What a GREAT question!!

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Wife2Crohns

Wife2Crohns

Joined
Jul 2, 2010
Messages
49
Location
Colorado
Two days ago my Hubby took an online survey which we both enjoyed, and near the end it asked a scary question.
'What are your greatest fears about your life or your situation?'
Hubby and I stared at the question for a moment, then I walked away to give him some privacy. I thought a bit about my own greatest fears. I remembered back when all this began. I remember the fear. I thought he was going to die on me. New wife, new mother, newly widowed? Yeah, the fear of being alone was terribly over whelming.
Hubby later told me his greatest fear was being 'sick' for the rest of his life. I am so glad he feels good again. We are truly blessed.

So, the question is;
What are your greatest fears about your life with crohn's?

Give a quick response e.g. being alone or being sick
then explain
 
I definately think it is. Some of these drugs are quite dangerous. When I was on Methotrexate the doctor specifically told me not to try because there is a big risk on birth defects in children.
 
Not all meds prevent you from having children. And in many cases, you can stop it temporarily while trying to conceive/being pregnant. Methotrexate is really the main big no-no. Most others can be worked around.

Hmmmm, my greatest fear would be running out of meds. At this point, if Humira fails all I have left is Remicade & Cimzia. Everything else has been useless or reacted badly with me.
 
When I've been at my worst, I've felt like I was 90 years old. Not being able to play with my children should I be lucky enough to have some is my biggest fear.
 
My biggest fear is to not be able to financially support my family due to Crohn's. It has put some severe limitations on what I can do. I am in no way worried about the physical issue, but when I don't have insurance, can't get it unless I find a group plan which currently isn't in the cards, can't afford dental, can't afford optical, money is a HUGE concern.
 
shamrock15 said:
My biggest fear is to not be able to financially support my family due to Crohn's. It has put some severe limitations on what I can do. I am in no way worried about the physical issue, but when I don't have insurance, can't get it unless I find a group plan which currently isn't in the cards, can't afford dental, can't afford optical, money is a HUGE concern.
Click to expand...

I hear THAT! When Hubby got sick he was the only one bringing in any income. I worked in the office where we lived in exchange for rent and although that worked well for us we still weren't making an income. We actually had to go on food stamps for a month. I can't believe how much money the Gov. gives two people for a month of food. Took us three months to deplete the funds. :ybatty:
 
David said:
When I've been at my worst, I've felt like I was 90 years old. Not being able to play with my children should I be lucky enough to have some is my biggest fear.
Click to expand...

That is Hubby's fear too. On top of having Crohn's (which is debilitating all by itself) he has broken every bone in his body from the down-hill mountain bike racing he used to do. So needless to say he hurts.
 
Not being able to see my children as adults and getting married and having their own children.
 
not being able to do what i want because i need the health insurance.
and becoming disabled from my AS
 
I really want to start a family soon with my hubby. My biggest fear is either not being healthy enough to conceive, provide a healthy womb, or be well enough to care for my little one once he or she arrives. I love being domestic (cooking, cleaning, nurturing), and I just want to be healthy and able to have a family and to care for them.
 
I am soo lucky to already have my 2 boys. I am afraid of running out of viable meds to try and then being left with surgery as my only option. Have only got methotrexate and ciclosporin left. Am on infliximzb/remicade now. Also scared to death of getting the dx of crohns on top of already having UC.
 
My greatest fear is that one of my kiddos (or both) inherited Crohn's Disease from my DNA. They are 5 and 6 so I will watch them closely for symptoms and treat early! I know they could live with it as I do but it would just crush my heart!
 
Hi, I would say I agree with KWalker and xJillx and I worry about not being able to have children. This is why I stopped the Methotrexate in June this year, this also stopped the daily headaches. My husband is 11 years older than me and we joke sometimes about me pushing him around in a wheelchair in our old age and there is always a part of me that thinks that it will most probably be the other way round, I cannot stand the thought of being a burden to him.
 
My biggest fear has been realized, Stan! Found out it was nothing to be afraid of!

Then came the other fears. Being alone, not being able to support myself if I get too sick. Not getting help after a surgery, again, being alone. My family is all dead except Dad, and he's in Utah, and I'm in England! Yes...up **** creek without a paddle! I'm afraid, deathly afraid of being unable to care for myself or get help if I need it.
 
My biggest fear is of the unknown. I have had medical issues for so long now with my As and Crohns, and I have no idea if it will get worse and I will be unable to cope anymore. I already feel like I have days like that. When I am in so much pain I worry. Whats my life going to be like in 10 years?? Will I be ok? Will I need surgery? Will I get sick with something else? How much can a person's body handle????
I try to keep as positve as possible, but as we all know, when we are sick, or are feeling down and worn out, worrying about the future takes over....
 
Good ones! Yes, I think if it were me I would also be most afraid of not being able to have children, take care of them properly and of passing on the gene. Good job, anyone else?
 
My biggest fear is dying from complications from CD or from the medicines I take to try to suppress it. That almost happened this summer and now it's an even bigger fear of mine. Before, I didn't believe it could happen, but now I do so I'm extra-solemn when it comes to Crohn's. I want to be there for my kids and to live to see them grow and ultimately hold my own grandchildren.
 
I have very similar fears as everyone else here, what are the long term effects of my crohns and the medications that they are pumping into my system, will I be able to have children, will I pass the gene onto my children, will I have the strength to look after my children... I am fairly young and my body has already been through alot and I wonder how much one persons body can take in a lifetime. I showed this thread to my boyfriend and we had a long talk about it and our fears. His comment to me was that his fears and problems in life are nothing compared to what mine are and I think he is realizing just how scary this disease can be and I think that this has brought us closer together. I have a hard time expressing myself and this site has really helped because we can read through threads together and then discuss them. I am truely grateful for this site, I do not know how I would be getting by without it and all the wonderful people here!
 
Oh my goodness

This was hugely eye opening. What a great question and what honest answers. Some of the tension in our relationship now makes sense. You guys have put into words some of Phil's fears. I get more of the "unspoken" stuff now. We are going to read this together and have a big talk. The genetic issue is huge, I hadn't thought of that. "Our" children are actually "my" children so that is ok, but neices and nephews????

I think the people who mentioned being able to care for and provide for their family have given me the most food for thought.

Thank you all for your honesty and Wife2crohns for asking the question.
 
Not being able to fulfill my promise to my wife. That one day we will live in her native country....
 
Right now my biggest fear is the same as sawdust. I love my boyfriend dearly and he has been right there for me through everything. We talk about getting married as soon as we can afford to pay for my med bills, as right now they are covered through my dad's work until I turn 26 (which is a ways off for me). But I hate thinking that I.ll be a burden to him. That I.ll get worse and he.ll have to take care of me.
 
Jodi, There is no complete proof that if you have crohns your kids will have it, but I read something and it said if one parent has it, there is approx a 6% chance of a child getting it, and if both parents have it, the chance is around 40%. There is nothing saying its guaranteed though.
 
KWalker, my mom had Crohns, I have Crohns. Nothing on my Dads side. Problem is, you never know how the genes will mesh. But it's something you have to prepare for if you want children. There's never a sure bet. They could end up with something thats NEVER been in your family for generations. You just never know! What we all HOPE for is they end up perfect (of course). And that the genes arent passed to grandchildren or great grandchildren.
 
Oh yes, I completely agree I'm just saying is not to base your whole life around it because there is no guarantee. Nobody in my family has it, but my brother and I both do. Some people get it young, some people get it during adulthood. To me, if it happens, it happens.
 
Kwalker, thats interesting stats. Phil never wanted children, always said he was happy with my two. Maybe that was a blessing in disguise.

Ally, please don't underestimate how much your boyfriend cares for you. He will not see it as you being a burden to him. You have come this far together. I think if he wasn't prepared to stand by you then you would have already seen the dust off his shoes. Share your fear with him and be reassured by what he says and believe him when he says he wants to plan a future with you.

Take care
 

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