Scared of Surgery

[Charlene]

Thank you all for your messages of support
I saw the surgeon this morning & i did not get a good vibe from him, hes made me more scared, more anxious, more upset, but my mum & bf think im being ridiculous! Iv tried to explain to them they dont know how i feel as they are not going through this! Another problem im having is the hospital i have to go to, iv had very bad experiences at that hospital & now the surgeon i saw at that hospital has not made me feel calm or relaxed, i dont know what to do?! He also told me he will be cutting me from my belly button down, now not only does the bag scare me but now having a massive scar at least 10cm long scares me ;,( i feel very alone in this ;,( my mum & bf dont understand ;,(

Do i go for the surgery that the surgeon i get a bad vibe from that cant "pencil me in" til 30th jan even though he can see im in agony??
Or do i just go on a liquid diet & try to ease the pain myself?

Help? ;,(
Charlene

 

[Gutrot]

You can always opt for surgery later, you can't get your gut put back.

My doctor would not operate on me to remove anything. He said he hadn't seen anyone have their symptoms go away and not reoccur years later, by removing a section. He said it usually offers a few to several years of relief and the disease comes back in the same area on previously healthy tissue - along with all the things to deal with as a result of surgery and complications and alterred bowel performance and possibly altered gut.

For example the portion of the gut that best absorbs certain nutrients, or performs a certain digestive function that might be somewhat working, it drastically reduces your general health and really ties you to the doctor and playing fix-it with your body to compensate for the rest of your life, more so than not doing the surgery.

If you have not exhausted all options, and it isn't immediately life threatening, which it sounds like if they are making you wait and didnt make room for you immediately, I consider that a no go for surgery.

You would be very likely moving from one bad situation to another (don't mean to offend anyone, but I personally consider shitting into a bag, even pain free, a bad situation).

 

[jlanier]

I have the big scar, and had the bag. I had no problems with having the bag. I was in an incredible amount of pain, to the point that my colon and small intestine had actually perforated. So basically there were no other options but to have emergency surgery, and have a temporary ileostomy. I dont consider having a bag a bad situation. I went from only having maybe 1 somewhat pain free day a week to not having any pain. Dont let the possibility of surgery scare you. I can understand not being confident in your surgeon, or the hospital that you would be staying.

 

[Jessi]

Hi Charlene. :bigwave:

I hope it's okay that I've moved this thread to the surgery forum. I think you'll get more attention here. :hug:

 

[Terriernut]

Charlene! I understand you are scared. Surgeons also dont have the best bedside manner, to say the least. I have to say, sometimes the grumpiest, coldest surgeons, are also the best at their jobs. Sad, but true.

A liquid diet wont cure you unfortunately, or we'd all be on it, all the time. If you've gotten to the point of needing a resection, the sooner the better. That way it's out, and you can get on with living your life!!! If you are in the hospital you dont like, you wont be there that long. Once you are feeling better and out, you can take better control of things. But you need to be well, and have your strength up to do so!

Did the surgeon say you would NEED a temporary bag? Or was that just worse case scenario? A temp bag will NOT be the worst thing to worry about, believe me. As for scars, they fade. Especially as you are young! Scars from stretchmarks can be worse! Really! I'm sending you major big huggggggsssss. I know you will be ok. Please take care of it before it's an emergency. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[kjhngisd]

Hi Charlene,
I'm so sorry you feel alone and scared. And I'm sorry you don't feel well supported by the medical folks. That's rough too.

But you need to consider the risks too. You don't want surgery, which is understandable, but if you're in pain, you need to know the other options and the risks. My wife is in the hospital now because she tried to "tough it out" and ended up with an infected abscess.
My wife tried the liquid diet to give the anitbiotics more time to work, but it didn't help.

Everyone's different. But you need to yell. The surgeons (as mentioned) are often hard to work with. So yell louder. We've had better luck with the G/I's, although the surgeons in the hospital are great. (we got the same scheduling thing from our surgeon, by the way -- it's one of the reasons we took the G/I's offer to admit us.).

Do what's right for you. Don't try to "tough it out". Don't worry about whether other people think you're doing the right thing-- it's not their body. If you're scared (and who wouldn't be?) you need to get enough medical opinions so that you know your options. Unfortunately, the problem is that there are huge risks either way. So you need to understand them and make your choices well. Bags are annoying, but it's not the end of the world. Make them tell you, bring your bf with you and make him listen too. Get 2nd, 3rd, and 4th opinions. You only have one body.

Please, Please take care of yourself.
--kevin

 

[Nyx]

You have to do what's right for you. Of course surgery is terrifying...but it's not the end of the world. Don't let your condition get so out of hand that you have have emergency surgery like I did (mind you, it turned out the be the best thing for me in the end). As mentioned, get a second, third, or fourth opinion. Having a bag isn't the worst thing in the world; I have a permanent one and it saved my life. I hardly even notice it anymore...it's become a part of my life - my pain free, med free, eat-whatever-I-want life...lol It's better than being dead..that was my other option.

 

[bkbigfish]

Surgery was the best thing I have ever done, of course I waited too long. Has small bowel ressection in Feb 11, 2011, after a short recovery of 5 weeks, I was feeling like a new man. I had a fistula leaking out of my side, and 2 hosp. stays, then finally the surgeon talked me into it. I now can eat anything and I have gained 25 lbs. I know everyone heals different, but this was the best thing I have ever done and I regret waiting so long, good luck, Billy.

 

[Rl_gardner]

I had surgery 8wks ago today and feel great. I already had my bag for 18months before having my colon and rectum removed. I was also cut own my belly I can honestly say that the first couple o f day were tough but I was so amazed how quickly the body heals I was up within 2 days of the op. Lots of rest and keeping onto of the pain killers really help. I am still having my dressings changed daily but it is getting much easier. I stayed I. Hospital for 10 days as I had a little infection but I was happy to stay in and rest.
Could you ask to be transferred to another surgeon/hospital if your not happy. I live in Hertfordshire but ad my operation in London as the colorectal teams there are very good it meant I ad to travel bu it was worth it as I felt so comfortable there.
Having a bag is one of the best things that happened to me