So now you tell me

[juicy24]

so now you tell me

So I am currently in remission which is great but I have been going to thearpy and decided to leave my boyfriend of 7 yrs because the thearpist is making me realize that things are not good. I knew this a long time ago. Should have left when he left me in the hospital when i had surgery he used the excuse he didn't have time to drive 20 miles because he was working full time. He came 3 days out of the 7 i was there. He also was the one who volunteered to help me. I did not ask him to help me in anyway. There of course theres been other stuff that has gone on. He used to be very supportive emotionally until it stopped. Trying to figure out what I had done, I realized that he started treating me differently after I got sick.Took me a while to figure this out and I am not sure why! Dummy me!!!! He told me today that he can't really handle me being sick. It scares him and it makes him angry. WHY THE HELL DIDN"T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE!!!! He's mad that im leaving that im giving up on "us" HA! there is no us. He bitc*s about taking me to a colonoscopy because its early in the morning. He knows that I have not slept all night and have been sick, and he wants me to drive there! What I don't understand is the fact that hes mad im leaving but yet hes the one who can't deal with being with someone whos sick! WTF!!
Anyone else had this happen?:ybatty::ybatty:

 

[Astra]

When I had my hysterectomy 11 years ago I was recovering for 6 months.
One day I asked my husband for some Corn Flakes and he said...
'F*** Off, there's nowt wrong with your legs, get them yourself'
This was a turning point for me and so began the downward spiral of our relationship. I so had my eyes opened!
It took me a further 7 years putting up with this *****, until one day I threw him out, after 28 years!
His manipulation, control and anger suddenly turned and he hit me cos I was ill!
Deal breaker!
Everyone is entitled to moan, but he wouldn't have it, so he lashed out.
I now have my own house with the kids, a new relationship with the kindest, sweetest man who bends over backwards for me to help in any way. He's so supportive and compassionate.
Count yourself lucky, getting out of a relationship now before it turns even more nasty is the best thing you can do. Break all ties with him. I wouldn't advocate staying with anyone who shows even the slightest bit of intolerance to your illness.
And Hannah, there are some nice men out there, and one day you'll find him.
I wish you both good luck
xxx

 

[xJillx]

Lydia said it perfectly!

You made the right decision, and you'll find someone who is worthy of you.

 

[Terriernut]

Mine has decided it's too much trouble to take me hospital for my op on the 7th of Sept!!! And definetely too much trouble to be there when I wake up!

Course he wasnt there for the emergency surgery either for three days
:ybatty:

 

[juicy24]

I'm sorry for what everyone has gone thru and thanks for your story. It sucks that we have to deal with it but im glad i have somehwere like here to talk to people who actually understand me I think being single is going to help me it is going to be a little scary but right now I pretty much am by myself considering he doesn't go to any of my doc appts or any thing else. He tried lying today saying he was there when I woke up from my last colonscopy which was 3 months ago, he said my mom was there. HA no she wasn't!!! Crazy he also said that what happened when I had the surgery was in the pass and that it shouldn't matter. But he doesn't realize that is going to affect me no matter what happens. It is going to be difficult to find someone who can "deal" with someone whos sick :-/ I am always going to be afraid that they are going to do the same thing, leave me when I need someone.

 

[Kit]

I am glad you are sharing your story and getting in off your chest, and just to let you know there are very supportive men out there. My husband has been a dream. He even does more research than me, when I became overwhelmed and didn't want to learn about Crohn's anymore. Unfortunately, when you are a spouse or significant other they have to change the way they do things too to help accommodate and that is hard. Keep taking care of yourself.

 

[SarahAnne]

When I met my current husband, I had Crohn's and a 20 month old child. I never thought anyone would ever be interested in me again. We've been together now for almost 7 years. He does research on my condition, calls doctors for me, and is my biggest advocate when I am in the hospital. He has missed so much work because of me and has never complained. There are amazing, caring, wonderful men out there. Take care of yourself and get happy however you can. When you are in a good place, the right man will find you. Good luck!

 

[juicy24]

Thank you