Serious question for older males only

[Kev]

OK, the lounge is for those 18 and over, and lets hope that also means 'adult' in the maturity of any potential responders or contributors.. cause this is a serious query!

I've noticed (but was uncomfortable talking about it in open forum where children could read it, in fact, I have been loathe to even discuss it with my GI, a woman) the following...

I'm a male, in my 50's.. Had a vasectomy after the last of my kids were born 20 yrs ago. Have a healthy sex life, and a normal libido for a man my age. However, since this disease, I have experienced the following.. and only during a flare or downturn.

My 'physical' libido goes thru the roof.. Essentially, my body responds (completely of its own volition) in the way it did when I first went thru puberty to even the slightest stimuli.. Now, in talking about this, I'm leaving myself wide open to puns like.. well, it's no big deal.. Or.. what are you complaining about? But I am being totally real and serious about this.. Frankly, I'm glad I'm the age that I am, and for younger men, it may be (think I'll use the term 'difficult' rather than 'hard') to understand/comprehend this, but it is nice to reach a point in life where you aren't really driven or pestered by your penis every other minute. That's the honest to god truth.. It's like, hey, I'm glad I don't need viagara, but I'll be snickered that I may need saltpeter. Getting harassed by ones sexual organs is something that I gladly put behind me, and to have it re-assert itself, especially during downturns, is adding insult to injury. I mean, if it did it occasionally, when I was feeling okay, that isn't so bad.. Hey, I could live with that. But for it to happen only when I'm at my worst... when it's the last thing I want to think of, and it just won't go away..

I thought at first this was a side effect of meds, or my diet, regimen, etc. I have since been able to realize that this only occurs during a downturn, it is not a part of a drug reaction or interaction, and that the minute my downturn stops, it just goes away.. I think it may be caused by bloating, or pressure on the prostate, or just a side effect of blood coagulation or pooling in the abdominal region during a downturn. OK, so in desperation so that I don't have to resort to asking my young
(and dammit) attractive female GI whether this is typical, can any other male who has remotely experienced or heard of something similar help an old fellow out?

Seriously!!!

 

[Jeff D.]

I know I am omly 18 but when I am in a flare I experience the same thing as you. It's like all of a sudden I have my buddy there and I just think what the hell. I don't always know why it's like that but it's strange. The worst part is that most of the time my ass hurts a lot and having my buddy there makes it hurt even more because of the movement in thte taint area.

 

[Kev]

well Jeff, thank you so very much for responding. Was starting to think I was off my rocker.. Now.. if only you were 30 years older and still experiencing the same thing.

When I was your age, that extra activity wasn't a curse, or a symptom, just nature..

and it does hurt.. and it is embarrassing, and it won't go away, and it pisses me off (pardon the french) that something I used to associate with pleasurable activity now is a 'symptom' of a flare... not to mention that is sure doesnt' help to have this ON top of the mood swings from the pred.. Talk about BAD timing..

If I were to try to put the physical discomfort from this into words, to me it feels like a semi permanent 'charlie horse' cramp essentially between genitals & rectum

As much as I dislike using vernacular expressions (because some may take offense while others - such as myself - think it merely displays a lack of tact or intelligence)
the expression 'blue balls' come to mind. It does exist, it is a painful condition, and in this case, it doesn't subside with sexual release or by taking pain killers, etc..

Ahhh, hell... Anyway, Jeff.. Thanks again. You may never know how good it was to hear that someone else experienced this... that I'm not hallucinating, or alone.

Kevin

I owe you one, buddy!

 

[Jeff D.]

Yeah man its like if I don't feel bad I'm fine and feel the same as many other young men but then once in a flare I am crazy and get that feeling. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Kev]

Well, the pred magic is slow and unreliable this time out. i've managed, just barely, to stay out of the hospital.. but my doc may send me in anyway next week (11th).

As for this symptom, knowing someone else has run into it helps, at least morale wise.. Either it is rare, or else anyone else with it finds it way too embarrassing to talk about... and considering some of the stuff that gets talked about on here, thats really saying something. I know I can't see myself talking about it to my GI, partly because shes' a woman, but mostly because regardless of her gender, it is sooo embarrassing, AND, in the overall scheme of things, it is just so ridiculous. It certainly isn't life or death... but just another ignoble indignity this disease chose to subject me to... It's like adding insult to injury... and it certainly irks the hell out of me... and, esp with the pred on top of it, takes a lot of joy away from me daily.

I guess all of the other guys on this site who don't have this problem are real lucky

 

[D Bergy]

Certainly is a strange reaction. I would think it would work the opposite way. I do not really have flares,as such so I do not have the same circumstances.

When I was sick and bloated before surgery I did not notice much difference one way or the other. I was more tired so I suppose that did not help my libido any.

I can't even think of a far out explanation for your reaction. And I am good at it.

I am glad I am not ruled by my sex drive anymore. My wife is probably even more glad. I had it bad when I was a younger man. Jeff knows exactly what thats all about.

D Bergy

 

[Kev]

welll, I just ain't as young as I used to be.. But, lighthearted approach to the issue aside.. My wacky theory is that either the inflamation of the colon, or the collecting of blood, does one or two things as an aftereffect.. either pressure or fluid buildup near the prostate, or bloating or inflamation in the area affects the hormonal levels, ...

All I know for sure is... there is pain, which isn't fun to begin with.. but when the pain also not only gnaws at you physically, but continues to hound you psychologically, it... for want of a better term, really becomes a pain.

My uncle lost his leg in the war... yet from time to time after, it would still hurt. He was able to tolerate it.. what he couldn't tolerate was when his missing leg itched

not sure if that's an apt analogy...

 

[Cara Fusinato]

Since yall joined in with our feminine postings, I thought I would just chime in here . . . is there anything you are taking or any changes during a flare-up that might be blood vessel dilators? Do you take more of anything? Does the increased blood flow to that general region from the body responding to the situation somehow miss and dilate other blood vessels in that area? That's how Viagra and Levitra and the ones off TV work, by dilating blood vessels in that certain area of a male anatomy . . . perhaps?

 

[Kev]

Hey Cara, no problem with the join in... I wasn't trying to exclude anyone, just hoping somebody else has/had this problem.. misery loves company, don't ya know

No, no other meds or anything.. No viagra or anything along those lines. No b/p med or anything similar.. Just pred and salofalk.. which I take daily.. and yet this issue is only present during a flare... I've experienced it pre pred... even pre salofalk.. so it is not related to any of my meds...

 

[DanSJVDavis]

Hm, don't really have that problem during a flare; more the opposite. Course, I'm usually randy and ready most days, which my wife loves. When I'm having a lot of pain, however, it kinda kills the mood for me and therefore my ability to keep things solid, so to speak. Although, I have noted that having an orgasm during a flare kinda makes things calm down a bit for a few afterward. Doesn't fix the problem, but sometimes makes me feel a little better for a little bit.

 

[Cara Fusinato]

So at that point . . . you want the orgasm without the physical exertion? Hmmm. There's a couple good ways . . .

From the female daring to view this thread :shifty-t:

 

[DanSJVDavis]

couple good ways . . .

That's what got me in trouble with the kissy sticker I mentioned in the father's day thread.

 

[Kev]

OK, you two.. Am I going to have to cool you off with a bucket of ice water? kidding!!

Hey, exertion or non exertion, it's all good. and, the benefits of sexual release for the issues of IBD (cramping, pain relief, etc..) are not to be dismissed lightly. the best pain relief you can get comes from sex, and this method has been touted for years for the relief of cramping, etc during menses.. No, despite my 'personal' issue, I still enjoy a healthy, vibrant sex life... however, during a flare, when this issue is in the house (so to speak) no amount of sexual release will make it stop..

OK, so picture this.. let's say you had a 'tooth', the approx size of a full grown male fist. and it throbbed and ached non stop. despite everything you did, took or tried

and your only prior experience with this feeling pre-disease/pre flare, was totally associated with the one activity that would resolve it.. but now that activity has no effect on it at all.. none.. zero.. nada.. yet despite that rationalization, the 'brain' continues to believe, or your body is conditioned to believe, that it will still work..

Can anyone appreciate the totally viscious nature of the cyclical hell I'm going thru

 

[merrywidow]

hi, can i put in my tuppence worth? if you have extra sexual urges during a flare up, could the extra bowel motions be stimulating the prosate gland? when the prosate gland is stimulated this gives a increase in sexual urges. regards sharon x

 

[Kev]

you are most welcome to put in your tuppence worth (although it raises visions of mary poppins in my head) The problem is it isn't so much an increase in my sexual urges per se.. I have noticed that my moods, sexual or otherwise, are magnified by my prednisone.. but that isn't what is going on either. I don't know if there exists a male to female equivalent I can use, or a proper analogy to make. The closest that I could suggest, and I admit it is a stretch, is that my experience has taught me that many women experience a heightened physical desire or urge, even if circumstances dictate otherwise, during their menstrual cycle. for some, it presents a problem resolving... but at least it can be resolved. so, if one accepts this crude analogy, imagine it occuring literally 24X7 during one of these episodes and despite the otherwise all over release of sex, this particular issue persists. I just get (I was going to say frustrated, but that denotes sexual tension, which this
isn't - it just feels extremely similar, damned near identical) 'pissed off' because it takes days, sometimes weeks, to subside.., and in the interim, it messes with my sexual psychii.. (for want of a better term).. Like, when I feel that physical feeling, I tend to wonder.. is it normal, maybe because its' been a while, or is it abnormal, a sign of a pending flare or downturn? Talk about adding insult to injury, sheesh!

ah, see, this has turned into a major whining session. sorry about that. thanks for the input. I just wish it were prostate related.. then it could be readily rectified..
Or is that rectumfied? ;-)