The blues

[Guest]

the blues

i seem to have lost my happy gene over the past few days.. coinciding with an increase in the crohns activity. this isnt the first time i've noticed a correlation between my physical and emotional state.. i just wondered why its such a noticeable connection. i'm not any more worried about my health than i was a few days ago, i just feel tired, down and weepy. if a sad song came on the radio right now i think i'd go bawl my eyes out in a corner somewhere.

 

[D Bergy]

My theory is that increased inflammation leads to increased depression and anxiety.
It is across the board on virtually any inflammatory disease.

Doctors even have names for it such as MS personality, Crohn's personality, Fibromyalgia personality, Arthritis, etc, etc.

They all have chronic inflammation as the common thread. I call it inflammation personality.

Hope you can get to feeling better, I know how it feels and it sucks.

Dan

 

[butt-eze]

I'm so sorry to hear that you're not doing well. I agree with Dan that this is just yet another potential side effect to IBD. I suggest that if you're not already on an anti-depressant that you discuss it with your doctor. I know several others on the forum are on anti-depressants. I myself am on zoloft 100mg.

 

[BWS1982]

Zoloft here, and I also take Seroquel for racing thoughts and anxiety of sorts. I tend to be bipolar and have some OCD tendencies....

Just thought I'd share, I know how you feel. Thing of being bipolar is you have your two "polars"....if I'm not depressed I'm in what the docs like to call the "manic" state...I am very optimistic and almost hyper, I get a lot of stuff done and can have fun easily, lol....just haven't been like that much lately...

 

[soupdragon69]

Hey Dingbat,

You are definately not alone at the minute on this one. Last Thursday I saw my GP and the tears just streamed down my face. Couldnt stop once I started. The least thing sets me off and am ok as long as I keep myself busy. Once I settle or settle to sleep at night I start bawling again! Last night was the first night I didnt cry before sleep or wake up crying with pain.

My GP asked me if it was the pain, the fact that I was having to look at going back on elemental drinks again or just everything all at once. Do you know I couldnt answer him? Afterwards I worked out it was just everything at once. He has given me decent painkillers now which I have to say he really jumped on once I actually owned up to the level of pain I was in. I am back on my elemental drinks and intend to stay on them til everything settles down.

I have been on holidays since last week and dont go back to work til 25th March (my birthday) and I felt that it wasnt long enough as I have been sleeping for 12-14hrs a day of late because am so exhausted and I was upset because of this too.

For the last 6mths I have also been under immense pressure at work as my current boss has been horrible about my 4mths off last year. That is being resolved now as am changing jobs at the end of the month.

On top of all the above I wonder if like Coeliac folk I have an element of what I eat affects me emotionally. Coeliacs are known to develop depression if they eat gluten... Its been one that has made me think too...

Anyway, will stop waffling now. Wanted you to know you certainly are not alone and for me it has been a combo of things that were beyond my control. Last Thurs was the culmination of how I had been feeling for weeks. Am starting to pick up now I think with being on my elemental again and other things resolving or being resolved.

Thinking of you

 

[Guest]

thanks guys, for all your replies.

i'm not on any anti-depressants, havent been for many years. the last thing i took like that was prozac, must be at least 20 years ago, and i hated the numb feeling it gave me.

normally i can shoulder everything that life throws at me, or at least seem to on the outside. i have a strong fighting spirit, which has got me through so much. but lately that spirit seems tired, and i'm fed up of fighting. i think i have a subconscious rule that i cant "let go". i cry at films, but i cant cry for myself. i think if i could, & just let it out, i'd feel a lot better.

maybe i should go chat to my gp - will have a think on that.

i'm sorry you've all had the blues too, it is helpful though, to know others have been through this side effect of crohns.

soupdragon - i know how you feel about work. i actually lost my job due to a horrible attitude to me and my tiny amounts of sick time i took. i walked out because i couldnt face the attitude any more. (((hugs)))

 

[soupdragon69]

Well I certainly rub thumbs with you on everything you have just said too! Sometimes or for some folk anti depressants arent the answer... I have never taken them but thats because I feel for me if I am down there is a reason and working out the reason and through how I feel tends to sort me out. As you say the "numbing" effect can have an impact.

My mother was on antidepressants (high dosage) for years and she doesnt remember much of my childhood hence I feel as I do about them. Its not that I condemn anyone else for being on them - they just arent right for me - or I havent felt that I needed them due to how I cope and deal with things. Maybe that will change down the line I dont know..

Thankfully my GP hasnt even raised the subject of anti depressants with me and trys to help me figure out what the problem is as I said earlier.

I totally understand why you did what you did in relation to your job Dingbat.. I am going back to my previous boss and she has said she will help me wherever she can. So far that has meant no night duty, no more than 2 shifts in a row and a limit on overtime hours even if I feel I can do more so that I dont end up exhausted. My current boss who I finish with at the end of the month has called repeated impromtu meetings, threatened me with ultimate dismissal, constantly reminded me of the next formal stage in the meetings despite my having union involvement they say she can do all this.. and that I had to demonstrate I could stay at work even though I have brittle asthma and crohns that are both unpredictable and was doing everything I could to sort myself out. They couldnt see the stress they were putting on me was compounding the problem! My Gastro cons was angry, my GP and my Occ Health cons too and they all backed me thankfully.

I tendered my resignation last January and she refused to accept it saying she didnt want to see me stuck - in reality it was more like they would be stuck because when I was off last year for the 4mths they had a terrible time trying to cover my job because it is so specialised out of the rest of the team of 10 of us! They have now advertised my post and word has gone out round work to the extent no one I know will be applying who would have similar skills. The general feeling is they will have to go outside the area to get someone because everyone is aware of how I was treated too and they dont want to work in that enviroment.
I will say despite everything and being ill several times and refusing to let my GP sign me off because of the pressure I was under I have not been off work since last October. I end up really sick instead on my holidays like now as I just fall apart once I stop!

I truly hope you pick up dingbat and find something suitable that brings enjoyment to your day. Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk more.

Thinking of you lots!

 

[Guest]

thanks jan it sounds as if things at work will be so much better for you under your new boss. sometimes all it takes is for someone to actually understand, and try to help - makes such a difference. i was made to feel like a naughty child at my job, and honestly i hardly took any time off. i dragged myself in there with a white face, and stuck the expected smile on until i left each day. the last day i went in, i really wasnt well or fit enough to be there, and told my supervisor i had to go home. she shouted and lectured me in front of other staff. i know i could have taken things further, i know it was constructive dismissal, but i just couldnt be bothered starting all the legal stuff.

in a way it was a blessing, the relief of not having to push myself and try & achieve looking happy and respectable each day, is great. and i've qualified for incapacity benefit - so thats how i'll muddle along until i feel well enough to work again.

my gp has suggested anti depressants to me, quite a few times - but i've always said no thanks. i feel like you do, that if there is an obvious cause, they probably wouldnt help me. maybe i just need to win the lottery, then book myself on a luxurious pampering holiday somewhere hot, hire myself a maid......

i hope everything settles down for you soon jan, if you're managing to mostly keep your work hours, then i'd try to make a real effort to chill out during your evenings & weekends, so you can recharge your strength. crohns really makes us re-assess our life patterns doesnt it?

 

[soupdragon69]

OOH DB I hear you loud and clear on the white face and struggling into work daily!! I also understand what you mean about could have taken it further but couldnt be bothered. You start to be economical with your energy dont you and choose what you will have energy for and what you wont?

I am glad you have the incapacity to support you - I was told by work to go and get myself a disability badge but I dont want to give in to something like that when I know I still have good days and perhaps someone else would benefit more than me.

I love the idea of the pampering, hols and maid! LOL I am very fortunate that I have good friends who keep track of me and we catch up with "coffee" on a regular basis.

You are also very right about the aspect of just wanting/needing someone to understand and try to help. My old boss that I am going back to has said if I find I am getting tired etc to let her know and we can adjust my work shedule or try other things. I just feel that a great weight has been lifted off me finally. My current boss agreed when I said that every time I ended up off sick be it 6mths, 3yrs or 10yrs time she would put me through that procedure. So told her that was why I was leaving because it wouldnt matter whether I put 100% into my work or not it would never be enough and I couldnt live and work like that with it hanging over my head. Best decision I ever made!!

Keep in touch DB eh? ((hugs))

 

[D Bergy]

If you want a good shot at controlling the depression, attack the inflammation. It has a good chance of relieving both physical and mental symptoms of Crohn's.

I did this to treat my Crohn's and ended up resolving my depression by accident. Since then I made the correlation between the inflammation and the depression, from not only my own experience, but from people with Lyme, MS and other diseases.

The beauty of it is you do not have to take anything that powerful. Just supplements or foods that combat inflammation. Some things that help are Fish Oil at double the dose for normal people. Ginger and Turmeric at 1500 to 2000 mg a day.
There are actually many other anti inflammatory supplements, but these are the ones I used. They are not even all that expensive.

Always check for interactions between supplements and medications.

I think the evidence is rather strong for this connection. It seems to be a rather simple case of cause and effect.

Dan

 

[Methofelis]

Hey there.

I know how it goes... I cannot actually recall a day where I have been "happy" for many, many years. I have been sick for most of my life, so perhaps I just haven't been given a chance to recover long enough to feel good.

I have to say that when I was placed on first Prozac, then Paxil and finally Zoloft about ten years ago it was one of the worst periods of my life. The medications made me violent, angry and suicidal. They failed miserably, and I was in a much worse position than where I had started.

I am the kind of person that charges ahead no matter what, though -- we have no choice. Keep going or go stale and fade away. Just keep fighting, find a medicinal or non-traditional therapeutic method that works for you on your depression, be it fighting the inflammation or just Prozac, meditation or a dog, but don't give up. You're not alone.

 

[Guest]

jan - if you werent so far away, i'd be tempted to come and do coffee and compare symptoms & moans with you lol

dan i strongly suspect you're right - the crohns never bothered me mentally or emotionally much until it started really showing its presence. i think underlying my daily coping mechanisms is the worry that i've been told more than once by my consultant that if left active, a crohns patch can turn cancerous. this is why i am trying with prednisolone suppositories to reduce the inflammation, but its not really working. i have tried asacol, which they want to me to take as well, but it makes me bleed. i would try anything which could help me, and like you say, the less powerful & unnatural, the better in my case. i think i will seek out some advice re the three products you mentioned - thank you

methofelis - hiya, and thank you for your positive thoughts. giving up is a long way off, although to be completely honest here - i think if it werent for my family needing me, i would have done long ago. i dont know if i'm officially depressed.. i'm not suicidal or refusing to get out of bed, or anything like that. i just have a cloud of fedupness hanging over me, and reaching my fighting spirit or my humour is harder than it used to be.

this forum is fab though. there isnt anywhere else in my life i can reach out and be so understood, by so many people. thank you guys!

 

[soupdragon69]

DB you would be most welcome anytime believe me! Like I said keep in touch.

 

[Kev]

you know, (and this is probably just another crazy theory from a crazy old man) but I've noticed it too... and not sort of like in 'I get worse, and then feel blue' (which is a perfectly normal reaction)... but in the reverse too.. a lot. Like, I feel blue, and then notice symptoms indicating i'm getting worse, or flaring, whatever. so, is this a case of my mood causing my disease to accelerate.. I don't think so.. Here's my crazy theory. Think our bodies are more aware of what's going on than our 'socialized/civilized' senses tell us DIRECTLY. like, its a throwback to our knuckledragging, cave living ancestors. Inflamation, anything they couldn't see, touch ,etc... HAD to make itself known.. early warning system SO those best attuned to their bodies passed it along in their genepool. so we have inherited this early warning system AND we dont' know what the 'alarms' are... I mean, studies have been trying to correlate 'depression' with crohns directly, and apparently never could... thinking depression causes crohns or vice versa... whereas I 'prefer' to think of it as the bodys way of saying.. 'See here, old fart... things may take a little turn for the worse in the next few days, here's a little headsup, OK' Like I said, just a crazy old mans foolish notion.

 

[Guest]

no thats not a foolish notion at all kev, i completely get what you're saying. its like, when i'm about to come down with a cold/bug and theres as yet no signs, i have awful disturbed nights and bad dreams. i think all these signs are a flag to make us slow down and just be prepared. i think it would be really difficult for a gp to assess if what we crohnies feel is true depression or just a cause/effect or even side effect thing.

you just touched on something which rings so true - others cant see crohns disease, or how we feel. its one of those illnesses which so often hurt and debilitate us so much, yet we can look healthy on the outside - which in my case certainly has caused me to feel i'm on my own with it all sometimes. even the other week when i was in a&e i overheard one of the nurses saying "oh, she looks well enough", which in hindsight i feel led to my being ignored for so long, not getting my obs done for over 2 hours, and my pleas for painkillers falling on deaf ears.

 

[BWS1982]

I, for one, am relieved nobody can see me wear a diaper to work.

And now...I for one, am relieved I also haven't put up a picture of myself on this forum either....

:lol: