Support Group bust

[malorymug]

Last Thursday I finally got my son to go to a monthly crohn's support group at our children's hospital. It was "teen night" and I thought it would be the perfect time for him. But it wasn't.

It was a bust. He never made eye contact with anyone and I don't think he talked. There were 4 girls and one other boy. He won't tell me why he didn't like it, other than "It was boring".

It is run by the GI office's clinical therapists and they seem so nice.

He has been feeling great so I wonder if he doesn't want to talk about Crohn's when he is feeling good. But I haven't taken him when he isn't feeling good because then he is so fatigued it is all we can do to go to school, there are no extras. Perhaps there is no "right" time.

So....anyone have some good support group stories, or some tips to make this more successful?

 

[ronroush7]

I am sorry for the way it turned out.

 

[my little penguin]

Hugs
I think you said it right there
Clinical therapists and GIRLS
both like to talk a lot about their feelings and everyone else's feelings
Our psychologist told us getting a teenage boy to acknowledge he has feelings let alone what they are and then speak about them with folks outside the family is increasingly difficult for them

Ds "plays" with other kids that have crohns
They each know the other has crohns but don't necessarily
"Talk" about it

We have come to the conclusion knowing someone had similar issues to you is great
Talking about a disease that is only a small part of who you are with other kids not so great

 

[Maya142]

Our children's hospital also has a support group for kids and teens. It is run by the psychologists that work in the GI clinic.

My daughter (teenage girl!) always absolutely refused to go. She just was not interested, even though her psychologist runs the group. She is happy to see her psychologist individually, but said the support group idea was "weird."

We didn't push it. She has a couple friends with IBD and she can talk to them if necessary. She also has a couple of friends with Juvenile Arthritis that she can talk to - she met them through the Arthritis Foundation at various events. She also wants to volunteer for one of the JIA camps.

Would your son consider attending Camp Oasis? That's a different environment that might work better for him. More focus on doing stuff than just talking.

 

[Tubes]

I tried multiple different support groups when I was a teen they were a bad time always Teen's are pissy & Miserable(I include myself in that generalization)when nothing's wrong Now give them an embrassing disease and stick them in a room to talk about their feelings it's a recipe for disaster.

 

[malorymug]

I was hoping this group might be what he needs to want to go to camp Oasis. Alas, we are still a no-go. He has no interest in going to any type of sleep away camp. His younger brother LOVES camp, but he is adamantly against it.

He sees a therapist 2/month and looks forward to going to see her. She is wonderful with him. I do not know what they talk about but I doubt it is crohn's, more likely life skills.

 

[Tesscorm]

My son never had any interest in any of the support groups. He was diagnosed at a children's hospital and they had a number of IBD events, one of which was a skating/hockey event at the Air Canada Centre (our NHL arena) and, even that, held no interest for him. I think it's like MLP said - crohns is just a small, secondary part of who he is and not a topic he wants a social event to revolve around. He has met a few people who have crohns but, even then, his comments are 'I met this guy at school, he's in my xx class, really cool because he plays guitar and sings so we're going to meet up sometimes to play/jam together, I met him thru so and so, etc., etc.' and, very much as an aside, he'll say 'oh yeah, he has crohns too'. So, although the topic obviously came up or he wouldn't know the other kid has crohns, he really mentions it as the least important piece of 'interest' that he shares with me...

But, I think it's good that your son sees a therapist as I do think the diagnosis and how to live with it, how it'll affect him, etc. needs to be dealt with. With S, I think what helped him was that he was very open about it as soon as he was diagnosed. He told all his friends, all his teammates, his girlfriend, etc. At times, I wondered if it was such a great idea that he shared so much but, now, I think it was how he dealt with it. He realized all were supportive and it didn't change how his friends, coaches, teachers treated him and I think that helped him realize that it was only one part of him. So, in a sense, his therapy was 'everyone'. So, as long as your son has someone he can vent to and/or ask questions, that's what's important.

 

[Mehita]

My son has no interest in taking about his Crohn's either. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said he feels well, so might not see a reason to talk about it (that and the girls). On a positive note, if he really likes his therapist, I bet he would, if he ever needed to, open up to her about Crohn's related stuff. Just the fact that he trusts her and has a rapport with her is HUGE for a teen boy!

 

[CrohnsKidMom]

Perhaps it's a boy thing. My 11 yr old son is quite insightful and can express himself well, but I don't think you'd get him in a support group. He loves camp, but he will not even consider our "Camp Guts and Glory". He says, "Mom, I know I have Crohns. I know other people have it. But I don't want to spend my time being reminded I have it with people who want to talk about all the time." Nuff said.