Telling your employer about crohns

[Cronie1]

Hi everyone

When I was diagnosed a few weeks ago, I was really ill and sore for about a week after my colonoscopy, my manager wouldn't put me on the sick and insisted I take my days off as leave. I came back in after three days off as a result, when I was still very sore and fatigued to sort out my leave/sick. He said it was up to me if I wanted to tell anyone else about my illness, which was fair enough. I told a few close colleagues as I wanted them to understand why I had been declining invites for lunch, etc.

Another boss I told in my office (to facilitate Gp / hospital appointments) said to me 'that's not so bad, at least it's not cancer'. Which I was shocked and hurt by. Unfortunately I then moved offices and news of my diagnosis spread to a few other people. One of my colleagues approached me, told me her nephew had it, that he was really bad and couldn't leave the house etc, but still couldn't get pip, and at least I wasn't as bad as him. She even went so far as to ask who my consultant was and what hospital I was attending.

Granted my crohns has been regarded as 'early stages but I feel my illness has been completely undermined my the reactions of my bosses/ colleagues. I feel like I've basically been told not to complain and I'm not worthy of pip or any additional help. I feel so down right now. Has anyone else had these sort of reactions?

 

[ronroush7]

I am sorry what has happened to you.

 

[Cross-stitch gal]

I pretty much said the same thing in this thread below and left a couple links to check out too. But, unfortunately telling others about IBD seems to be kind of a win/loose situation. I've been at the same workplace for over 16 years and my coworkers/managers have seen me through thick and thin. Even now, I have certain ones I trust more than others. As you get more comfortable with your diagnosis I think you'll learn what you want others to know. I hope this helps some. Lots of hugs and support are being sent your way.

http://www.crohnsforum.com/showthread.php?p=975825#post975825

 

[Bufford]

When I tried to return to work they did an assessement on me and told me that I no longer met the qualifications for the job which involved lifting heavy manhole access covers on the boilers at work. They said I could take the security guard position for less pay and midnight shifts. I took their early retirement package and tried not to get hit by the door when I left.
Not happy at first, but given the changing nature of Crohn's it turned out to be the best option by far.

 

[Cronie1]

Thank you all for your support and responses. It's sad that there so much misunderstanding/ lack of care for chronic illness in society. It seems I've a lot to learn and experience yet, so I may try and be prepared for it.

 

[MizzSarah]

I had to put in a medical accommodation and it had to be one of the worst days of my life. I did it to protect my job and in the long run it has been a good thing but boy did it crush my self-esteem. The disease in itself is very taboo and having to write it down on paper makes it seem like one of those lame excuses that people would say to get out of work. I’ve seen people around my work even use the excuse ‘bowel troubles,” just so they can get out of doing an undesirable task.

I’ve had this accommodation in place for 5 plus years now and it just became a permanent accommodation. Again, another crushing realization.

 

[The Real MC]

I've been at my current employer for 13 years and they knew of my Crohns from day one. I had no restrictions until my resection; when I returned to work after the surgery, one restriction I found was I could not work in a tight crawl space. That caused a few sick days so I was relieved of that responsibility.

Then a few years later I started developing reactions to certain foods in the form of abdominal cramps. Had a lot of sick days and some hospital stays during that time. I had identified the trigger foods and cut them out of my diet, and have managed to keep CD under control. But I can develop a new trigger at any time.

Because of the dietary issues, my manager has hesitated to send me to Asia where a large assembly line project is underway. I did not ask for the restriction, he did that on his own. The concern is if I eat something that causes a condition that needs medical care, and the quality of medical care in Asia is not good. One of our folks caught an infection while in Asia and she was out on disability for six months. I talked to the plant nurse who is familiar with my condition and she agreed I should not go to Asia. I have traveled to Europe and to South Africa without any problems, but Asia does worry me.

While I might had restrictions due to health conditions, my employer does make an effort to keep me busy with other tasks. Very grateful for that.

 

[teeny5]

Those who I have worked with for a long time are more understanding because they saw me when I was extremely under weight and had to take a month off of work. Those people ask me how I am doing from time to time and get that I have a disease.

Others that are newer that I have told because they have asked why I won't eat something or have noticed when I am having an off day totally don't get it. They just think oh you get a tummy ache sometimes...um no, it's little more involved than that.

I just try to remember that before I had the disease I had never heard of it either.

It's hard when you have no one that really understands what you are going through...thank goodness for this forum!

 

[Cronie1]

Further to my original post,

I was off sick (again) from my work for 8 months with a crohns flare up which had just settled in the past few months and I am currently 13 weeks pregnant. We had trying for quite some time but the crohns had an impact on my fertility as I was always flaring.

I was assigned a new line manager at work about a year ago and instantly she had it in for me. Constantly criticising my work, making little of my illness (making me lift computer monitors etc when she knew I had arthritis in my back). Contacted my union rep but they didn't want to know. My line managers behavior was possibly coming from someone more senior, as I had just got part time hours approved by hr, which they did not want to give me. Anyway, after a few weeks of this treatment and leaving work in tears one day, I ended up in hospital for a week due to the worst crohns flare up yet. The stress I would say was a definite factor.

As I am now pregnant my gp advised me to try to return to return to work in order to get some maternity pay, I reluctantly agreed.

I have been back on a reduced hours basis for the past 3 weeks but it has been as bad as I imagined it would be. Several people have been ignoring me. I heard one telling across the office 'what's she doing back?' With swearing. Quite a few people have left in the time I have been off but, as a result, my manager has more power, and is very close with senior management.

I spoke to the senior manager last week as I couldn't take her petty criticism any more, and he basically advised for me to speak to her myself, despite already sending her an email explaining about my illness in light of her criticism.

I'm trying i hide my pregnancy for as long as I can as I know I'll get more verbal abuse/treatment. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it until at least September in order to get maternity. I'm worried about flaring with the stress or harming my baby. Sorry for the long post.

 

[Jo-mom]

Hi, so sorry what you are going through. You mentioned Union - is there another Union rep that can help you. Being treated this way is something that the union can represent you on. You should feel comfortable in your workplace.

 

[Cronie1]

Hi jo mom. Thanks for your response. Unfortunately our organisation is only assigned one rep by the union. Also my line manager is actually the union rep for the main union that staff on our organisation join. Thankfully though I found another union that would take me on several years ago.I spoke to their legal department and they recommended I follow the grievance procedure, but I have no faith In this as i have previous experience and I was more stigmatised for speaking out than saying nothing, so ended up transferring at that stage. I would apply for transfer now but with 2/3 months to go I don't think i can deal with the upheaval of learning a new post and starting a new office. Besides it can take years for transfers to happen as well.