Stoma misadventures and epic fails

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Samboi

Samboi

Joined
Jan 1, 2012
Messages
1,073
Location
Australia
Thought it might be fun to share some silly stoma stories.

I was at the movies yesterday when I decided to do a sneaky bag burp.
I was in a slightly reclined position - but not laying down.
Unsnapped the top and applied a little pressure to squeeze the air out.
Air escapes .... and ..... of course a little liquid had to come long for the ride too!
Had it on my hands ... no tissue ... snapped it shut ... discretely wiped my hands on my lower jeans ... pulled top back down to cover my little mess and exited stage left, walked to the bathroom and cleaned myself up.

Of course today - I'm out getting an x-ray - look down and discover that the leak had actually spread on to the top I had been wearing yesterday ... shame I was wearing the same top today and didn't notice the little poop stain!

Ooops!! :rof:
 
Good grief I try to forget! I had my epic win in burping my bag in the car with my partner. Epic fail when a bag blow out happened in a meeting. Excused myself and had to go 20 miles home. Explained my fridge caught on fire at home. I had pretended my phone kept vibrating with calls from my neighbour. Course that couldn't explain the smell. Tegaderm tape saved my ass that day to get me 20 miles home without destroying my car interior!
 
lol literally right after reading this thread, I got up to empty my bag as it was almost completely full (I got lazy and distracted reading the stoma subforum!!). I was holding my bag up as it was so heavy and was only once I got to the bathroom that I realised I was actually touching my stoma with poo all in my hand, down my clothes, leg and splatted all over the floor! The underneath of my bag seal had popped open somehow! Luckily we don't have carpet in the hall way either!

I was 5 mins from leaving my house too!! What a major clear up operation!! Yes, my fault that I was too lazy to empty it before but this thread cursed me!! :p
 
Completely missing the toilet early in the morning while still half asleep and trying to quietly clean up a humongous mess. That's about the worst that has happened with me thus far.
 
Walking back to the car after a concert last night - neede a quick bag burp to avoid a potential explosion.
Waiting on a crowded street corner, waiting for the lights to change - I did a quick unclip and squeezed the air out.
The crowd on the street corner literally scattered and ran for cover.

My two teenage boys were impressed by the power of the Stoma!!
Although one admits he may never recover from the experience!!
And I now have no credibility when I ask them to behave in a civilized and decorous manner.
 
I'm a nurse and had a full blown leak (velcro got caught on my trousers and opened). It happened in a side room whilst I was tending to a patient. I could feel this very warm liquid slowly trickle down my leg. I made a hasty exit and went to clean myself. That particular night I forgot to bring my spare clothes, so I had to wear some spare scrubs that they kept on this ward. Unfortunately they only had them in a small size, so I spent the rest of my shift on the ward wearing trousers that were half way up my shins and a very tight top. Thankfully, my fellow nurses were absolutely great and we all could see the funny side of it. It was one of those nights :ylol:
 
Had an epic situation this morning. Woke at about 5am after a really good sleep. Reached over and felt my bag was extremely ballooned, got up and headed for toilet, unfortunately the bending to get up must have caused small lift in bottom of base plate. So stuck hand at leak and stepped into toilet, un did the Velcro and managed to spray the whole toilet with very liquid poop. Was up the wall all over bowl right across floor, got the roll holder with 6 rolls omit, even managed to get it in the bin. So once bag was empty I started quickly trying to clean up the mess when whoosh more liquid poop started spraying out from the bag blow out. Ended up in shower even having to wash hair as it completely showered me. Got out of shower, fitted new bag then completed bathroom clean. Unfortunately I have a dose of something and output is really watery, hence I am on 3 rd bag in 24 hours and sticking close to home.

Talk about a mess.
 
Well as of yet I have not had to have a stoma but I would like to chime in with my funny pooing story. I use to work about 30 mins from home and I was having some major stomach issues. At the time the Dr did not know I had Crohn's and told me I needed more fiber in my diet. I started eating the fiber one bars and OMG what a mistake. I lived in the bathroom and we were in very close quarters to each other. needless to say the smell was awful. I decided one day I was not going to stink it up at work and make it home. My stomach was bubbling something terrible and I thought if i could just release a little gas I could make it home. Well you know they say don't trust a fart, i ended up crapping my pants and had to ride 30 minutes in the winter with the windows down trying not to pass out from the smell.

Of all days my husband was woke when I got home. I worked 12 hr shifts at night. I came in walking wobbly and he was like whats wrong. I said oh nothing my leg was a little sore. He followed me to the bathroom and saw all the wonderful D that has spread everywhere. That was the first time I really had to explain to my DH about my stomach problems. That was several years ago and now when im in a bad flare he will even change my diapers. Gotta love my poor hubby.
 
My most embarrassing moment with mine was when I took my father to the hospital he had to have a small procedure on his back so after getting him settled in I decided to go get something to eat as I had about 2 hours to waste. I went to the bathroom before my way down to the cafeteria. Well I walked all through the hospital and I swear EVERYONE looked at me. I thought maybe it was my good hair day I was having. So I decided to head back up to check on dad and had to use the restroom again walked in and looked in the mirror and seen my bag hanging out of my shirt( I wear the clear see though bags)!!!!!! I was sooo embarrased! I wanted to melt!
 
While I was in hospital, my dad decided to take me to the Costa coffee in the hospital reception for a change of scenery. I'd only had Jr. about 5 days and I still had a urinary catheter in so it was a wheel chair job. But Jr. was a high producer and even though I'd emptied two hours ago one hot chocolate later and I was sat in a wheel chair in Costa covered in a poo soaked dressing gown, I was so embarassed I started peeing and you could actually see the catheter water level quickly rising!

Luckily I've had nothing since. Especially as I got a nice new Spock dressing gown as a get well present.
 
I had a temporary back a few years back. It was unexpected and I was inexperienced as well. When I finally went back to work with the bag I tried to empty it in the work bathroom and it ripped opened and leaked everywhere on the floor. I was so ashamed and scared that somebody would come in this public bathroom I was on all 4 trying to wipe everything clean before anybody came in.

I was lucky nobody ever knew I had an accident.

I raise my hat to all of you. I had my two bags for 6 months and I do not know how I would live with it forever...
 
These are all such awesome stories!! I wish I could have seen this when I was new to the whole Ostomy world :) I'll share my misadventures. Ive had MANY liquid burps. Too many to count. So ill share another story. When I was first out of the hospital, I looked like death. I was 89lbs, and white as a ghost. They didn't think Id make it out of the hospital. Anywho, I looked like a ghost. My dad decided to buy me 5 tanning sessions just to get my color back. And maybe hide some of the bruising from my veins giving out. I go to the tanning salon (never been) and get ready to get some color. I go to lay down, and I feel something warm under my bottom/lower back. My clip fell of and leaked ALL over their tanning bed. And I was fresh out of the hospital with an ileostomy, so you could only imagine the amount of output there was!! I was so embarassed. So I took some of the little WHITE towels they give you to clean it up. I didn't want them to know, so I threw it away in the bathroom trash can :( Epic FAIL! I never went back :ylol2:
 
Indeed! I'm an original Trekkie. (they raised me actually, I was a latch key kid in the 60's)
 
I'm a 2nd generation Trekkie but I got a soft spot for Spock and Sulu. It's a shame they didn't keep the female first officer from the pilot episode.
 
I was one of those loser girls that fancied Wesley Crusher from the next gen when I was about 10!! Maybe I shouldn't of admitted to that on a public forum!
 
I grew up with original Star Trek, but was never interested until I saw Jean Luc Picard (Sir Patrick--serious YUM!) and Worf. Worf may not be a good Klignon, but he is sexy!
 
Pointy_ears said:
I'm a 2nd generation Trekkie but I got a soft spot for Spock and Sulu. It's a shame they didn't keep the female first officer from the pilot episode.
Click to expand...

They did, they just made her into Nurse Chapel. After all she was Mrs Rodenberry. (shouldna demoted her!)
 
I know, but she was sexier with dark hair. Not saying I wouldn't have liked nurse chapel looking after me while I was in hospital.

Riker didn't always have a beard :p but seriously will Wheaton! Have you seen him on the Big Bang theory? He has a beard now and he's evil!
 
Pointy_ears said:
I know, but she was sexier with dark hair. Not saying I wouldn't have liked nurse chapel looking after me while I was in hospital.

Riker didn't always have a beard :p but seriously will Wheaton! Have you seen him on the Big Bang theory? He has a beard now and he's evil!
Click to expand...

Evil Will Wheaton was on Criminal Minds once...scared the hell out of me!!! And both Data and Geordie have been on Big Bang...I love that show!!!!
 
It is like a geeks heaven isn't it :-D I saw evil will on criminal minds too. Now who's smarter Spencer Reid or Wesley Crusher?
 
Pointy_ears said:
Riker didn't always have a beard :p but seriously will Wheaton! Have you seen him on the Big Bang theory? He has a beard now and he's evil!
Click to expand...

OH MY GOD. That is HIM?!?!!?!? I never realised!!!! My night is completely ruined now!! See, the beard spoils it every time!! Men love them, women (most) hate them. Sigggghhhhhh.
 
:eek2: I'm sorry lol, just when your replies were becoming the highlight of my day! Well that and the pub lunch I had earlier :)

You got to be kidding, soon as the steroid rash is gone I'll be going straight to th barbers for a cut throat shave!
 
I don't mind a well kept beard or goatee....I hate the ones that make men look like ZZ Top...lol Or those guys on Duck Dynasty...
 
Google it...it's a horrible reality tv show...it's hilarious though...lol
 
Nyx said:
Evil Will Wheaton was on Criminal Minds once...scared the hell out of me!!! And both Data and Geordie have been on Big Bang...I love that show!!!!
Click to expand...

There is a Big Bang Theory marathon on right now...we are on our 3rd episode tonight lol.....LOVE IT!
 

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