- Joined
- Apr 13, 2014
- Messages
- 23
Hi all, just a bit of background, I work in a male dominated industry as a manager of many teams. I admit I do have high expectations of myself and team members because at the end of the day I am ultimately responsible to deliver multiple projects successfully.
Two weeks ago, I got called out publicly in an email that had some very serious allegations. Some of the allegations were, she is rude, she is disrespectful, she is not conductive to team work, she is the reason one person quit the company and the list goes on. I felt it was a complete character assassination by the individual and a completely inappropriate forum to draw attention areas he felt required improvement.
I spent most that night in tears, researching a defense to the allegations and am able unequivocally refute everyone of them with documented proof including support from a myriad of other team members (49+).
This kind of character assassination sent my body into a tailspin yet I was expected to go to work and keep my chin high.
I spoke at length with my hubby and he suggested I force taking it to HR because it this email is toxic, unprofessional and detrimental to my well being. Which I did and they will not talk with me until I am back at work due to protocol. UGH
To add insult to injury, the fellow is union and I am not because I am management. I met with my team lead and was less than impressed. She did not condone the behavior of the individual and agreed on one hand that the email was not appropriate; however, she suggested that their group needs to be treated with kid gloves cuz of the old boys group culture and their god complex that will probably never change. Additionally, she implied that we as PM's need to change our behaviors somewhat to keep the working relationships productive.
Need less to say, I lost it, had an absolute melt down and blasted her with a barrage of reasons why this approach is not cool.
Long story short, I subsequently had to meet with our director, I had excruciating pain in my belly, my face was swollen up like a balloon, my emotional state was compromised, my joints were killing me and I was told I AM THE ONE WHO HAS TO CHANGE MY BEHAVIORS!!!! I must apologize to the author of the email. I had better not let this happen again. I need to be stronger, I need to leave my illness at the door and keep home and work separate, I need rebuild the lines of communication and relationship building.
Meanwhile the person who wrote the email is snug as a bug at work, at home and in health and I am on 6 weeks stress/crohns flare leave with an increase in my meds and the addition of prednisone.
How does someone deal with stress at this level because I am at my limit?
Two weeks ago, I got called out publicly in an email that had some very serious allegations. Some of the allegations were, she is rude, she is disrespectful, she is not conductive to team work, she is the reason one person quit the company and the list goes on. I felt it was a complete character assassination by the individual and a completely inappropriate forum to draw attention areas he felt required improvement.
I spent most that night in tears, researching a defense to the allegations and am able unequivocally refute everyone of them with documented proof including support from a myriad of other team members (49+).
This kind of character assassination sent my body into a tailspin yet I was expected to go to work and keep my chin high.
I spoke at length with my hubby and he suggested I force taking it to HR because it this email is toxic, unprofessional and detrimental to my well being. Which I did and they will not talk with me until I am back at work due to protocol. UGH
To add insult to injury, the fellow is union and I am not because I am management. I met with my team lead and was less than impressed. She did not condone the behavior of the individual and agreed on one hand that the email was not appropriate; however, she suggested that their group needs to be treated with kid gloves cuz of the old boys group culture and their god complex that will probably never change. Additionally, she implied that we as PM's need to change our behaviors somewhat to keep the working relationships productive.
Need less to say, I lost it, had an absolute melt down and blasted her with a barrage of reasons why this approach is not cool.
Long story short, I subsequently had to meet with our director, I had excruciating pain in my belly, my face was swollen up like a balloon, my emotional state was compromised, my joints were killing me and I was told I AM THE ONE WHO HAS TO CHANGE MY BEHAVIORS!!!! I must apologize to the author of the email. I had better not let this happen again. I need to be stronger, I need to leave my illness at the door and keep home and work separate, I need rebuild the lines of communication and relationship building.
Meanwhile the person who wrote the email is snug as a bug at work, at home and in health and I am on 6 weeks stress/crohns flare leave with an increase in my meds and the addition of prednisone.
How does someone deal with stress at this level because I am at my limit?
