in my mouth to keep my from screaming in pain when I went into the hospital in 2008. That is how bad the pain was. I thought I was dying from the inside out.
Most foods I eat don't bother my stomach at all. I have been doing great except for the pain under my rib cage. It was pretty intense last night, then this morning it's gone and now it's back.
Amazing you were just diagnosed. I am so sorry to hear that and I pray that things will get better for you. I guess the reason I get so scared is I do way too much reading on the doctor internet sites about different things or pains that I feel and then I think that is what it is. I don't want to stop reading though because I am trying to keep myself up to date on what this disease can do and is doing to my body. It has destroyed my hair for sure, my joints, muscles and my way of living. It's very hard being with somebody who just doesn't understand Crohn's and doesn't take into consideration how I feel most of the time. I have asked my husband to read about it, but he won't, so not much I can do about that. I appreciate your information. I go back to my doctor the 30th of this month and I'm almost positive he will make me get the colonoscopy this time around since it has been so long. That is a good think I know because maybe I can find out what is going on inside me.
Thanks again.
