Sorry, I can't stop feeling down

[Dragonfly72]

The feeling's of depression are getting worse, seeing my therapist this week, but my thoughts at time go to just not living this any longer~. I feel like a burden on everyone and now some friends and family are all ready "over it". Really??? I have only been diagnosed x 7 mos and may be back out on disability again. I just feel I only have my one person to turn to and scared he will eventually "get ver it". He states he won't and promised me and I believe him. I just feel on certain days of overwhelming feeling of not going on... No worries, I have no plans, but I just dont want to exist, I want to live... Which I am not~

Thank you for allowing me to vent and I appreciate if you took the time to read.

May you all have better days ahead~
Thank you
M

 

[Jennifer]

I really wish that this wasn't common as I see it on the forum but unfortunately it is. I'm sorry that you're going through this. :hug:

We all really need a good support system and while we're all here for each other on the forum, we need that support from our friends and family as well. The lack of support could likely be a lack of understanding of the disease itself. Its not like we want to be sick or don't want to work and live a normal life like everyone else. We do but there are times when its too hard for many reasons.

I'm glad that you still have that one person to be there and support you. My husband is just now starting to deal with my Crohn's because I was in remission when we met and got married. But he's been very helpful and hasn't pushed for me to try and make meals for both of us or do any of the stuff that I used to be able to do just fine. Sometimes all we need is at least one person but it would be great if everyone else was just as caring.

Things can and do get better though and remember that we're here for you anytime. :ghug:

 

[Jison0612]

I understand these feelings all to well. I've been really up and down emotionally and physically for several months now more down then up. Also I've been married now for 6 years to a great women who is right now having her first excperience with me and a Crohn's flare. She's been very supportive but it's really depressed me because I to kinda forgot I had a disease? I've been off and on anti depressants for months now but I can't seem to bring myself to stick with them. The one thang that has helped me more than anything is breathing in GOD and giving HIM all my worries and sadness and throwing my hands up and saying what is well be and there's nothing worrying can do to change that. It's never gonna be easy to deal with Crohn's especially mentally but trust me take it from me u can have a peace through this I just gotta get ur mind right and realize yeah we got it rough but there's people that have it so much worse I'm thankful for the health I have right now it's not ideal but it could be a lot worse!!!! Keep ur head up and press on I promise it gets easier to deal with

 

[Dragonfly72]

I am holding on so tight to my faith and god, but I feel as though my grip is weakening. The docs are running tests for lupus and (?cancer markers) I just can not seem to find my self or my happy, outgoing person I once was~. I can't thank each of you enough for being there for me and being so supportive!!

Thank you❤
M

 

[nogutsnoglory]

Dragon I am so sorry you are struggling and I totally relate. This disease grips us tightly and tries to shake us physically and mentally. It takes strength to fight back, give yourself credit. This is all new to you and you are learning about the illness and how best to cope.

I'm glad you have a source of support but I would encourage you to explore other options as well. A local CCFA support group or a pain management, some health focused support group you can join. I'm not sure if you see a therapist for talk therapy, but that is very helpful. Cognitive behavioral therapy is very effective at reframing the way we see and think about things. I also think medication for depression is certainly warranted for many who suffer with chronic illness. I am on prozac myself and find it very effective.

I hope you continue to seek support here and in person as well. There are so many people to reach out to that can be of help.

 

[Jison0612]

I struggle so bad with depression and worry about whats to come. I try not to talk about it with my friends and family much cause I don't wanna stress them out. But with my new symtpoms I'm having I'm 100% sure I have something pretty serious out of whack with my body. I've had sinus pressure for a year now, I have burning upper and mid back pains severe,very labored weak breathing, and it feels like my upper abdoman is trying to sink in? I'm trying to get everything around my house straightened up and some old jobs I've been putting off finished cause after the 10th of October I have a awful feeling life well never be the same:-( I have faith in GOD that he will take of my family and that whatever happens is HIS will for my life. I know something's wrong with me I don't wanna believe it but I cannot deny my symptoms there real and it don't sound at all like Crohn's to me. I'll quit rambling but just know I'm struggling with u I'll pray for u if u pray for me

 

[Dragonfly72]

Jison, you will be in my prayers, thank you for your prayers as well! Please keep me posted!!! Again, god bless you all, thank you and trust me, I am listening and taking each of your advise very seriously!!! I don't know what I would do without each of you!

Xo
M

 

[Spooky1]

Dragonfly and Jison, I know how you feel. I'm there too. It's so difficult to live this way, but also I never like to let people know how i'm really feeling. I bottle it up so much I don't get to give myself a break from stress, depression and anxiety. I don't know many people due to my health and I don't get out too much either. life does get unbearably lonely. I do have better episodes than others so I just have to wait for the gloom and doom misery me gets in a better frame of mind. But sometimes the physical and even mental exhaustion is way too much for me, I wonder how I've managed to keep going. I suppose I actually live in hope and with a genuine belief that a cure is just around the corner.

This site is the best place for support. There's very few out there that understand how we actually have to live our lives, but the ones on here are a special bunch of humans. Thank god for this site.

I'm praying for you too.

 

[AJC - Australia]

that is great that you have god to hold on to......because people cant be there with you day and night offering you support in hospital etc. . . and we dont want them to anyway, right? Being a burden is the last thing we want....

Someone once said to me that getting crohns disease was like Gods way of yelling at me with a megaphone 'i want your attention!!!'...... At the end of the day, we are all alone fighting our battles and what better support to have than God, really puts into perspective how minor a bodily disease is......keep the mind and spirit warm and content and the rest will follow.

 

[Dragonfly72]

I have a question for all of you, the past 3 weeks I have had progressive worsening joint pain, at time very painful and at other times achy. Is this part of CD, It was so bad the other day it brought me to tears! So I called my GI and she called me back and said the pain on the bottom of my feet when I first stand with ankle pain is " not normal". She told me to make an appy with rhumotology and let her know the date and she will talk to him... Am I loosing it? Is that why she wants to "talk to him". I have an appt in 2 wks, and have fevers each day alomg with the symptoms and slight swelling.
I am sched for my remicade tomorrow~ I hope that may help! I go for my infusions every 4 weeks, and 75MG of 6-MP daily. I know I am constipated as well~ could this be making things worse?
Any advise I would appreciate !

Once again you guys are there for me! Thank you with all my heart!!!
Xo
M

 

[Jennifer]

That's good that you're going to see a Rheumy soon (was going to suggest it but thankfully your GI did). Let us know how the appointment goes. I don't know about constipation making things worse. Do you use anything to try and help things move along?

 

[natmarie89]

Please don't ever feel like you have to apologize for feeling down. When people say "get over it" (gee, you mean I don't have to be miserable - shucks - why didn't I think of that?) or my personal favorite, "_______ has it so much worse than you", I just want to SCREAM and tell them to never assume anyone's problems aren't the world to them. Let them walk a mile (if they can handle it) in your shoes, Dragonfly72. Please keep the faith.

 

[Dragonfly72]

Thank you<3 ! I am trying Nat, Jennifer I take linzess daily and fleets as well as colace, my flare is better per the latest CT, But my bowels are acting like no improvement has been made~ weird! I will keep you all posted on my rhumb appt on the 22nd!!!

I can't thank you enough for being good friends and support<3
Michele