Seems like it's mostly moms in here?

Crohn's Disease Forum

Help Support Crohn's Disease Forum:

muppet

muppet

Joined
Aug 10, 2011
Messages
1,304
I'm not trying to start a gender war or anything.. but it seems as though this section is dominated by moms of kids with Crohn's. I mean, I know we have the odd dad out here (I'm an odd dad for sure! :D), but I wonder why it is that we don't have more guys doing the research and pounding the pavement for their kids' conditions?

I wonder if guys are afraid of all the ladies here, or if guys are just less likely to turn to the internet (or forums, specifically) for support? (I know I was not big on support groups for the first two decades (and a half?) of my Crohn's experience). Is there anything we should/could/want-to do to make the dads feel welcome here?

Just some Friday rumination on my part, I guess. I just wonder why this seems like a girls' club. Maybe I'm totally wrong. :ysmile:
 
Holy S*&T! Muppet your'e a guy?! Sorry you have to leave...fast...before Mary pulls out her ball squeezing vice and FW goes all ape with her rolling pin.

Haha...I love that you're a guy..and dutch too when he comes to visit. Say what you want but I do think the genders think differently about things and I love the male view of things.

As for my hubby, well he leaves the house at 4:15 a.m. and doesn't walk back into the house until 7:30 p.,. on and early night. Works at a busy investment firm and doesn't have a minute to answer a text or call from me much less check the internet...plus I think big brother at his company watches everything. Then when he gets home he wants to spend time with the fam not on the computer. But don't worry I regurgitate everything for him so he is in the know. Well, no not really, I am a control freak and would never let him go alone to an appointment or make a decision. I tell him everything so in case I unexpectedly leave this world he has the info and will do things my way.

I used to work also but it was clear everyone was suffering and things not getting done. So we took the economic hit and clearly divided the labor. He works I handle all learning, health, social etc issues for the kids. We share chores.

We may seem like a scary bunch but we are just a bunch of kittens.
 
LOL, my wife isn't nearly confrontational enough with doctors (or anybody else) for this job. Well, I shouldn't say that I guess, as a psych nurse she sure stands up to psychiatrists at work all day, but when it comes to her own doctors or the kids' doctors it's my job to be the bully. Also my job to do all the research and reading and regurgitating. She just doesn't like homework, I guess. ;) She tells me I'm better at it but I think that just means she's shirking. Hehe.

I've often spoken to Chris about becoming a stay-at-home dad but she's not buying my line. ;) We'd have to move back into an apartment if we tried it, I'm sure.

Seems your financial hit wasn't so bad, you're still living in Fairfield where the National Guard protected your estates during Sandy. :D We didn't lose power in Sandy for once, but during Irene and Alfred and the week following each, I sat home in the dark with my 24" machete in case the meth house dwellers down the street got any ideas... :D
 
OMG! :rof::rof::rof: Literally with tears in my eyes.

muppet said:
She tells me I'm better at it but I think that just means she's shirking. Hehe. :D
Click to expand...

Yeah I tried to tell hubby that about laundry but he didn't buy it. And he is the wuss when it comes to docs. Doesn't question a thing...takes easy way out..Yeah sure take these 5,000 pills a day and I will feel better sure thing doc!
 
Yep yep. I'm pretty much the reason my 14 year old daughter Sarah still has a colon, didn't go on Remicade until the last minute (and failed it, hard, incidentally, which I see somewhat as vindication terrible as that may sound. :p ), and Izzy my 3 year old daughter finally got recognition of her odd developmental deficits that fit between the testing metrics and made her "not qualify" for birth to three until I finally annoyed enough people that she was fast-tracked into an Autism evaluation and diagnosed (which I didn't buy either, but it got her a speech therapist and an ABA therapist and she TALKS and SMILES and MAKES EYE CONTACT now) Incidentally, I doubt she'd be diagnosed with autism today. Who ever heard of autism being "cured"? It can't be, so I don't think she ever had it... don't even get me started on Bristol Hospital and how they narrowly avoided being sued by us over Izzy's birth.

Am I rambling.. I'm rambling. OK I'm done. :D

Oh, and my wife tells me I'm TERRIBLE at the laundry and should never do it. :wink:
 
I think my husband would prefer to think he doesn't have Crohn's (yes he takes his medicine, see his doctor and take care of himself) but if he were to come on here he might have to actually face the fact that he has Crohn's. I do tell him everything I've learned but he can't even be bothered to call the doctor to make his own appt. It would never happen if I didn't call. In fact when he was first dx'd. He had abdominal pain and a high fever for a week. I came home from work and he had the heat turned up so high it was 100 in the house and he was sitting there with a blanket and shivering, of course he went to work the next day. I called his GP made in appt. that day called him at work and told him I was picking him up at 11:00 for an 11:30 appt with his doc. He was in the hospital by 4:00 that afternoon have a 50cc abscess drained and spent the next week in the hospital with the surgeon checking everyday to see if they need to do additional surgery.
I don't want Jack to ever get to that situation so I take charge.
 
You're not female? OMGosh. This is soooo news to me! Guess I'll have to watch those pronouns from now on.

No more assumptions about gender identity just because a person is posting here.

I guess the avatar should have been a clue. Although there's nothing to stop a woman from using a gun toting frog as her avatar. Except good taste maybe.

Actually choosing Kermit to tote an automatic weapon (that is an automatic weapon right?) seems kind of, well, an oxymoron don't you think?

Regardless of your gender, you are welcome here in our little and ever expanding club. And I will try to utilize the correct pronouns when I refer to you in the third person M.

Patricia


(How's that everybody? Did I make up for my ****oo? I don't think I hurt her feelings before but you never know.)
 
:DYes muppet is a man people.
Hasn't anyone notice that he types with aggression? :voodoo:
Who types like that....except Mary and her vice grips.
 
Well Patricia I'll forgive you, you seem like a good guy. :D

When it comes to these aesthetic issues, avatars and such, there's no accounting for taste, is there...? :eek:utahere:

Kermit has long been my favorite, but he's perhaps a bit too passive when it comes to the confrontations we often face as Crohn's patients and parents, so I thought he looked good with an assertiveness upgrade. :D

As far as welcome, I'll kindly refer you to my join date and gently remind you that I was here first. On that note, I welcome (most of) you ladies, and please mind your feet on the upholstery. Thank you. :kiss:
 
:rof: Here First:rof:

Haha yeah you know how that goes...it was your life, your home etc until we women move in and fix it and make it all better than it was before.

You're Welcome.
 
Oh, how women have "fixed" my life. I'm not sure that thread is appropriate for this forum...:kissgrits:
 
My husband asked my once where would he be with out me....
Well I said..... in a dirty house, wearing dirty clothes, eating off dirty dishes
and cuddling with your dog to keep warm because you forgot to pay the bills!!!!
 
I'll just say my oldest is not my wife's biological daughter, and that I was a single dad for a bit. Without getting into the whole soap opera, let me assure you that I'm almost as good a mom as any woman out there. :p
 
I believe you!!!
I think in drag and some make-up you would put crohnsinct to shame on her prettiest day!:D
 
It's the high heels I'll never understand. Firstly I'm not sure they come in my men's size 12, and secondly I think that some NASA engineers might have to come up with a material for the stiletto heels that would be able to hold me up without buckling. Crohn's has certainly never stunted my growth. :)

Patricia, glad to hear what? I've been gibbering away, so you'll have to be more specific!
 
I guess we will have to keep the guy bashing to a minimum now that you've come out of hiding muppet! And crohnsinct, no more pole talk! :blush: Yes farmwife, I could tell from muppet's posts that he was a guy. All the questions sound like my hubs. He's good at the Dr's office because he doesn't back down from getting an answer to a question!


Seriously, I think you're on to something. We know Dads love their IBD kiddos, but coming on the forum would be like stopping for directions! My DH would spend 5 hours putting a grill together wrong before he would take the instructions out of the plastic bag :ywow: Our household is like crohnsincts. DH leaves the research up to me because I am a research hound and I do most of the GI visits. Besides, even if he does some research, I get in the middle of it!

An official "welcome back"! Now carry on!
 
Patricia56 said:
See my edit for clarity. There was an intervening (interfering!) post.
Click to expand...

Well I had to go with "almost" only because I haven't yet figured out how to deliver one of the little buggers, but with medical technology as it is, hey, I'm young yet... :D
 
jmk

OMGosh

:rof::rof::rof::sheep::sheep:

I will have you know that the directions thing is NOT limited to the gender with, well you know, round parts in the lower half. No indeed. Applies to the gender with round parts in the upper half too.
 
Right.

You may wear size 12 shoes and carry an automatic weapon but that does not mean you are ready to withstand the rigors of 9 months of pregnancy followed by the glory of childbirth.

And I agree that medical technology is advancing at a rapid pace but somehow I don't think this is going to be at the top of the priority list. In addition, I feel fairly secure in asserting that most male scientists would sabotage any such project in any way possible.

Even if you have lost all reason they have not.

But it's a nice thought, says the mother of twins carried to 4 days before their due date and delivered the natural way with no pain meds after 5 hours of the fastest and hardest labor the L&D staff had seen in a really, really long time. That was after 14 weeks on bed rest with about 12 trips to ER to have labor stopped and 18 hours of contractions every 5 mins with no cervical change when they let me off bed rest in week 37. The day after I delivered I weighed 50 pounds less than the day before and my kids only weighed 12 #s 14 oz total (6# 6 oz + 6# 8 oz) out of that.
 
Pat there are people on this forum who may know better but I contend that 30 years of Crohn's, without surgery, without pain meds (except very sparingly following surgery), has probably got a pretty good run on childbirth at times, in terms of pain. :)

One particular general surgeon seemed to delight in lancing my abscesses in his office without anesthesia (or by injecting anesthesia directly into my anal sphincter, then doing the procedure quickly before it could fully take effect.)

Not that it's a pissing contest. We all know I'm better equipped to win one of THOSE...
 
muppet said:
One particular general surgeon seemed to delight in lancing my abscesses in his office without anesthesia (or by injecting anesthesia directly into my anal sphincter, then doing the procedure quickly before it could fully take effect.)

QUOTE]

:ywow:

I don't think he liked you!:shifty: At ALL!:D
Click to expand...
 
Ouch. And why didn't you kick that guy all the way across the room?

I will say the one advantage to childbirth is that once it's over, it's OVER. And you have something to show for all that work. So I can see how you might want to be able to do that.

As for the pissing contest, well, I have heard of these methods by which female persons can piss standing up but I personally have never felt inclined to try them. Pretty sure I'd just make a mess of it.

Got to go. Got angels to make!
 
muppet said:
I'm not trying to start a gender war or anything.. but it seems as though this section is dominated by moms of kids with Crohn's. I mean, I know we have the odd dad out here (I'm an odd dad for sure! :D), but I wonder why it is that we don't have more guys doing the research and pounding the pavement for their kids' conditions?
Click to expand...

You didn't need to ask that muppet! Just tap into your feminine side for the answer! :lol:
 
Speaking as an "odd" mom, it does seem to be! It's a generalization, right, but women tend to be more social anyway, actively supportive, sharing all kinds of gory details - especially moms! and especially when they are worried about their kids! But we won't hold it against any dads who want to speak up. I think they are out there lurking, just don't post as often. :)
 
I dunno. I might buy the social thing, but the mix seems to be a little more balanced outside of the parents forum...

I think Dusty may be calling me a sissy... :eek2:
 
:lol:

As much as I don't like to gender stereotype we can't get away from the fact that in most cases, note I say most not all! :lol:, the Mother is the nurturer in the family. I do believe that the role of Mother and Father are far more blended these days but it is still often the case when it comes to role of 'nurse' it often falls to Mother and it also a role that a Mother will naturally assume.

Of course it may also be that all the oestrogen wafting around here scares them off! :But being a sissy you fit right in! :ybiggrin:
 
Dusty legions of geeks and beta males give the hairy eyeball to your mom-as-nurterer nonsense. :)
 
Yeah right muppet, you think that if it makes you happy. :wink:

Did you notice none of the Mum's here needed a gun in their avatar? Just sayin' :ylol:
 
Yikes, frogs, guns, ****s, balls and childbirth now that's a thread to get excited about!
 
LMFAO Clash! :rof:

Don't forget the one eyed trouser snakes and fannies. That's Aussie fannies not Yankee ones. :ybiggrin:
 
Well muppet...I feel your pain....it seems to be me and a sea of women....wait? Is that a bad thing??
Anyhow, I have mentioned the whole woman club going on before but I think they finally let me in "the club"......
Sorry that I've been so scarce lately....things have been better for us so I guess I'm not scouring the site for info lately.....Ill have to make it a point to come on more and see who I might be able to help.......
Anyways, glad to see another dad here.....
 
I am shocked that this thread got so wildly out of hand in such short time ;)
DD's father used to get so frustrated as Izz's doc and I chatted away re: her care...he was LOST!! I directed him to this forum and he was active for about a day. He doesn't like to consider the "what if's" (that are imperative to figuring out the next step) and will defer to the doc in all decisions. This is partly why I manage her care...I am fairly opinionated and want my voice heard. I initiated Paleo, enteral nutrition via ng, insisted on MRI vs CT, and avoided hospitalization for "observation" numerous times.
Love hearing a dad's point of view...and glad that you are so involved, M!
 
Clash you left out the high heels. I think that's what led us to childbirth.

As weird as it sounds, I can totally see those two things going together.

Common denominator is _______________________?
 
Muppet & Dutch are just in touch with their feminine sides. :). That's not a bad thing! Gotcha in the club! :)

My hubs can't do all the "what ifs" either. He stays on the duck hunting forum. Lol

J.
 
Patricia56 said:
I guess the avatar should have been a clue. Although there's nothing to stop a woman from using a gun toting frog as her avatar. Except good taste maybe.

Patricia
Click to expand...


Oh My! You completely clued me in on the gun. All this time I thought it was a guitar :ylol2: but now I see that it isn't. :D
 
This is funny! I love my hubby -- he's good at a lot of stuff (like balancing the checkbook, paying bills on time, mowing the lawn, going to work and making sure the laundry gets moved to the dryer) but medical stuff is NOT one of them. For good reason -- the guy has basically never had a medical malady. Besides a common cold, and a root canal, he's never even had braces. No broken bones. Not a single surgery. No weird auto-immune conditions, and definitely not Crohn's. I've had it all. So I am the pretend doctor in the family! :)
 
I am raising my 3 girls with the help of my wonderful husband their step father. I do most things medical.

Sarah was sick last Christmas, her father dropped her home and continued with his plans.
 
muppet said:
LOL, my wife isn't nearly confrontational enough with doctors (or anybody else) for this job. Well, I shouldn't say that I guess, as a psych nurse :D
Click to expand...

Aaaah! Just dawned on me. Ya know how they say all women have a project with their men. Some improve wardrobe, some homes, some resume. Well your wife is a psych nurse....just sayin.......
 

Similar threads

F
Is this biopsy enough for an official Crohns diagnosis?
Replies
17
Views
753
my little penguin
my little penguin
Papantoine
Neglect?
Replies
2
Views
579
Bufford
Bufford
A
What would you do?
Replies
22
Views
3K
Delta_hippo
D
C
Jaw swelling,
Replies
9
Views
1K
asadmom
A
K
Possible Crohn’s disease
Replies
10
Views
2K
musicalwiz
M

Latest posts

Back
Top