Sick of my life

[Coherent]

I am officially fed up with my life. Got a severe allergic reaction to Remicade after 6 years (Almost died, throat closed, etc). Been off for 6 weeks and I am really starting to feel really bad withdrawals. Headaches, bone aches, my skin hurts to the touch, every muscle in my body aches. I am in college for Police Foundations and when my P'Ed teacher comes up to me and says go on the bikes up stairs because the work out is too "Intense" for me, I blew up. I am officially sick of my life and I cry thinking how everyone has a better life then me. I just turned 19 and I cannot live like this anymore. I am starting Humira next week and the side effects seem very scary. The only thing that helps me with the stress, physiological pain, and pain in general is MJ. It sucks how people think that people who smoke are no lives. Even my room mate thinks im a no life just for doing it for my health and he never lets me forget about it. It has been almost 11 years since I have been diagnosed.

I am 6'1, 19, 121 LBS. I look like utter shit..



I just want a normal life.

 

[kiny]

I feel for you, they really need better and safer medication for this disease, it's ridiculous at the moment.

 

[Light Blb]

Ciao Gaetano! (I know how to say your name)
Have hope! It's so easy to say, right? But I have been sick most of my life. I think of my sickness as coming in waves like the ocean. I live near the coast. I try to ride out the waves and wait for some good days, or even good hours. God bless you, I am praying for you! You are not alone. And anyone named Gaetano is cute!!

 

[Coherent]

Ciao Gaetano! (I know how to say your name)
Have hope! It's so easy to say, right? But I have been sick most of my life. I think of my sickness as coming in waves like the ocean. I live near the coast. I try to ride out the waves and wait for some good days, or even good hours. God bless you, I am praying for you! You are not alone. And anyone named Gaetano is cute!!

Ahaha Thanks :ybiggrin:

I truly love my name because even I have never heard it before. I just really like it. I would love to live in the states by the ocean to help me calm my life, it's just the medication cost and doctors costs etc. I have some good days also, then I just remind myself how skinny I look. I have heard a lot of people say to me that I am very cute, I just need to put some pounds on. Its even scarier when your 90 year old neighbor says that also

But I reassured my self also. I hit a deer at 3am int he summer, I called 911 for an insurance claim, the officer that helped me ALSO has Crohn's. It made me so happy (Not in a cruel way LOL). Atleast I iknow people with this stupid disease can also be what they truely want to be in life. I really want to help people.

I know for a fact that once I gain weight, and some tone, my life WILL be 100% better. I just need to find that key that will unlock it.

 

[Light Blb]

I KNEW IT! A cute Italian. Who cares about the weight, it will come back. One day you will be old like me and wish you could lose a few pounds. Oh, and I have no insurance. I am glad I got a smile out of you. It sounded like you were posting from the roof or something!
Hugs from old American lady

 

[Coherent]

I KNEW IT! A cute Italian. Who cares about the weight, it will come back. One day you will be old like me and wish you could lose a few pounds. Oh, and I have no insurance. I am glad I got a smile out of you. It sounded like you were posting from the roof or something!
Hugs from old American lady

What really hurt though, was that for a second, I wanted to join the Canadian Forces. I called a recruiter and unfortunately I cant because of this disease. It sucks but what can you do ;P

Its alright, Ill just stick to my war games

 

[Spooky1]

Just a little warning, check for the throat closing up, mine did on humira! Others find humira a saving grace. good luck

 

[AlliRuns]

Hey hang in there. I know what it's like, I'm in the CF (just been diagnosed so still waiting for the decision on medical release), I'm use to being the girl who can run circles around everyone, do more push ups than the boys and march with a ruck sack that's twice the size of my body and still walk march faster than everyone else, lately I've been joining the gimp squad for PT because running has been causing me to go into gut wrenching pain. It's humiliating. Hopefully the Humira works for you and you can have a normal quality of life.

 

[Ozboz]

Dude I just had a smoke in front of my parents they know it helps me. Today i had lots of pain and nausea whipped out my vaporiser had a few tokes had a nap feel great so who gives a crap what people think and can be so judgemental up on they're high horses when they haven't got a clue with what we put up with daily with crohns. At the end of the day if it helps just do whats best for you if its smoking MJ then go ahead just do what helps and screw them about what they think