Things people say...

Crohn's Disease Forum

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tayandky

tayandky

Joined
May 11, 2011
Messages
47
Yes I'm underweight...why...CD!! So don't look at me and say, "wow your skinny, why are you that way?!" or say, "gain weight!". I know what I really hate?? how about when I finally get the courage to wear a 2 piece bathing suit and bare my scars, and you stare so hard at me? Ask me what happened and I will tell you that because of my surgeries I am here today! To enjoy life! Did you even stop to think how it would make me feel? Thanks alot rude people out there! I have had a hard time gaining weight due to all my surgeries and having no large bowel and some how last year I gained 25lbs, I felt great but ever this the beginning of this year i have lost the 25lbs. I already feel self conscience and it doesn't help when people are so rude!


So here's what I'm going to say...


SCREW YOU RUDE PEOPLE! I'M GOING OUT THIS SUMMER AND WILL WEAR MY BATHING SUIT! STARE ALL YOU WANT!! SAY SOMETHING RUDE TO ME AND I JUST MIGHT BE RIDE BACK!! HA!


k i feel better thanks :rof:
 
I hear ya! I get people pushing food at me a lot, especially cakes, chocolate and sweets which I can't do. They automatically assume that it's vanity, that I want to be skinny and am on some sort of reducing diet. Even when I tell them in brief that I can't eat that kind of stuff, they are still like ' Ah, go on, you can have just a little bit.'
I haven't had anyone be particularly rude to me............yet...... it's just that they don't get it or think that I am some sort of eccentric hypochondriac.
 
I usually get remarks from "bigger" coworkers like, "I am on a diet.", implementing that I am skinny. When I tell them I have Crohn's and explain a tad, they generally back off.
 
I'll use the wonderful Winston Churchill quote. A woman at a party with Winston commented 'Sir..YOU are DRUNK' He replied 'Madam, you are FAT, and in the morning I will be sober'

We have scars, we have lived through ALOT. We are wise, we are survivors. Those that make comments are, quite frankly TWITS. And frankly again, do NOT need our NOTICE!!!

Misty
 
I feel for you. When I first became ill I was told it was viral gastroenteritis (it turned out in fact to be my first flare, but that's a whole other subject). A girl I knew asked why I had been out sick from work and I explained that I had gastroenteritis and I had been so ill that I had lost 11 lbs and that I was still feeling pretty crappy. She said, "Oh, I hope I catch that too, I need to lose some weight!" I was like, "Uh, this is really horrible. You don't want this." She just laughed and acted like I was silly for suggesting that she didn't want to be ill. Um, wow. Seriously, she'd rather have a horrible illness than go work out or stop eating junk food?? I just don't get some people.
 
I think that it is best to try to educate people about Crohn's Disease, but if they still don't get it, then that is just dumb... Sometimes people just will never understand until something like this happens to them or a loved one.
 
I hear comments like this all the time. What really bothers me, are the people who say I'm "doing this to myself." Why the hell would I put myself through this on purpose? I'm in constant pain, I'm literally scared to ****, and I'm always depressed because I think I'll never get better. And people tell me I'm just doing it to myself. It's so frustrating, and I wish they had crohn's for just a day. It's really hard to convey how much pain you're in when it doesn't show on the outside. I just wish people understood me, and stopped judging me and making assumptions.
 
I too have had it with the insensitive comments,...... wish I had it, I need to lose some weight. .......Macrobiotic diet, you should try that anything to be symptom free,....... (yes and there goes your social life, eating out,)....... but wouldnt you do anything it took to be symptom free. My latest stop reading into too much you are scaring yourself.......(I am educating myself by talkin to other people who are experiencing things very similar to me.) The response...yeah well you shouldnt. My response I wonder if you would be so cool and calm about it all if you had the prospect of shitting into a bag in your near future. Their response..but it would only be temporary.. my response so you would be happy to be temporarily shitting into a bag. People who do not have this disease just do not understand. Dont get me wrong their are some lovely family and friends who try to understand and are extremely supportive, but unless you are talking to someone else who is in the same situation as you they cannot understand it. Forums are a life line I feel. Try not to take anything that anyone else says as anything other than ignorance, thats all it is. Get out your bathing suit and enjoy life. Too many people judge without knowing a thing about one another. Lets just make sure we are very conscious of this and we dont do it ourselves. Happy swimming!!!!
 
People just don't think before they speak. I was skinny even before the Crohn's started, but when I was in the midst of dropping weight people would comment more than ever. Mostly it was "Wow, you are so skinny!" Why yes, I DO know that I am emaciated, thank you.

At first the comments made me sad because it was a reminder of how really sick I was with an incurable chronic disease. Then they made me angry. Why would anyone comment about someone's negative appearance? It's inappropriate and insensitive. Just because society generally perceives thinness as something positive (as opposed to being overweight) doesn't mean that you should comment about someone's appearance.

My responses to the comments vary depending on the person and the context.

-For those who ask truly out of concern ("I can't help but notice that you've been losing weight lately, is everything all right?") I tell them about having Crohn's.

-For those who I suspect are just nosy ("You're looking really really skinny, what's going on?") I give them some random excuse - been under a lot of stress at work, not getting enough sleep, etc.

-For those who are just dumb and obnoxious (see some of the comments already mentioned by previous posts), I generally give some snarky response, like, "I have fantastic metabolism. I can eat anything I want and not gain a pound. Doesn't look like you have the same problem." With the really dim people, I'll sometimes play a joke and pretend that I'm on an insane fad diet - "Yeah, it's new. It's called the eggs and Altoids (mints) diet. I can only eat eggs and Altoids. Sounds crazy right? But look at me, IT WORKS. [At this point, I widen my eyes and smile big like a lunatic]." What? I deserve to have a little fun! :)
 
@25times, the good thing is that the people on this forum knows what you and others with IBD are going through. But, there are always going to be ignorant people out there in the world, and that is where a lot of the insensitive comments come from.
 
I say if you don't like it don't look! We all can't be perfect! I've had people tell me to wear my scars proud but it is hard! I actually had a couple people ask me how old my baby is and why they cut me long ways. I laugh and say no baby I have Crohns and they always get embrassed and walk away!
 
I feel you. When I first started having symptoms, I lost about forty pounds in four months. Everyone started talking about anorexia and bulimia. My mom's husband even went to far as to accuse me of taking crack.

I enjoyed being skinny as I'm usually a bigger girl. I'm back to my old weight and can't wait to lose some but I don't want to be super skinny, just healthy. I have a friend who also has Crohn's and I worry for her, she's so small and frail.
 
I have also had people thinking I was doing drugs to, I lost 20 pounds in a month and was really pale. It really bugged me that people would think that but I do live in a town that has a bad drug problem. But I've but some weight back on which I don't enjoy but o well I feel better now.
 
juicy24 said:
I have also had people thinking I was doing drugs to, I lost 20 pounds in a month and was really pale. It really bugged me that people would think that but I do live in a town that has a bad drug problem. But I've but some weight back on which I don't enjoy but o well I feel better now.
Click to expand...

It sucked that people would think that of us. I live in a drug town too. I'm glad you feel better, though.
 
yep, I live in a town with a drug problem. Alot of people do coke and crack and meth. Personally, drugs scare the **** out of me! I would never, ever take hardcore recreational drugs. I smoke a tiny bit of pot to help with my symptoms, but I've never done anything else. I don't even drink anymore. So when people talk about me behind my back about how I've lost so much weight and never go out anymore, so I must have a drug problem, it makes me really mad. They should know me better. Same as when people think I'm pregnant. I'm very careful with birth control, and I've never been pregnant. Actually, I haven't been able to have sex for so long, that there's no way I could be pregnant haha. You pretty much just have to take everything with a grain of salt, and move on. Not everyone is as smart and open minded as us :)
But you also need to know when it's time to knock out some teeth and **** **** up. Don't let people walk all over you and treat you like crap just because they're ignorant and stupid.
 
People are rude and well people are also stupid. I do feel for you. For many many years I've heard from coaches that I need to gain weight. Only now that I stop playing and go on Remicade do I actually gain said weight.
 
God I hate this. People, including myself, need to learn to just STFU. When you comment on anything without knowing the full situation, you're being an ass.

It's especially bad with people who aren't sick, who aren't poor, or who aren't grieving or in some sort of distress. Your life is perfect. Shut your whore mouth about the imperfection of mine. kthx

Sorry for the bad words, but people drive me crazy.
 
Ugh...I am naturally small and always underweight because of the Crohn's. I never understood why people think it is okay to comment on that. Making assumptions about anexoria, bulimia, or drugs...Why is that acceptable? Is it acceptable to go up to an obese person at Pizza Hut and lecture them on their food choices, or tell them that for their health they should change their habits? We have to be so PC when talking about weight because everyone has some sort of thyroid disorder or something that makes them obese. But skinny people are just starving themselves to look good.

People make me so mad! It is none of anyone's business WHY I am so thin. If someone is truly concerned they know how to talk to you; however, the people who are truly concerned already know what's wrong with me. Everyone else is just nosy.

"I wish I had Crohn's disease! You are so lucky to eat whatever you want and not gain any weight! I just can't get these last 10 pounds off!"

Lucky. Yes, I eat whatever I want. Ensure, bananas, mashed potatoes, soup, jello-o; my freakin favorite foods. And guess what! Try eating pizza, salad, raw veggies or fruit, red meat, or chocolate and you can lose weight too! More than 10 pounds, when you're projectile vomiting into your bathroom trashcan while your ass tries to blow up your toilet. I do it all to look like a starving cracked out model, because that's the life.

AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!

sorry, I'm done
 
SarahAnne...et all....

Look them the eye, then look down. Explain you're sorry you are terribly contagious and dying...

Watch them run.....cackle in glee!!!! :hallo3: :ylol:

Misty
 
my sister use to call me a drug addict when I was in high school and my CD was at it's worst. Geez, sis thanks for all of your love and support. To this day, she hasn't been by my side when I had my surgeries. Heck, she won't even let me see or talk to my 2 nieces or 3 nephews. it's been 5 years and I miss my little peeps terribly.
 
Gutless - are you SURE we don't share the same sister?????

Although, mine lives in Canada now - has been back to visit with her son ONCE since he was born...and made it out like it was a hardship to make the trip.....yeah...uh huh.....and I'm the one who took a week off work to take care of little brother after his hip surgery...and a week to stay with Dad (twice!).....etc etc....
 
Pas, maybe in a past life. lol And yes, I'm "still a druggie". :D But I've some good stuff to make me happy so I don't have to be reminded of the crap she put me through...seriously though...it's pain medicine for the 2 nasty abscesses on my belly I have right now.
 
Sisters, don't get me started! When I was first diagnosed I was in the end of my first year of college. I was going to the bathroom 25 times a day and I weighed 84 lbs. My younger sister (I was 19, she was 17) accused me of making everything up just to get attention. :poo:

She had the nerve to make drug comments too. Honestly. Clearly I'm not smoking crack (which I'm pretty sure she's guilty of when she was younger). I do take some "herbal" meds for my nausea, insomnia, and anxiety. Also helps me eat without pain. :hippy:

She doesn't still think I'm making up the Crohn's for attention or meds, but it has been 15 years and she's seen me have multiple surgeries. She understands money, and she realizes I wouldn't be spending that kind of money on surgeries and procedures I didn't need just for attention.
 
SarahAnne, I was going to say the same... It's apparently acceptable to comment on a skinny persons weight, but asking a larger person about it isn't? People often say to me 'wow, how did you get so thin after 3 kids, I'd love to be as slim as you'. I usually use the excuse that the kids just keep me busy, because telling them about the pain and poo just really doesn't seem appropriate sometimes.
 
Yeah we're all just doing this for attention. Some people's stupidity makes me wonder why the hell their parents ever reproduced.
I hung out with my ex boyfriend a couple days ago (we're still really good friends) and he told me that I no longer have a nice butt, and that I was too skinny. I was looking at old pictures, and the weight difference is incredible. I used to be 5'8", 170 pounds. Now I'm 5'8", 130 pounds. And that's only since January! I'm losing weight so rapidly that my skin looks like it's hanging off me. I've always been pretty slim, but when I was 18 I had a pretty bad flare, but since I didn't know I had crohns, I didn't really cut out any foods. I gained alot of weight during that time because all I did was lay in bed and eat. I was also dating a guy who lived on fast food, therefore I lived on fast food. This flare has been much worse, and I started losing weight before I was even diagnosed. eating caused me so much pain, so I just didn't eat. And anything I did eat, I just **** out 20 minutes later.
Now I'm the skinniest I've been in years, and even though my friends know that I'm sick, they still accuse me of eating disorders and drug use. All I can do is stop hanging out with those people and cut them from my life.
 

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