Scared of other apartments

[youngj328]

Hey,

So this is my first post. I've had Crohn's for 6 years now and I've dated before, but I've never felt as sick as I do now while in a real relationship. I've gone through phases where the idea of sex, despite the fact that I'm a guy, was not appealing. However, now I'm in a relationship for over a year (longest since a divorce) and I am starting to get really horrible pains, cramps, bloating, the usual suspects. My girlfriend understands and knew that I tend not to want to have sex when I'm sick, and she's great about it. However, now I'm even apprehensive about sleeping at her place. We usually sleep at her place because she lives in NYC and she works and I go to school there, while my apartment is further away from the city. Just the idea of being in her apartment with her roommate and without all my personal comforts of home is terrifying. Has anyone else ever had a similar experience? How did you get through it? Anyone else have any input? Any and all help would be great!! Thanks!

 

[lesliegg]

Hi youngj383, I have had Crohn's for a long long time. I know how it feels to be out of my comfort zone with Crohn's. Boy do I! Having the most horrible smelling farts and BMs(as we Crohnies are known for) is never really fun, especially when others who don't necessarily know your medical problems are around. Hopefully, this was one of the things you are concerned about or other wise I just dumped a few more issues your way. Whatever it is though, be it noisy, grumbling bellies,smells or even your eating habits, the thing that I find helps me is being able to laugh at myself. If you aren't ready to have a sit down with people and spill your guts, (no pun intended) then I say laughter is the best medicine. For instance I put a "warning danger zone" sign up on my bathroom door and I boast at being the best at being able to clear a room. ( If I fart)
If you are worried about running to the bathroom every five minutes and laughing at it all hasn't helped, try eating bland foods and broth so your belly won't feel as bad.
If you haven't learned this yet, being as you are young, never let anyone talk you into doing anything that you don't want to do, like drink or eat the spiciest foods. Stand up for yourself and be your own person. Good luck, I hope you feel better soon! Keep smiling. Peace!

 

[xJillx]

I completely know what you are going through as I had a few similar experiences with sleeping away from home and sharing close quarters with others. It can be really stressful. The worst and most difficult experience was when I needed to share a hotel room with a co-worker while on business. To get through it, I simply had to be completely open and honest with what was going on. I mean, I didn't provide in depth details, but I explained my illness. Luckily, they were very understanding. But to make it less embarrassing while I was in the bathroom, I'd sometimes run the faucet on either the sink of shower for background noise. I know it is a waste of water, but without it, I'd have a major anxiety attack. Hopefully your GF's bathroom has a really loud fan, but if not, give my approach a shot!

 

[Jennifer]

Is there any chance you could bring an overnight bag that contains things from your place that you may need (could be creams, toilet paper, small book, air freshener, extra underwear etc.)? That's what I used to do when I was staying the night at a boyfriend's house. Might be easy for you to do since you're going to school cause you could throw it all in your back pack.

LOL I used to run the water too Jill when the bathroom didn't have a fan. I'd even splash the water to make it seem like I was washing my hands real good.

 

[lesliegg]

That made me tear up. I do not think you should hide this from your girlfriend. I know it can be hard for us to admit that something hurts or bothers us enough to bring tears to our eyes but if you two are going to be together as a couple, it would help her to know this about you. You wouldn't want her to think it was something you did wrong or even her that is upsetting you. That"s just me though. I am not a guy.

 

[lookame]

Well...I started showing symptoms before my fiance(boyfriend at the time) moved in. One time in particular I didn't make it to the bathroom in time while hanging out with him at his apartment and I had to run upstairs and shower before going home. Thankfully it was just us and his roomies were all gone(he lived with 3 other people and shared a room with one of them as well...) I didn't sleep over there except for on the weekends and my syptoms weren't as bad then either. A couple of months later we moved in together and he's dealt with some pretty nasty stuff. He's gone through the no sex thing, no intimacy(which when I'm really sick I don't want to be touched in any way including hugs and kisses)

My advice is to sit her down and talk with how you feel about the situation perhaps she'll be ok with staying at your apartment until things settle down or maybe she'll let you move some things in to help make you feel more comfortable. It sounds like she's being very understanding about your condition so if you chat with her about what is going on with you I bet she'll be understanding about your want to be at home. I know it can be extreamly embarrassing with roomates while your symptomatic

 

[xJillx]

I agree with those above me - be honest with your GF. I think she'd appreciate it, and I am sure she'd understand.

Also, great news to hear that you Cimzia is already making you feel better. I hope you feel better and better each day!